"Thevinternet's still in debt" diary

thevinternet

So - it's the start of a new week! I need to move things up a gear, so I have written out a new timetable to try and stick to each day. This is to prevent me from taking the easy way out and procrastinating, and to hopefully knuckle down with making some positive changes in my life.

I have not been spending wildly or anything (in fact, most days are NSDs now), but I feel that things are slowly slipping out of control again. I've noticed a few little habits creeping back, such as not being as tidy around the house or not eating my five-a-day. It may not seem like much, but they indicate that my self-discipline 'muscle' (as I like to think of it) is once again wasting away from lack of use.

God, it's exhausting being my own worst enemy sometimes! I wish I had more self-control - those people don't know how lucky they are. Well, 'lucky' is the wrong word, but you know what I mean. They get to live on an even keel, whereas I always feel that I have been see-sawing between self-control and reckless abandon for the last 14 years.

It's been a fun ride at times, I admit, but it means I don't trust myself very much.

Legion90

Hey,

Just to say I like reading your diary and to keep up the hard debt busting! Have you tried contacting lloyds to see if they can let you off with the £25 as you have made an effort? Might be worth a try!

Good luck

thevinternet

Legion90 wrote: »

Hey,

Just to say I like reading your diary and to keep up the hard debt busting! Have you tried contacting lloyds to see if they can let you off with the £25 as you have made an effort? Might be worth a try!

Good luck

Thank you for those comments, that's cheered me reet up! You are right, I should contact Lloyds TSB. I am always scared though that if you admit to financial difficulties down the phone to one of these companies, that it sets off some kind of crazy alarm that will trigger interest hikes and a wave of panicky phone calls from them! Can anyone confirm if this is true or not? I've never trusted those 'contact us if you are in financial difficulties' messages on the statements, perhaps I have been wrong to think that way?

I'll admit it's partially pride too...I got myself into this mess and I feel determined to get myself out of it....but we all know what pride comes before, right?

On a more positive note, I may have a possible tax rebate on the way! It's just a couple of hundred, but that would make a big difference at the moment; it would take the pressure off a bit. I have heard that HMRC have had a few problems recently though, so I will only trust that decision once I have a cheque in my hand!

Now, for some news on the soul-searching front. I've started making a list of things that make me happy, in a bid to sort out my self-destructive habits once and for all. I have a personality that tends towards mild depression at times, and it is during these periods that my spending etc seems to get out of control. Therefore my theory goes that if I can keep myself happy, those shoes off Ebay/daily Starbucks coffees/copies of Vogue/unused gym memberships won't seem so tempting. Yes, the craziest financial confession you may ever hear on MSE is that in 2005 I was a contracted member of TWO gyms, neither of which I attended more than about twice. :rotfl:I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help but find my previously idiotic behaviour funny....WTH was I thinking?!

Anyway....so far the list goes like this:

THINGS THAT MAKE THEVINTERNET HAPPY:

1. Exercising (particularly dance) and being at a slightly lower weight than I am now

2. Eating my 5-a-day and bizarrely, including lots of fish in my diet.

3. Playing my guitar

4. Learning something new everyday, whether that be a new word, a new language, a new fact etc

5. Reading. It makes me calm but also happy when I'm enjoying a good book.

There we are - a short list so far, but hopefully by incorporating some of these activities into my daily routine, I will improve my chances of staying out of debt in the future. I've been in debt for so long now that I can't even remember how it feels to not have to be paying CC bills each month....I can't wait for the distant day when my money is my own once more.

chevalier

thevinternet wrote: »

THINGS THAT MAKE THEVINTERNET HAPPY:

1. Exercising (particularly dance) and being at a slightly lower weight than I am now Yep me too, only it would be about a stone to lose

2. Eating my 5-a-day and bizarrely, including lots of fish in my diet.I should do this more, but OH doesn't really like fish much

3. Playing my guitar nice one. Can't play an instrument any more but I like knitting. Keeps my hands busy

4. Learning something new everyday, whether that be a new word, a new language, a new fact etc I am also doing this. I live overseas so lots of opportunities for this

5. Reading. It makes me calm but also happy when I'm enjoying a good book. My fave thing to do really. I could read books all day if I had the time!

I think you are doing pretty well overall. Keep staying on here, and those debts will soon be gone. Have you looked at Loquax for competitions that are free to enter?
chev

thevinternet

chevalier wrote: »

I think you are doing pretty well overall. Keep staying on here, and those debts will soon be gone. Have you looked at Loquax for competitions that are free to enter?
chev

Thanks for that. I am determined to stay on here now, I had an absence of about 18 months at one point and it did me no good whatsoever.

Is Loquax a website? There are a lot of competitions listed on here too - I have stopped comping for the meantime but I aim to start again this week, now I've had a bit of a break

chevalier

Yes loquax is a website. You have to register (free) but then it aggragates competitions by end date so you can do all the ones finishing tomorrow, or the 12th or whatever... I too was one of those who never won anything. On the other hand you definitely win nothing if you don't enter. I think others are entering so many comps in a short time because they use roboform. I was never brave enough to try it though.
chev

Dinah93

I used to use Loquax but moved over here as the format is easier as it gives you a direct link or the answer most of the time! I also use roboform and have done for about 4 years, it's completely safe.

thevinternet

Dinah93 wrote: »

I used to use Loquax but moved over here as the format is easier as it gives you a direct link or the answer most of the time! I also use roboform and have done for about 4 years, it's completely safe.

I don't know if I need Roboform, I use Google Chrome, and it seems to fill in most of the form for me anyway!

So...a testing couple of days. Many things around the house have broken, meaning that I will have to spend about a quarter of that tax rebate I received on repairs. Never mind, I've still received some unexpected cash, so that's great! It's just annoying how everything seems to break at once! :mad:

My OH was stressing out about cash last night, and I must admit we had a small row about it. He seems to prioritise the strangest things (gym membership he never uses, fancy phone with expensive contract, nights out with mates) and then wonders why his CC bills aren't coming down. I feel like his lightbulb is sort of flickering on at the moment, but it's definitely not an energy-saving one .

I don't like preaching at him, because at the end of the day I'm in debt too, and I used to make all the same mistakes he used to. It feels like an ex-smoker preaching at smokers, apparently nothing is more annoying?

Oh well - we have made up now. All I can do is try to carry on lowering my own debts I suppose. He has been a massive support to me over the years and I'm very grateful, it's just difficult when someone can't see the wood for the trees, you know?

Applied for a job today - also going to start a slow cooker meal in a few minutes. Getting my sleeping patterns back on track too which also feels good.

thevinternet

Me and the OH all good tonight. I made slow cooker curry in the end and we both enjoyed it muchly over old repeats of Catchphrase
"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" I live a rock'n'roll lifestyle, me!

So, the plan for the weekend is as follows:

1. Got a shift at the restaurant tonight, my first one for ages so I'll grin and bear my irritating boss to get through it.

2. Free ebay listing this weekend for items over £1, so I'm gonna get listing!

3. Start making Christmas presents

The only thing that is scuppering a lot of my plans at the moment is my insomnia....it is back with a vengeance. I woke up at 3.15am this morning :mad: laid in bed for an hour before giving in and getting up...I know I'm going to be exhausted later and will probably end up having another couple of hours in bed. I seem to have lost the ability to sleep 8 hours in a row...most annoying, it means I am walking around like a grumpy zombie most of the time.

thevinternet

Urgh, sorry to moan on but I felt really unwell at work tonight, plus my boss was getting on my wick. Gonna start looking round I reckon, I can't go on like this, she's doing my nut in.

Recovering from work with a cup of tea and X-factor. Bliss.