When to start a family? Can we afford to?

affordmylife

im sorry if i caused any problems that was never my intention.

my husband and i both work full time (well i do 9-3 term time only) and we only get child benefit of £120 per month.

hubby only earns £20,000 but does tons of overtime to make a living wage and i work in order to feed our family (which has shrunk over the past few years from 7 of us to 4). we have a heap of a car and one holiday per year of usually 4 days in the UK somewhere.

so im wondering should hubby stop overtime and i give up work and then we claim some benefits?

i dont mean to be infammatory but can you see where im coming from?

Snafflepants

Hiya,

Thought I'd reply as well as I am 25 and have a little girl who has just turned one.
When I was pregnant I was terrified we wouldn't be able to afford to provide for it but we are absolutely fine.

There isn't a right time - as there is always something to fix or buy etc etc.

I work part time and my partner works full time and we earn enough so we get child benefit which as someone has previously said is approx £80 a month. We qualify for Child tax credit which worked out as £45 a month but now my daughter is 1 it halves as you lose the baby element so it's £22 - but still makes a difference.

It also depends on whether you plan to go back to work (full or partime) as child care is expensive. We don't get working tax credit but my employers do Busy Bee vouchers which give me tax and NI relief on our child care costs which equates to a saving of about £50 a month.

Also, if you work check out what your employer provides for when you are on maternity - will you get just stat pay or something on top?

IMO a child is as expensive as you make them. You don't have to buy all the gear that the books and magazines tell you to, and ebay is fab as things don't get used for very long. Plus you will be amazed at how generous people are when it comes to babies - I know I was....

We are going to start TTC after we get married in Dec and this time round going to be so much more savvy.

HTH and good luck

starbump

mariagti wrote: »

We both live at home and we have got to the point we dont know which way to go.

There is no need to own a house before starting a family. For the first year, you would have baby in your bedroom (in cot or co-sleeping) so you wouldn't need a second bedroom for quite a while (rent is cheaper on a 1-bed property versus 2-bed). So long as you budget carefully, I'm sure you would cope and still manage to save a bit. Breast feeding is free and sufficient for 12 months (you'll need a pump and bottles if you go back to work); thereafter, whatever you're eating minus salt. Cheap clothes will do as they get outgrown in a "blink and you'll miss it" way. Toys are really for parents as what babies like best is whatever they aren't allowed - failing that, anything they can put in their mouths while you're distracted. The only big expense is nappies - ask for nappies or store credit for the whole family's birthdays, etc.

What I find more interesting though is the fact you both live "at home". Have you ever lived together? Some people find this makes for trying times, until you learn to live with each other's habits. Then, when you have a baby, it's a bit like going through that again but on a larger scale. Just something to consider. Apologies if you have already thought of this.

Aliktren

We've been tryng for kids for a long time and all that time I was worried about the money, every year my salary went up and I still worried

If you're worried about buying a house, dont do it, rent somewhere, and then you can always buy a property abroad and let that act as the investment part of buying a home later (and for much less)

owning a home is a relatively recent "must have"

mariagti

Hi, Thanks for all your kind helpful posts.:D

We had another talk and really do think renting is the way forward for us. We are going to save a bit more money up until about June/July as will we need to buy items for the flat we will be renting. Then live together for another 5 months getting used to living together etc. Then if all is well, then try for a baby end of year.
Someone said they started collect baby things a year in advance....funny you should say that, the past few months there have been babies freebies which i have been getting , i have nappies, wipes, towels. All from freebies from here.:rotfl: Oh and £50 in boots vouchers, they would come in handy!

Pervious someone said would we get married before having a baby. Well we have been engaged 3 years now, we havent set a date as (this is going to sound stupid) i wont until my skin is clear. From age of 13 i have suffered with acne. It hasnt been so bad for the past 2 years now. I just have a few come up every month. But i worry about how i will look in the photos. I dont want to be an ugly bride with a massive spot on my head, as the spots i get when i get them now are like bumps on my head, not the normal red spot that can be squeezed. There like cysts on my forehead normally. Im hoping once i come off the pill they will clear up totally and i might just get the odd one around period.

pollyanna24

S0d getting married! Times have changed. That's not a reason to get married these days. At least not rushing to get married.

My mum, bf's mum and various other people asked "So are you getting married now?" I think we have other things to worry about at the moment, don't you?

We have lived together for 8 1/2 years and owned houses together for 5, so I think it was pretty obvious we're not "saving" ourselves for the big day even before I got pregnant.

It is something we may do in the future, just not right now.

mariagti

Now on the maternity front this is where i have a problem. I am a hotel housekeeper, which involves sooo much pyshical work, lifting, bending etc. I wouldnt be able to work this job much after what 3 months of prengancy? I would have to leave my job, so they wouldnt have to pay me maternity. As i would have to quit.

RoxieW

Hi mariagti

Just wanted to say hi and add my story.

I got pregnant (happy accident) whilst stil at uni. As we were both studying, we were entitled to no benefits (apart from child) and lived on £8000 that first year. We managed. God knows how but we did! Rents were lower then thou - admittedly! But we hardly went out and baby had some things second hand. We never felt like we or he did without thou!

I'd second the replies that say you can have a baby quite cheaply. I'd also recommend going on the tax credits website to 'do i qualify' and putting in your circumstances as they would be once you've had a baby. That will give you a fairly accurate idea of what benefits you will get.

PS dont worry about getting married if its not high on your list. We did it last year with our two little sons as page boys. It was great.

Good luck!

Snafflepants

Hiya,

Could you ask the hotel to swap you to a different department or lighter duties?

Even if you left you might be entitled to Maternity Allowance rather than Stat pay.

When I pregnant my skin was ace and the spots that I had before (and have again now) disappeared and people said I glowed.

Best of luck

mariagti

Snafflepants wrote: »

Hiya,

Could you ask the hotel to swap you to a different department or lighter duties?

Even if you left you might be entitled to Maternity Allowance rather than Stat pay.

When I pregnant my skin was ace and the spots that I had before (and have again now) disappeared and people said I glowed.

Best of luck

Thats the thing its a family run hotel, all other jobs are taken by the family members they just left the hard working jobs of housekeeper and chambermaids to us outsiders.:rolleyes: