Daily Chat:16/4/08

cat4772

Hello everyone

Great news about the jobs folks; hope you all get what you want. Louise brilliant to hear you got yours. Laura - enjoy Lush.

Am 'working' at home and realised that I've not caught up with MSE today - how carp am i?

Have a great evening everyone...

Cat.x

Burlesque_Babe

sigh......my sister just called to say my Nan has been taken into hospital.

Her neighbours noticed the curtains were closed in the day and knocked. No response so police came and broke in. She had had a fall. Blue lighted her into hospital, followed by a 7 hour wait in A+E with my Mum. She's now on a ward but it doesn't sound like a hip/neck of femur break. I'm hopng they will give her a full assessment though.

Unfortunately, she has been 'confused' for quite a while now (to put it mildly) - she is in her late 80s and my Mum went into her house to clear up after the break in and found 63 pints of long life milk hidden away, 2 black bags of empty milk bottles all wrapped in newspaper, 5 open boxes of weetabix going back to 2002 and her bedding hadn't been changed for god knows how long, but my Mum found a huge pile of brand new bedding, sheets and pillowcases, all still in the packets in the spare bedroom.

She is too proud to have any kind of home help etc and my Dad went to her GP a few months back to just ask that she be 'observed' when she next visited her GP, but they refused because she wasn't asking to be assessed and said there was nothing they could do.

My Dad goes to see her once a fortnight and she hadn't let on about the milk - she picks it up from him each week (he is a milkman) and it seems she has just been stockpiling it. She also often thinks her own Mum is still alive - she died 12 years ago

Apparently my Mum was there until midnight last night trying to sort the house out. She also had no hot water. Sigh. I think Mum and Dad are going to pay for a new kind of water heater and also replace the carpet where she fell as it was very thin. They aren't exactly 'made of money' as my Mum would say, in fact they struggle themselves.

I'm hoping the fall means that social services can be involved in some way whilst she is in hospital. She has never let my Dad help (it is his Mum) and she has always been an awkward !!!!!! at the best of times - even since I was a kid, but I think there has been a very brief talk of her moving to a nursing home. If she refuses help at home, I can't see there is another option as she is becoming a danger to herself.

The 'pleasures' of old age............:(

floss2

Aaw hugs Keren...:grouphug:

Hope things improve for you, your mum & dad and your Nan. It's difficult when parents start to need the care they gave us when we were little. When my mum was ill the last time, it was like having another child at times.

I think they shoul contact Age Concern, or the local council about the hot water situation, there is quite possibly a minimum standard of hot water / boiler equipment that she may not have.... is it her own home or rented?

Floss xx

pania

so sorry to hear that keren. It can be extrememly distressing when elderly relatives refuse help. I hope you manage to sort it out soon. Perhaps ask mumand dad to contact age concern, they are usually really very helpful when it comes to situations like this, can sometimes provide cheaper labour to assist in fitting the carpets, loads of advice on sheltered housing (where the person lives an independant life but has a warden nearby and other such things.
How about your mum and dad looking into a "lifeline" pendant for your nan so if she falls again she has an easy way of summoning help.

Hugs at this time.
P
xx

Snaggles

Oh I'm really sorry about your Gran, Keren - it's so hard when they still feel they can be independant, but in actual fact are struggling. It makes me feel so sad. You sound to be a lovely family though and I'm sure you will find a good solution for her. Just don't be fobbed off - sometimes you need to push a bit to get access to services.

Burlesque_Babe

it's her own home, I'll suggest Age Concern to Mum, she is going to call me tomorrow. I think she is knackered today, she was awake until 4 and up again at 8 for work.

Pania - that is a very good idea. Have to say, knowing her as I do, it wouldn't surprise me if she wouldn't wear it - but, nobody knows how long she was there and she didn't know herself.

I'm wondering if I should offer to help with the cost of the water heater and the carpet.

floss2

There may be Council financial help for a new boiler, through the Warmfront scheme. In our council, that department falls into my boss's Directorate, so I will have a quick look at the Poole Council website & dig out the right bits for you.

Burlesque_Babe

she is in Grimsby floss.

Just called the hospital and asked for a message to be passed on but they said she probably wouldn't take it in. It was the Sister on the ward and she was a bit naughty and told me what she was going to have done test wise (although I appreciate her 'naughtyness) , but said there were no breaks, but also no diagnosis until after the scans.

pania

you're nan should be eligible for a grant towards heating and boiler costs etc.
Did she have no hot water through a fault or is she forgetting to switch it on? If not then maybe a timer would help her? also home help maybe? there are carers who will go in twice a week or however often is needed just to have a clean around and a hot meal. I know my nan has a lady go in on mondays and fridays and despite having pride the size of mount everest now really enjoys the extra company.

Right, I have housework to do.... yawn...

cat4772

Keren

Hugs to you hun. It's always a dilemma about care of our relatives and I don't envy you any decisions you need to make. I hope you are able to make the best decision for you and your circumstances (and not get too bogged down with guilt over your decisions).

Cat.x