Depression Support Thread

rose07

Tibbie's_mum wrote: »

Many thanks for your reply and warm welcome.

I am under the GP and am suppose to be on medication, but I tend not to take it. It's not because I don't like being on them, it's more of a punishment as I don't think I deserve to get better, which is actually more unfair on my family than myself.

I do set goals, baby step ones, as that's all I can cope with. Unfortunately my OH first knew me when I was in a responsible job, in fact, I was his boss and was quite dynamic back then. So, although he is wonderful, he finds it difficult to understand me now, so he doesn't appreciate my baby step achievements.


However, I did have quite a good day. All my kids got fed, managed to walk to school to collect my eldest and a small amount of clutter has been cleared from the kitchen floor, so yay me :j

Hi Tibbies mum

how r u today?

Its good you are getting out and about hun :T

And hun, you do deserve to take your medication if you want to, have you been back to see your GP does he know you dont take your meds? You dont deserve to suffer hun

Ahh baby steps are great something Tiff taught me lol. One thing at a time, break everything down, and take it one step at a time, very slowly.

Is your OH supportive? Have you spoke to him?

well done hun

take care and keep talking

xx

gillette147

slowlyfading wrote: »

why do i just feel so ignored all the time? meh.

You aren't ignored....you are loved girlie.
I always look out for your posts.
Take care
xxx

rose07

Tiff wrote: »

Hi guys!:hello:
Rise and shine my little Tifflings! This is your friendly Tiffy alarm call - all part of the service, folks.

rose - hi hun - lol - no, you don't need to get the wellies out for me angel. I just thought that you must need a new pair right now with all the walking you've been doing lately. (to our new friends - this goes back to our thread's 2nd home - aaah, those were the days!) Take care hun - good luck with the job hunting.




I'll catch up with you all later on guys. Look after yourselves and safe journeys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Hi hun

how r u?

My Tiff radar is bleeping, where the part 8 ? ,maybe i do need those wellies

I go to the gym 5 times a week too lol but yeah a bust rosie atm

is that you in a wheelchair in a few years time hun, only joking


take care

xxx

slowlyfading

meyore wrote: »

Sorry if I ever make you feel that way, I don't mean to... I feel like that sometimes too
Are you ok?

No no, its not you. Are you okay? I'm... alright. x

slowlyfading

rose07 wrote: »

aww hun (((((((hugs))))))

are you ok? xx

hm.. i'm alright. you? x

meyore

slowlyfading wrote: »

No no, its not you. Are you okay? I'm... alright. x

Good, I don't ever set out to offend, but I still manage sometimes. Whats going on, if you want to talk?

Xx

slowlyfading

gillette147 wrote: »

You aren't ignored....you are loved girlie.
I always look out for your posts.
Take care
xxx

Thanks sweetie you okay? xx

slowlyfading

meyore wrote: »

Good, I don't ever set out to offend, but I still manage sometimes. Whats going on, if you want to talk?

Xx

No no, you're always lovely to me. It sjust that, I think I'm the most boring person alive. I have nothing exciting about me, at all. :wall:

gillette147

slowlyfading wrote: »

No no, you're always lovely to me. It sjust that, I think I'm the most boring person alive. I have nothing exciting about me, at all. :wall:

^^^^^^^^^^
!!!!!RUBBISH!!!!!

I'm feeling better at mo thanks.
The sun helps.
Ta
x

LadyMorticia

Lady M

Hi hun

How are you feeling today?:)

Hello.
I'm okay. I'm ebaying at the moment.lol. How are you?

Just want to say your artwork is brilliant hun, :Tyou really do have raw talent, you are a precious thing. Maybe I will show you some of my artwork sometime.

Thank you. I'd love to see some of your art.

I thought emotional and mental abuse is the same, that’s why me didn’t put mental abuse, but I guess emotional abuse fcuks up the mental mind, sooo in effect its all related/connected in some way.

I know what you mean hun, I still think im only good for one thing, abuse. Its almost like it doesn’t matter how much counscelling or psychiatrists you get, people always seem to be able to pick out those who are vulnerable. Something im still trying to figure out. But hun, you have a lot to give it shows in your art work and your posts, in no way do you deserve the abuse you got, and you are not only good for one thing, you will get through this.

I've had extensive CBT and CAT to help me deal with the feelings. Also had two CPNS, two therapists and 2 counsellors and numerous amounts of consultants. Not one has been able to help me shrug off these feelings. I know it's me who has to do the work, and I do, or at least try to everyday but sometimes it just feels like I'm struggling up a massive hill with numerous amounts of bricks on my back that keep stopping me from being able to make it, if that makes sense? I'm really not any good at this analogy thing. I'm determined not to give up though. I'm a stubborn person.lol.
Thank you for your kind words. [[hugs]]

Ohh well done you on your GCSEs :TI think that’s a great achievement, I went thru a similair thing, I was bullied all the way through school. But I kept buried in my studies like you, and fair nuff I didn’t get great grades, they were mostly Ds, so I went to college to resit my GCSEs and got better ones, which help me to do a National Diploma in Multimedia, which in turn helped me to get into Uni, and achieve m 2:1 grade, so ya see hun, anything is possible.

I only got 4 GCSEs A-C. The rest were Ds but it makes me sound more intelligent to say I got 9 A-D.lol. I was predicted an A* in RS but got a B in the end, which i cried endlessly (or what seemed like endlessly) about as RS was my best subject. I got A*s in my coursework though so at least that's something. My exams were a very stressful time though - both at school and at home and I'm not good under pressure. I'm much better at coursework because I like to be concise and like to take the time to make things perfect. I was told by the 6th form head that I was too "stupid" to do A levels - in those exact words. So I just went and did them somewhere else. I did A level RS, Sociology and Health and Social Care, and because of stress again got bad grades. I did get a C in the Philosophy exam of RS so that's something I guess. I used to want to be an RS teacher. Still do, actually. When I get a bit better I want to do retake my GCSEs at home as I can work at my own pace and won't be kicked off the course if my attendance is low due to my anxiety. I study by myself a lot of the time though. I download the GCSE syllabuses from the exam boards website and then research on the net. I can't afford to do a home course so I like to think that if I eventually can then I will be able to use the things I've researched against the course. Yep, anything is possible!

I think with your mum, yeah, sometimes people don’t like to see others happy, because for some sick reason they get off on other peoples pain and creating it. Maybe your mum needs to think about what it is she needs. But least you got your grades hun, this will set you well for the future.

Yeah. I don't understand any of my family really, or their motives, but I'm determined not to turn into her. One of my friends said to me that all people who have been abused will abuse any children they have. That really peeved me off because it's not true. In some cases it may be, but most people who have been abused know what it feels like and wouldn't want to put anyone else through it.

And hun, there is noo way your stupid, I thought that too, then I had learning tests done, and found out I had dyslexia, and few other learning difficulties, but im fine with that now, coz I know where im at with it. But your def not stupid, your talented, creative but in no way are you stupid ok?

I have a few friends who are dyslexic and people thought they were stupid and bullied them, but dyslexia doesn't mean someone is stupid. It just means they have problems with reading and writing. Some of the most intelligent people I know are dyslexic. From reading your posts and the lovely presence you give off, I think you are very intelligent and in no way stupid.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope that one day I will believe in myself more.

Awww Patchy sounds like my Holly, shes been with me since I was 11 , always been my protector, and always been good for hugs. Do you have any other pets? We used to have a goat, and a cat but they died.

No pets at the moment. Patchy was taken away by the council because my mum and dad didn't train her properly and she used to poop on people's doormats in the block of flats. We had a cat called Pepsi, but she ran away. Then we had Closo. I loved Closo but she was maltreated and got very skinny and had flea bites all over her. She died of a heart attack a couple of years ago. I miss her. My friend Nikki says that if I do well at my ED appointment then she is going to take me to Wood Green to get a cat. I love animals. It feels weird not having a cat about the place. I'm such a cat lover. I get so sad when animals die. Was it interesting having a goat? My foster sister had a hamster called Erton. He got stuck in the dishwasher once, and survived. :eek:

Do you feel safe where you are now, are you away from your parents? I definitely agree with you, a child needs love and support, not abuse and neglect, a baby can have all the food in the world, but if it doesn’t have love and something to hold, it will just feel low, like it is alone. We all need stability which can be in any form, but I think emotional stability is a very important thing.

I feel safer because I live away from my family. They live about 30 miles away but their not the sort of people to hop on a train to come over unannounced thankfully. My nan occasionally sends me money. I'm not sure why. =/ It doesn't change anything. =/ They only got my address because I thought I could trust my cousin not to give it to them...and of course I couldn't. He's in care too. My auntie was also in care, and my half sister was adopted aged 8. My family is screwed up.lol. I feel safer but I get so scared sometimes. Any noises and I'm almost jumping out of my skin. If someone knocks at the door I jump, and get panicky. I sometimes worry that I'll be in a situation like when I was a child again. My ex put me in a situation like that.

Its not your fault, its not your fault, its not your fault, is it getting in yet lol. I really understand this, I blame myself constantly, for the abuse I got, for the things I witnessed , for not doing certain things like stepping in, but I, like you, was only a child, we weren’t to know hun, there is someone tryna drum this into my head atm, it might just get there if they say it enough. Soo hard when we are used to being blamed, used to being told it is our faults, and no matter what we do blame ourselves. And I like you, never take my own advice lol

Lol. On good days, I try to reason with myself, on bad days I can't even try. I don't think I'll ever shrug this feeling off either. I think for me it's just a case of trying to put it to the back of mind (even though that is sometimes one of the hardest things to do. ). We'll both get there in the end.

I believe you will get there hun, you have came through all you have been through, which shows you are strong, you are still here and have something worth fighting for, just believe it hun

Remember you are special :A

Much love and huggles
xxx

I'm too stubborn to give up. [[hugs]] Thank you for all of your kind words and support over the past few days. It really does mean a lot to me.

Many hugs and sparkly love
xx