My mother in laws dog

GracieP

Ok, this is going to come across as a bit weird but it is worrying me. My husband and I are think of starting a family soon. We're in the process of selling our house and, touch wood, once that has gone through and we've moved we should be in a good position to have children. (Though we might wait a few months and have a last hedonistic summer.)

But I'm honestly a bit worried about my mother-in-laws dog. It's a horrible little rat creature which has an incredibly nasty streak and is under the impression that she is queen of her little world. She attacks anybody who touches in her presence, as in if my husband puts his arm around me she goes for us. She is especially bad with anybody who touches my husband's mother. She is completely spoiled and is very used to getting her own way, and she can hold a grudge. At Christmas we visited with our dogs and whenever our boys were sleeping far away from her and she thought we weren't paying attention she would run up and bite them.

Since Christmas I've been terrified about what her reaction to a baby would be. Obviously a new baby, who will most likely be the first grandchild, will get a lot of affection, and while I know she'll be put out of the room if she attacks she may attack at some other point later on.

I wouldn't be so worried except for the fact that my husband and I live far away from his parents. So any visit to his parents will mean living with them for at least a week at a time, which is totally different to a visit for an afternoon. I know while we are there it would be suggested repeatedly that we go out for an evening and let them babysit which I'd be happy to do if it wasn't for their dog. And I know my m-i-l will be somewhat upset if we refused to let her babysit.

I know this is stupid, because my husband and I are only at the thinking that we are nearly ready to start trying for a baby stage. So realistically it will be at least a year, maybe two, before this can be a problem. But the dog is honestly putting me off trying for a baby and my husband's sister made a comment along the lines that she wouldn't be having any kids while the dog was alive either.

bagpuss_fan

How old is it now ? and what breed ?

GracieP

bagpuss_fan wrote: »

How old is it now ? and what breed ?

Nobody knows either of those answers. It is some sort of terrier cross but they don't know how old it was when they got it. When I first met her 6 years ago I thought she seemed old, but I honestly don't have a clue.

angchris

dont let this dog put you off having kids, if /when the time comes tell mil you are unsure of her pooch and would she mind keeping it away from baby or stay in a b&b or say you don`t fancy going out.

JennyW_2

A lot came happen over the next 2 years or so I wouldn't be getting stressed about this just yet.

I have 2 dogs and I know my sister-in-law is concerned about them about my one year niece so whenever we get together I put the dogs into another room. With regards to staying over for a week or baby-sitting then you will have to be honest with your MIL and let her know of your worries. Until the "time" arrives, I wouldn't worry.

ameliarate

My dog is lovely natured but for some reason scared of small children and babies so can't be trusted near them. I always put her out of the room if anyone brings one round. You will have to stand firm with your MIL when the time comes and if she refuses then refuse to take the baby.

Good luck with the house and the baby.

SarahLou

I can completely sympathise with you here (will explain more later!) but first things first, as has been said previously, don't let this mutt put you off having kids or at least starting to try for one.

It sounds as though your Mother in Law needs to take action. If she is allowing this sort of behaviour then (sorry to be blunt) but she is at fault. The dog simply (obviously) doesn't know what the hell its meant to do/not meant to do and, so, in that case, although its the dog thats the danger, you can't blame the dog.

Simple but strict training is all thats required with cases like this. All to often (in I'd say 95% of all dog-related issues) are actually owner issues rather than deep-seated dog issues. If this dog received the correct training, I dare say it'd soon learn to change. Obviously not as easy if its already "old" but you can teach an old dog new tricks. Ultimately though, its up to your Mother in Law to see through her spoilt dog and seek professional training advice.

With regards to why I can sympathise with your fears, I have a similar(ish) issue with regards to my future parents in laws. We have three dogs ourselves, all of which are well behaved around us and have never shown an ounce of agression (so not like your situation in that respect). BUT my partners parents who live quite close to us let our dogs get away with everything. They let them jump up, they actively encourage them to jump on the furniture, etc, etc. This is something that we DO NOT allow. But alas dogs soon learn who they can get away with things with and, no matter how well trained our dogs are with us, once they see my partners mum & dad, the switch into complete nutters, jumping up, jumping onto furniture, constantly wanting to play, etc.

If they were my parents I'd get strict with them and tell them to pack it in and to push the dogs down, tell them off, etc. when appropriate but I never like doing that to my partners parents!

When we had our first baby last summer (now 9 months of age), we have actually had to stop taking our dogs around to my future parents-in-laws house for that same reason - we don't trust them with the dogs and our little baby. I witnessed it first hand on just one occasion when my future father in law popped round one day to give me a bit of human company whilst I'm on maternity leave. I had the dogs in at the time and what did he do? He did the exact same thing as they always used to....

"hellooooooo, come up then lass....." *lots of cuddling, etc*
Next thing I know, our cocker spaniel was on OUR settee on my future father-in-laws knee. Wriggling around, scratching at the leather, going absolutely crazy. I shouted at the dog to "GET DOWN!" at which point my future father-in-law reluctantly (very slowly) put her down but was constantly stroking her so obviously she just then kept trying to get up. She then came over to the middle of the settee and jumped up so fast she almost landed on my (then) 6 month old baby.

I couldn't believe it!!

My future father in law could tell how annoyed I was and at that point I had to put the dogs out in the garden as there is just no telling my future parents in laws.

It gets very annoying.

So I can sympathise with you regarding how you go about telling other people to do things with their animals. Its just as difficult when its our own dogs!!

But when it comes to vicious behaviour its not worth the risk. Personally speaking, as and when you get pregnant, I'd maybe just say it bluntly.... "well you can't babysit for us if the dog is in the house at the time".... see how it goes down. It might be blunt enough to get the point across which might be all thats needed for your M-I-L to seek training advice. Which is most definitely overdue.

GracieP

Thanks for all the replies, I was a bit worried people would think I'm crazy to be worrying about it. We have always been so careful with our dogs, when we got them we knew children would be in our future so we have trained them with that in mind. They aren't the slightest bit aggressive and they are excellent with children. We've had friends who have babies and toddlers stay with us lots of times and our dogs are always well behaved. The last toddler we had staying with us used one of our dogs as a step a couple of times and the dog barely acknowledged it. And my parents' dog is the same although he prefers to slink off if children are getting too rowdy.

But the mil's dog is a terror and yes it is more her owners fault than the dogs. Several years ago when we lived near them they went on holiday and we stayed in their house to look after the dog. And she quickly learned that she wasn't to climb on the furniture, beg at the table or snap at people. (I wasn't cruel to her just strict.) But the moment my in-laws came back she completely recognised that my authority ended when her owner was there.

There really is no getting through to my m-i-l though. When we were there at Christmas we kept our dogs in the garden as much as possible, which wasn't ideal as it has no shelter and the weather was terrible. Once when our dogs were in the garden and I was in the kitchen talking to my m-i-l the dogs noticed me through the window and immediately stopped playing happily and sat by the window with sad faces. I laughed at their attempt to manipulate me and made a joke about it to her. She turned all stern and said that I must be careful not to spoil them. I was pretty annoyed at that as while my "spoiled" dogs were in the garden in the drizzle her dog was asleep on the armchair.

SarahLou

Ahhh yes, I know that one too with my future parent-in-laws! They seem to think that our dogs should be in the house 24/7, irrespective of the weather or what I'm doing. As I've said in another post somewhere on this Pets board, I think dogs like to be outside playing around (well, when you've got more than one dog anyway). Our three (being active breeds) spend most of their time outside. Don't get me wrong, they love being in for a cuddle, doze by the telly and a chew on some rawhide but equally they love messing about in the garden, chasing around and sunbathing. When my parent-in-laws started popping round a lot more (they live 20 mins away from us) when I went on Maternity Leave and indeed gave birth to our little bundle of joy last July, they started hinting at maybe having the dogs in more. Yet the didn't seem to grasp that the reason the dogs were out almost every time they were here was because of them! If the dogs had all been in at the same time as my future parent-in-laws being here with a newborn baby it'd have been complete chaos! :eek:

Again though, don't worry about it pre-event. To be really crude about things, if your M-I-M's dog is already getting on in years, y'never know, mother nature may have taken action so her dog may not be an issue at all by the time you've conceived and indeed given birth. Horrible to think of it like that but a fact of life all the same!

If the dog is still around and just as naughty by then, do you think your M-I-M would actually get snotty with you if you didn't allow them to babysit? I'm just thinking that if she did, then that makes things easier really in the short term as you then have grounds to go onto explaining (again!) why you'd not be willing to risk your baby in their house.