Do you let your child go on school trips abroad?

Flashdaisy

I have a 10 year old DD, she is currently at Junior school, so at the moment they just have educational day trips twice a year or so, which I am happy to pay for. However next year (2009) she will be going up to Secondary school, and although it is a good school she is due to go to it is renowned for offering expensive trips and holidays to students. For example, my friend's DS who already attends has been on 2 trips in the last 2 years; one to the West Indies, and one to China, at a cost of well over a thousand pounds each.

If I'm honest we really can't afford for DD to go on very many, if any, of these trips when she gets to secondary school. We have a yearly holiday abroad, we have another daughter aged 4, so obviously I wouldn't want us to have to go without a family holiday for the next 5years so DD can go on overpriced school trips.

Those of you with secondary school aged children, what do you do? Do you just say a blanket no to all the foreign trips, as I think I am going to have to, or do you allow them to go on some, or all? I do try hard to just live by our values and make the children live by them too, but it gets harder and harder to say no as they get older lol.

whitewing

When I was at school, we went on french and german exchanges (where you have a french or german child staying with you, and then you go and spend two weeks at their house). That was really good.

But we never went on any 'holidays'. I agree with you that I would rather spend the same money on family trips/holidays.

I certainly wouldn't spend anywhere near £1000 on any one holiday. I wouldn't say 'it's too expensive' or anything; just that family policy is that you have family holidays.

Flashdaisy

Oooh yes, we used to have the exchanges too Whitewing, they were great weren't they? And they hardly cost anything to go on.

Yes, I agree about the family policy being family holidays, I will say that one to DD once she starts asking to go on the trips lol

wolfehouse

I have let all 3 of my kids go on foreign trips over the years because i could afford to do so. the school did trips by coach and did try to keep costs down.

they did a trip to holland in primary school and there was more buzz about the group dynamics than about what they saw/experienced at that age.

the high school trips were not attended by the whole class so they could have missed it without missing out socially.

there is another option - our kids high school used to organise 'volunteer' trips abroad. they spent a whole year raising sponsorship money etc and traveled together the following year.

hobo28

I think that school holidays like this are good for helping kids gain more independance. At secondary school they should start becoming less reliant upon their parents.

However that said, if you can't afford it then you can't afford it. I would simply tell your daughter the truth rather than blame the school for "overpricing" the holiday. Children need to learn to live within their means. It is also an important lesson to learn.

Lastly, most schools will allow payment to be made over a period of time. Ask and see if that might help, rather than be expected to come up with the lump sum at once. I know for my DD's PGL trip I put away £20 a month as soon as I got paid so it wouldn't feel like such a big "chunk". Glad i did now as I had to pay for it the other week.

johnswife

I have three daughters, the eldest never wanted to go on trips.
2nd daughter went to France in first year of secondary cost from memory about £300. She is in first year at college now and went to New york in February cost in cluding warm clothes etc probably near the £1000. She took all her own spending money and she is saving from her Saturday job to repay me some of the cost , which she promised when we agreed she could go.
3rd daughter went to Italy last year and is going to France this year both trips around the £300 mark.

We don't go abroad for holidays, so i am happy for mine to have that experience.
We could not pay for £1000+ trips regularly though so if I was in your shoes I might try and find the money for at least one trip and as she gets older perhaps a Saturday job, Christmas & birthday money could pay for anymore.

Dick_here

Flashdaisy wrote: »

I have a 10 year old DD, she is currently at Junior school, so at the moment they just have educational day trips twice a year or so, which I am happy to pay for. However next year (2009) she will be going up to Secondary school, and although it is a good school she is due to go to it is renowned for offering expensive trips and holidays to students. For example, my friend's DS who already attends has been on 2 trips in the last 2 years; one to the West Indies, and one to China, at a cost of well over a thousand pounds each.

By a "good school", do you mean one of those which has high standards and expects parents to buy into the ethos of the school - which in practice amongst other things means being leaned on to support things like this, whether you can afford it or not....

Flashdaisy

!!!!!!_here wrote: »

By a "good school", do you mean one of those which has high standards and expects parents to buy into the ethos of the school - which in practice amongst other things means being leaned on to support things like this, whether you can afford it or not....

Yes! It's our catchment school though, DD will have to get a bus to school and she will only get a bus provided to go there, plus all her current schoolfriends will be going, so it's really our only option. It is the most sought after school in our area, so we are considered "lucky" to live in the catchment.

part-timer

I have two children now at secondary school one in year 7 and one in year 11. I am in the same boat as you in that we can't afford all the school trips for both of them. However, i do always try and do the day trips (if they want to go, they don't always).

With regard to the week long trips etc they both know that they can do one of these if they want to while they are at secondary school. My son went skiing for 10 days when he was in year 9.

I know there can be a lot of pressure on the kids at school if they don't go but luckily the places on these week long trips are usually very limited they usually only take 30 -40 at my childen's school so not the entire year group and those left behind form the majority and don't feel left out. hth

cocoluvsmummy

Hi the schools my kids go to offer a lot of trips in holiday times, they vary from a weekend away doing "teambuliding" at the start of year 7 (cost approx £70) to a trip to paris and eurodisney (cost £230) , a trip to London ( £180) and then there are the ones that we just don't consider at all.. like a trip to canada or to china because thay are just too expensive. My kids appreiciate that these are just too expensive. The schools offer the option to pay monthly and these trips are arranged well in advance (the london ,and paris ones i will have had 15 months to pay for each of them before they actaully go)

So i would say a "good" school will offer options to you, there will always be some kids that go on everything (DD1 has friends who are signed up to all of them) but she understands that those kids have parents who can afford to pay that and are happy to, she also has friends who have not been on any of the trips and thats equally accepted.

bestpud

She won't be the only one so don't worry about her being left out.

If it were me, I'd do what another poster has said and say one special trip only. They are done so far in advance you could save up and get her to do jobs for the money and/or save too. It will be a good lesson for her.

Or maybe you could get relatives involved and she could get money, or things to take, for birthdays/xmas?

That said though, if it were a place I would be unlikely to take my children (I'm not terribly adventurous with holidays), I'd be quite keen for them to go along for the experience.

I guess it's a case of waiting to see what they come up with once she is there? She may not be in the least bit interested - unlikely, I know, but you never know!