What makes a successful DFW?

jak

I think for me it's abut taking control of my life and finaces and building a better standard of life for my family. The support of here REALLY helps too!Jx

payingfornowt

Around my LBM I had a discussion with my Dad who explained to me how hard it was to start to make big inroads into my debts. I get the feeling without too much prying that he has been on a DMP at some point.

He said that the reason I am in debt is because I spend £110 for every £100 I earn, he explained that to get that to £90 is a very a difficult step. As you not only have to stop an overspend you have to start to under spend.

I am pretty confident at the moment in my methods as most of my spending was extravagance, holidays, clothes, days/meals out. I enjoy my days out more now cause its once a month and I know I can afford it.

I think a lot can be said for simply being aware of what money you have/don’t have.

When I was racking up debt I would not check my bank balance until I got a call saying how much I was overdrawn and asking when I next was paid. I would be charged £150 EVERY month by my bank and I thought this was OK!

Now I know the balance of my current account at all times (£319.22 currently) and I know what I need to pay for from that until next month (petrol, food, 1 night out & 1 day out), as far as I am concerned all my bills are paid (in a different account) and I have even put a bit in savings.

In a word I would say Organisation is the key.

But what would I know I’m just a loser with huge debts!

GirlRacer_2

I must also add something which I forgot to mention on my thread earlier but people on here such as Immoral Angel, Hypno, LookingAhead, Taxi and of course Diz to name but a few are the real success behind DFW. The number of times I've read posts from these people when they've been really up against it has given me the determination to keep going. IA's diay was the first one I started to read on here and she was so focused on becoming debt free, she absolutely amazed me. There are many others that I could mention, but these are the ones that immediately come to mind.

Cleosmum

My lightbulb moment was more of a dimmer switch 18 months, hopefully you know what I mean! I have been hacking away at my debt for 18 months, cut right back food wise, made things stretch further, made weak attempts to sort debt out but fell off the wagon fairly quickly. Didnt take long to dust myself off and run after the wagon, but falling off again wouldnt be far away! In august last year I decided to pull my socks up (as mother would say) and set up some payment arrangements, then in november I sorted a few more out, and then january it hit me full on that lukewarm wasnt working, the money I was saving wasnt paying anything off, it was being used up on god knows what I know I was lukewarm because of depression, but the depression put me in debt by about £7000 and I do kick myself because much of that could have been avoided (didnt apply for housing benefit, used bills money to pay rent, didnt pay bills, ran up huge CT arrears when I was entitled to full CTB etc).

So now I have a saved snowball, a grocery limit which is now stuck to, we eat from home, rather than getting a takeaway, we walk more, I check banking daily, I have an up to date SOA which I refer to, a spreadsheet with all my debts in it and I know exactly how much is left to go each week. The spreadsheet also shows 2 months ahead and I look at that firgure and think "wow, how good does that look!". Motivation wise - I post on the small DFW thread, it keeps me focussed, grocery challenge keeps me focussed, ebay challenge/£10 a day challenge help me focus on money saving and decluttering. Having figures in my signature helps a great deal, it is there everytime I post, no getting away from it. MSE and the extra support was just what I needed. I need to be debt free, I need to be able to enjoy life with the kids without thinking I shouldnt be spending on treats when I have debts to pay, I need to buy my own home, not going to happen with my current debts and credit rating!

So, anyway, the old me would have made excuses, but now I am so focussed, I have to give it my all, nothing else will do

moanymoany

4littleone wrote: »

I've got a diary on here (that no one else ever posts on! thanks) and i have had the odd "falling off the wagon" moment, but i think it's grossly unfair to say that people who fail occasionally are using excuses.
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4litleone, The second example I put on the first post was the end of a spectrum which goes from living on bread and water to pay the debt to those who really do nothing and often even increase their debt. There are not very many of those, but I've certainly seen two that stick out in my mind. These are the posters who frequently use excuses.

What I didn't mean was what you describe, people who sometimes 'fall of the ladder' - don't we all whether it's spending, eating too much or buying takeaways more than we have said we would? I aim for 80% success for my targets. This gives me enough wriggle room to buy some new jeans or a new top from time to time. It means that I don't feel so despondent that I don't think it's worth going on at the same rate.

I think that the vast majority of posters do amazing things to pay their debts. I was interested in just what kept them on track, motivated to get out from under. The challenges are simply fantastic and although I try to live on £4,000 a year I haven't signed up because I don't make it!

I also think that the fight back gives people skills that will transform their post debt lives - if I can do that, what else can I do?

Gemmzie

Great thread, one for the newsletter for sure

For us, being DFW was necessary not an option, it was finally admitted that cards were maxed, they had over consolidated and we were at risk of losing everything. So we went at it hard and eventually I sorted a self-managed DMP for my father's debts and help my mother clear hers (so proud of her, she had £3k left over from a loan and we managed to use it to clear £7k in credit cards!).

We haven't given up everything because we don't have a lot to give up, but we've found a balance (nearly!!) where the bills can be paid and we can relax about the debts a bit. They aren't nagging us and a headache any more. Like Jacs, I dealt with the hard, sorting things out, early stages much better. I'm a bit bored with it plodding along, so love this board and its challenges to keep us going.
My next target is to save £1.7k by September, then to save for an actual family holiday paid purely through other income, overtime, Ebay etc. because even though we are dedicated to clearing the debt. We've got lives to live in the meantime.

4littleone

Hi Moany,

sorry, reading back through my post it sounds fairly chippy. Oh the wonders of the written word!
I think the questions you're asking are the right ones and i agree about the small minority who want an easy painless solution rather than the more realistic slog.
I like the idea of an 80% target. I do think that sometimes we fall off the wagon simply because we are trying too hard to be perfect in our approach to being debt free.
The last month certainly taught me that i may sometimes get it wrong, but at least now i know where i've gone wrong and how to put it right. 12 months ago i wouldn't have even had a clue that my approach was so damaging for my future. I just wish i'd seen that before i managed to ruin my credit rating and spend years stressing.

Keeping_Positive

I feel I am still learning and the added pressures of other things in life including my darn hormones do seem to make things hard at times. I go from great days to bad days and what takes so long to acheive on a good day can be undone so easily on a bad.

People have different things to contend with ie OH that dont always agree with the DF idea. One will do all out the other not interested.

For long haulers its harder to cut back for a longer period so smaller steps are easier to maintain. If I knew that if I was really careful for a year then I would probably up my game but that fact that I have six chich would take quite alot to get down significantly I dont want to give up so much. I want my children to respect money but still enjoy life. I dont want them to go without reasonable things.

Lovella

I'm kept motivated by thinking about how I racked up so many debts with absolutely nothing to show for it - I still don't know! I now put it down to horrendously bad money management and an immature attitude. I also stay focussed by looking forward to the day that I become debt-free and I can finally start enjoying the money that I work so hard for.

I haven't quite sold all my possesions and I'm not trying to live on 20p a year, but I have realised that it's OK to say 'I can't afford it', and the importance of knowing where every penny goes. I've also learnt the joys of ebaying. If it hasn't been used or worn in 6 months, it's straight to ebay. :rotfl:

Jacks_xxx

wendy24g wrote: »

. I want my children to respect money but still enjoy life. I dont want them to go without reasonable things.

I really agree with you there honey.

One of the things that stops me going completely frugal-tastic is that I think it would be terribly unfair to impose some kind of unnecessary poverty on the kids because of *our* debts and financial goals.

Maybe it's because we had so little money growing up, we didn't even bother to ask for things because we knew we couldn't have them. I wouldn't want my kids to feel that way.

I wore the same school skirt from age 11 to age 16, and I can remember being surprised when my mum took me to the market and bought me a coat, cos I hadn't had one for years. I'd been wearing my dad's old council donkey jacket if it was really cold

Anyway, I'll be talking about living in t'cardboard box in't middle o't road next if I don't go and do some work!

Love Jacks xxx