help with DIY divorce please??

shandella_2

shandella - legally if it is a business debt and you are not a signatory to it, it is not your liability. However, I would expect your husband to argue that the debt was incurred to enable the business to thrive to provide for his family. Thus, it could be seen as reasonable for a portion of that debt to be offset against your side of the settlement. Has your solicitor mentioned a clean break order at all?

oh S**t - i'm a signatory on cheques and can use telephone banking on his behalf but i didn't sign anything with regard to the overdraft.

I don't know how i would be able to find the money to pay him, i can't get a mortgage cos i haven't worked for 4 years (bringing up children) so i wouldn't be able to use the equity in the house.

This is a nightmare - our seperation is only two weeks in and already i want it over and done with. I can't sleep at night for worrying about everything, money, home, children.

bexsmum

Thanks Bossyboots, really appreciate you taking the time to help.

It seemed like I had a straight forward case.... but I may well have to take legal advice for the clean break/consent order/ancillary relief bits even though the actual divorce looks easy enough to sort out.

Thanks again!

loftus

bexsmum wrote: »

My circumstances are as follows, and not sure if this helps but :
He left us 2 years ago today, I wanted a divorce straight away. He "didn't want the stigma of being divorced". I've waited the two years because there is no reason to now stay married - 2 years seperation is a reason on the papers. I'm determined it WILL happen now because he is having a relationship with someone else.

In your case drfclee its up to you - everyone's different. You can do it straight away, and have the paragraph The respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent. or you can wait the two years.... its your's and your OH personal choice

Hi Bexsmum.I take it he now wants the divorce? Because, as you probably know, it's 2 years separation with consent. If he doesn't consent its 5 years!

Bossyboots

shandella wrote: »

shandella - legally if it is a business debt and you are not a signatory to it, it is not your liability. However, I would expect your husband to argue that the debt was incurred to enable the business to thrive to provide for his family. Thus, it could be seen as reasonable for a portion of that debt to be offset against your side of the settlement. Has your solicitor mentioned a clean break order at all?

oh S**t - i'm a signatory on cheques and can use telephone banking on his behalf but i didn't sign anything with regard to the overdraft.

I don't know how i would be able to find the money to pay him, i can't get a mortgage cos i haven't worked for 4 years (bringing up children) so i wouldn't be able to use the equity in the house.

This is a nightmare - our seperation is only two weeks in and already i want it over and done with. I can't sleep at night for worrying about everything, money, home, children.

Don't panic too much. This is one of the areas that definitely doesn't have a single answer.

One solution in this situation is that the husband would take a charge (like a mortgage) over the property for what is decided to be his share and only be paid when one of a list of events happened. This is usually when the youngest ceases full time education, or you cohabit or remarry. If by any chance he was successful in his argument that he shouldn't have to bear the whole business debt (and that in itself is not certain, in fact more likely than not he wouldn't be successful or successful to a large amount) then the shares that each of you are deemed to be entitled to from the property would be shuffled to reflect agreement over the business loan.

This is all open to negotiation and will depend on a number of issues. Simply as an example, have you ever received payment for any work you have done for the business (incluidng signing cheques)? It could end up being quite complicated but equally, you may find it all falls into place. This is why legal advice from your own solicitor who would be able to weigh up all the aspects of your marriage and divorce is essential when it comes to settling the financial issues, even if it is just to case an eye over any agreement you make between yourselves.

shandella_2

Thanks bossyboots for your advice. My husband has now been to see his solicitor and basically they have come up with the idea that as i can't get a mortgage (i haven't worked for four years) that I should sell the house use the whole of the equity, buy a property for £200,000 only have a £30,000 mortgage which will be in his name and in 17 years time he will come and collect. There are no suitable properties in our area for £200,000. Basically it is proeprties which would require massive renovation work - which he says he would do!!!! I don't want him in the house.

The only problem is is that i don't trust him an inch. What if he runs up huge debts (which he has done), gets county court judgements (which he had before he met me) etc etc, can baliffs and the like come and claim on the property i live in because his name is on the mortgage.

We have agreed to go to mediation.

Now our relationship has finally ended I can't beleive i have stayed with him this long!!!!

misswig

shandella wrote: »

Thanks bossyboots for your advice. My husband has now been to see his solicitor and basically they have come up with the idea that as i can't get a mortgage (i haven't worked for four years) that I should sell the house use the whole of the equity, buy a property for £200,000 only have a £30,000 mortgage which will be in his name and in 17 years time he will come and collect. There are no suitable properties in our area for £200,000. Basically it is proeprties which would require massive renovation work - which he says he would do!!!! I don't want him in the house.

The only problem is is that i don't trust him an inch. What if he runs up huge debts (which he has done), gets county court judgements (which he had before he met me) etc etc, can baliffs and the like come and claim on the property i live in because his name is on the mortgage.

We have agreed to go to mediation.

Now our relationship has finally ended I can't beleive i have stayed with him this long!!!!

Your exH is legally entitled to provide a roof over you and your childrens heads until the youngest is 18 (unless you remarry etc etc). You can stay put and take over the mortgage and only when your youngest is 18 do you have to give him his share ion the equity in the house.

Dont agree to anything that he is offering at the moment, it sounds like he is after money and not considrering the best interests for your children. My ex was the same and was more interested in finances and hurting me for leaving him then the welfare of our child.

Good luck, remember if it does have to go throught he courts, you will be eligable for legal aid and if he works, he will have to pay for his fees so it is not in his best interests to drag it out therefore you have the upper hand.

shandella_2

"Dont agree to anything that he is offering at the moment, it sounds like he is after money and not considrering the best interests for your children. My ex was the same and was more interested in finances and hurting me for leaving him then the welfare of our child."

That is exactly what is happening here. He is meant to be moving out on saturday. This morning i asked him for some money to put in the bills account (which is in my name), we have over 20 direct debits going out every month. He said he would try and get me some - i said fine but if i didn't get any money i would have to start cancelling DD's, firstly all the ones relating to his business as i couldn't afford them. He got the right hump and said he wasn't going to be bullied and that now he wasn't going to move out on saturday and i would have to like and lump it for another week.

I hate him.

KDC

Shandella

Try and stay calm if he doesn't move out this Sat. When I told my hubby (ex now) that I wanted to seperate and him to move out it was 3 weeks until I'd found him somewhere to move to and those 3 weeks were pure hell.

Stay strong, don't let him wind you up and make sure you have a good solicitor to sort out the monies.

Thinking of you ........ you can do it.

bexsmum

loftus wrote: »

Hi Bexsmum.I take it he now wants the divorce? Because, as you probably know, it's 2 years separation with consent. If he doesn't consent its 5 years!

Yes, he's agreed to the divorce on two years seperation. Just need to get everything in order and get on with it now.....

Thanks for the advice everyone

PigginSkint

KDC wrote: »

Shandella

Try and stay calm if he doesn't move out this Sat. When I told my hubby (ex now) that I wanted to seperate and him to move out it was 3 weeks until I'd found him somewhere to move to and those 3 weeks were pure hell.

Stay strong, don't let him wind you up and make sure you have a good solicitor to sort out the monies.

Thinking of you ........ you can do it.

I have been reading this thread with interest as I am just about to do my own DIY divorce as it is now just over 5 years since the separation agreement was signed.

Shandella - if you thing 3 weeks was bad, I had to put up with it for 16 months!!