My 3 year old son wants to keep wearing his nappies!

LavenderLily_2

I'd love some help on this one as I'm stumped.

My son has just turned 3. He is still wearing nappies despite my many attempts to get him out of them. I have tried bribing him with treats to use the potty, lots of praise, telling him he's a 'big boy' now etc but nothing helps. He just ends up wetting himself. He will use the potty on occasion but it's sporadic.

I just bought him a special book for boys about using a potty and it's got stickers in so I thought that would help. However, he just clearly tells me, "No, I want to wear my nappy".

I managed to get him out of the nappy this morning and kept asking him if he needed the potty and he kept saying 'no'. In the end he wet himself and I'm ashamed to say I told him off :-( I felt really bad afterwards and apologised (I'm going through an early miscarriage right now so I'm a bit emotional and didn't mean to react so badly).

I just don't know what to do. Anyone got some suggestions? I'd be so grateful. He's starting pre-school in just over a week and while they know he's not potty trained, I'm a bit embarrassed because he's three years old and I feel he should be by now.

Many thanks.

izoomzoom

Hiya

:grouphug: about your MC, and potty training is probably not the best thing for you to be doing right now.

Personally I would just leave him in his nappy, and when he starts preschool next week, perhaps he will 'see' all the other big boys and girls go to the toilet / potty and it will spur him on. Perhaps you can go together and get some really smashing undies, and if that doesn't work, just send in those to the nursery and say they don't send nappies back

Hard I know, but nothing but positives and praise is going to get you both through this.

hannahsmummy1

Hey- dont be so hard on yourself, your going through a pretty touch time at the moment and as izoomzoom says its probably not the best idea to do potty training at the moment. My daughter was really lazy when i first started training her, it was mostly because she would rather be playing than tell me when she needed to go, despite asking her all the time! She wasnt a fan of the potty either, so we went straight to the toilet- i did all the usual things, sticker chart (with a promise of a treat if she went the whole day with dry pants) lots of praise, telling her she was a big girl. Lots of patience and persistance, & remember its not a race- every child is different!

matty17r

My mum's has been a childminder for 18 years. Please do not worry about your little boy not wanting to take his nappy off! Mum has had little boys and girls that are nearly four and still not ready. Just continue to praise him when he does wee on potty or toilet - trust me one day soon it will just click.
Best of luck.

cheeks

I can completely sympathise with you, my son was the laziest toileter ever! Often had accidents at playschool, they were fine about it tho so don't worry, playschool staff are used to it! I was told that having potty trained friends round to play may spur him on, but that didn't work. Sticker charts didn't work, and leaving him in wet clothes bothered me more than him. He was still having accidents during the summer before he started school, i was dreading him wetting at school, but it was fine in the end. He is 5and a half now and has only just become dry at night in the last week! Its little comfort to you at the moment but he will get there, we all take different amounts of time doing different things. Its nothing to do with intelligence, its just a physical thing. You could try pull-ups or little-walkers, then if he does fancy going on the potty its easier to get it on and off than a nappy. Just give yourself a break, youve got enough on your plate at the moment, try again in a few weeks when your feeling a little more positive x

pukkamum

I know it seems a bit harsh but i would start putting his undies on, if you can! And if he wets don't change them immediately leave him in wet pants for a while that way he will feel how uncomfortable it is and start asking for the toilet. As the other poster said it may be you bypass the potty and use the big toilet, perhaps giving him a choice of EITHER potty or toilet. Other than that i would say don't worry, when he gets to nursery he will see all the other boys and girls using the loo and it may spur him on, especially if you make a point of saying how big and clever the other boys and girls are for using the toilet. I know it is hard but you really need to not shout at him for wetting as you don't want to turn the whole toilet thing into a major issue with him. Good luck HTH

Millie's_Mum

My DD was not potty trained until she was well over 3, her behaviour was a lot like your sons and I gave up trying to 'train' her, this really worked for her and one day she just said I don't want to wear nappies anymore, and we were away.

Are you sure he is ready? I know you are feeling that 3 is too old for nappies but we are all different, and I know a lot of mums who thought it was terrible my DD was still in nappies but when you actually talked to them their kid was out of nappies but having a lot of accidents whereas my DD was 'late' out of nappies but it is incredibly rare that she has an accident.

Have you tried leaving the nappy on but asking if he wants to go to the toilet when you go? I know my DD hated the potty with a passion but was fine when she used the loo.

Bonaventure_babes

Hi LavenderLily
Im sorry to hear about the sad time you are going through at the minute.
I work in a pre school and you would be amazed at the amount of children who start with us wearing nappies.What then happens is that the nappy wearer sees all the other children going to the toilet themselves and wants to be like them and so very quickly comes out of nappies.

Dont worry about accidents...just send a change of clothes every day.

Most children who have been trained ages will wet themselves at some stage when playing in the water.
I would forget about potty and just get him to use the toilet if he wants.

Fen1

Have you tried putting undies on INSIDE his nappy? That way, if he wets himself he will actually feel it, but without the mess of an accident.

The problem with modern nappies is that they are too good. In a terry cloth babies and toddlers feel everything immediately so there's an incentive to go to the potty which doesn't happen with super-absorbant diapers.

He might be, very understandably, concerned about going out of nappies because of the accidents. However, by putting the undies on inside the nappy it will actually help train him what it is to be wet, and how to know his body before he urinates, without the stress of accidents.

squashy

Sending you a hug for what you are going through. Trust me one day he will let you know he is ready, if he is really not using the potty, as opposed to using it mostly but having the odd accident, I would just hang fire as it is just going to stress you both out. All children will develop the urge to do it by themselves, after all you don't see many 8 year olds in nappies! Be gentle with yourself right now x

specialK

Don't be so hard on yourself! there is no set age in which a child should be potty trained. They will do it when they are good and ready and not before. If you make a big deal out of it, it could go the other way.
Just have the potty where he can use it if he wants to. If he does not feel pressured he might 'go'.

If only they came with a manual, eh!

My little boy was nearly 4 before he was fully potty trained but my daughter was 18 months, it all depends on the child.

Keep your chin up. (((hugs)))