What makes a successful DFW?

Broken_hearted

I find the challenges help break down the monotony of paying the debt back. Each target boosts your confidence and the £10 a day challenge makes you look at how you can improve your income.
Realising that you will slip up a few times along the a bit like having cake when on a diet, it doesn't mean you have to have another slice later, you just start again.

ginormousflares

If I may digress ever so slightly and talk about this Forum; not MSE but DFW. It is without doubt a unique site that brings together many different people from so many different walks of life but all with one thing in common; debt and the longing to be debt free. This forum very rarely gets ignorant posters and when it does the people rally round and the support that I have seen from many years of lurking is second to none. Personally I have changed the way I look at money and how I spend it and although I have now paid off over 18K, I have done well but have 29K to go. It does feel like something of a blind summit for me; get to the top of a huge hill thinking thats it Ive made it only to see as i reach the top another rather large hill pan out in front of me to be conqurered and its the people, the advice and the banter on here that drives me on. I know I dont post a lot and have only recently joined but I have been here reading and heeding the advice doled out on here. So to get back to the OP's subject 'What makes DFW so special?' well there is only one answer isnt there; The People. GF

Jacks_xxx

:wave:I think realism, commitment and focus are important qualities for a DFW, but mainly I think the freedom to find your own DFW way without being tied to a DFW dogma of how it *should* be done is the key to success.

The hardest thing for me to get my head round was that money is a finite resource. I can't afford all the things I want, which is why I am in debt - and from now on if I want A I would have to give up B and C . or maybe D E and F.

Inevitably we're all going to have different priorities, and we all arrive at DFW with different incomes, and levels of debt- so the measures necessary for some of us might not be appropriate for others.

We've got different personalities as well. I'm a "gung ho, attack it hard, kick the @r$e out of it and get it over with as soon as possible" type (so long as I don't have to give up having nice hair! ) And I've discovered that I'm better at aiming *up* to an earnings target than keeping *down* to a spending one.

At the end of the day if my roof needs repairing, or my DD needs new shoes then I'm going to spend whatever money is necessary - and if it's all about low spending targets then I'm going to feel like a failure

But, if I then go into overdrive and earn enough extra money so that we can still make the debt repayment as usual despite the unscheduled expenditure then I'm not a failure am I?

Or at least that's how it works for me.

I'm better at the active phase of debt busting (Selling everything that's not nailed down, negotiating with creditors, BT-ing like crazy, switching all the bills, etc) rather than the plodding stage where you've already made all the changes and it's just a case of carrying on like this until your DFD.

I understand why people don't give up their cars / mobiles / gym memberships / hobbies or whatever else it is that seems to jump out of their SOA at me as "unnecessary".

For some people it's feasible that if they cut back hard they could get things well under control in a year or less , but for most of us it's going to take years or even decades - and we won't manage to keep it up if we're sentenced to several years unremitting hard labour with no time off for good behaviour.

Some semblance of "normal" life, a support network, and some regular rewards and treats are necessary for the long haul in my opinion.

And while I'm "on one" can I also mention that I find holier than thou posts real turn off. I read one on Old Style the other day that made me think "I SO don't belong here! I have nothing in common with these particular couple of people." I don't like it when people are less than friendly to newbies either.

Ok, that's all off my chest....I'd better go and do some work now!

Love Jacks xxx

coops024

Kevicho wrote: »

I think the thing that does make a successful DFW is learning,

I think this hits the nail on the head as to what makes a DFW successfull

For me personally my LBM was a stark realisation that the way I was living couldnt continue and I had to learn how to take control and what it ment to my life.

We have all seen DFW's come and go, some reach their goal and some slip back into old habbits but I think those that truly learn the difference between 'Need' and 'Want' tend to be more successful

I used to be able to convince myself everything I bought was a 'Need' I'd buy a DVD because I'd justify that it was cheaper than going to the cinema .. true but i couldnt afford to do either

I'd tel myself that consolidation was the way forward because it would free up extra money per month that i would use to pay other debts quicker :wall:

But learning and understanding myself waswhat really opened my eyes ... I cant believe I was so stupid :mad:

Mrs._Irwin

Jacks_xxx wrote: »

And while I'm "on one" can I also mention that I find holier than thou posts real turn off. I read one on Old Style the other day that made me think "I SO don't belong here! I have nothing in common with these particular couple of people."

It wasn't the 'Old Style satisfaction' thread was it, Jacks? Because if it was, I'll admit that I was feeling very smug when I posted on it.

That makes me think of another thing that all us DFWs might have differing approaches to. For some people they 'do Old Style' in order to save money. And for some people they 'do Old Style' and it saves them money. For me, cooking from scratch is an end in itself and the fact it saves me money is an added bonus. Other people like to be in control and have fallen in love with their spreadsheets (I need to work on this area!) One of the great things about this site is that we can learn from each other, and adapt what works for us.

Mrs. Irwin
xx

Lorne

What a great idea for a thread!

For me it is realising that I've made some pretty shocking money decisions, lived beyond my means and that I've not got much to show for it. Understanding that banks are not my friends and will try to make money from me has made me determined to prevent that from happening!

Jacks_xxx

Mrs._Irwin wrote: »

It wasn't the 'Old Style satisfaction' thread was it, Jacks? Because if it was, I'll admit that I was feeling very smug when I posted on it.

That makes me think of another thing that all us DFWs might have differing approaches to. For some people they 'do Old Style' in order to save money. And for some people they 'do Old Style' and it saves them money. For me, cooking from scratch is an end in itself and the fact it saves me money is an added bonus. Other people like to be in control and have fallen in love with their spreadsheets (I need to work on this area!) One of the great things about this site is that we can learn from each other, and adapt what works for us.

Mrs. Irwin
xx

Nah... it was the Meals for 50p "how on earth can people possibly spend more than £50 a week for a family of four????!!! :eek:

They must only eat ready meals, and be obese" posts.

I like Old Style cos I'm a rubbish cook and I'm learning so much over there but more frugal than thou posts like that make me feel unwelcome to be honest.

Anyway, bless you for responding. I'm off to OS now to see exactly *how* smug you were on the Old Style Satisfaction thread. and probably be a little bit smug myself! :rolleyes:

Love Jacks xxx

moanymoany

Jacks_xxx wrote: »

Nah... it was the Meals for 50p "how on earth can people possibly spend more than £50 a week for a family of four????!!! :eek:

They must only eat ready meals, and be obese" posts.

I like Old Style cos I'm a rubbish cook and I'm learning so much over there but more frugal than thou posts like that make me feel unwelcome to be honest.

Anyway, bless you for responding. I'm off to OS now to see exactly *how* smug you were on the Old Style Satisfaction thread. and probably be a little bit smug myself! :rolleyes:

Love Jacks xxx

Read the 'Confessions of a very tired old styler' Jacks. It made me laugh! I felt much better when I saw which thread it was because I haven't posted on there.

If we HAD to feed our family of four on 50p because it was all we had in our purse, I'm sure we could all do it - what choice would there be?

I haven't made home made washing powder, or dishwasher powder either, and I don't intend to. Phew, thanks for that, I'd forgotten to put vaalue washing powder on my internet order. Got £9 off this time - with a code from here.

4littleone

I think a DFW is simply anyone who takes steps and genuinely wants to become debt free and manage their finances sensibly.
I've got a diary on here (that no one else ever posts on! thanks) and i have had the odd "falling off the wagon" moment, but i think it's grossly unfair to say that people who fail occasionally are using excuses.
I think we all need to remember that life has a funny habit of thowing things at you unexpectedly. As long as for the majority of the time we do our best i can't see what the problem is.
Also, i think it's wise to remember that not everyone can create a huge amount of surplus cash to pay off debts each month. Some people can DFW all they can but will still only be able to reduce the debt slowly. It's all down to personal circumstances in my opinion.

redsquirrel80

I think what makes a successful DFW is finding out the way of doing it that suits you. Whether that's cutting back on everything 'unecessary' and paying off your debts as fast as possible, or the slower and less drastic route of just applying some of the principles - making some cut backs, discovering ways to make some extra money, going without some things because you really want something else. I think the most important thing is that practically everyone on this forum has made changes - either stopping spending before debts got out of hand, and/ or starting to pay debts that they'd been hiding from.