When to start a family? Can we afford to?

ceridwen

There is just one teensy problem though - that, with most people, when they claim various benefits for having children what they are doing is diverting tax they have paid at one point in their life to extra income (in the form of benefits for having children) at another point in their life.

What is a problem is for those people who are childless - whether by choice or Mother Nature didnt co-operate - and are paying out the taxes at that one point in their lives - but NOT getting them back at some subsequent point. Is there an answer as to how the childless can get back those taxes paid to them in some other way (since they arent getting it back in the form of various child benefits)? (This is a serious question - as I must have paid out thousands of £s over the years towards taking my "share" of child benefits at some point - and cant honestly think how to get that money back again - as I have not had children.)

Bogof_Babe

Ceridwen, we'll just have to live to be 100 and get it back via our pensions .

ceridwen

BogofBabe

Ooooh.....I think theres just one slight snag to that one.....would HATE to live to be that old...nightmare! Any other thoughts?

Bogof_Babe

Erm, I'll work on that one.

My mum just had her 93rd birthday and she is as happy as larry (and I don't mean in a dementia sort of way either), although physically she's not so hot.

S'pose we could always do something terrible and go to prison :cool: :eek: .

sassybooboos

i would also say go for it. i waited until i was 32 which looking back wished i had done it earlier because i worried wouldnt be able to afford it etc but you learn to manage with what you have, and at the end of the day all your baby will need is your love and care.

babies aren't as expensive as everyone makes out, and you are entitled to have benefits etc, which i didnt know until i had had my child.

maybe you could get a housing association property which i believe are cheaper than private renting, and a lot of them are private houses the housing association have bought. ( get on the waiting list now and you will accumulate points as your circumstances change).

ceridwen

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Erm, I'll work on that one.

My mum just had her 93rd birthday and she is as happy as larry (and I don't mean in a dementia sort of way either), although physically she's not so hot.

S'pose we could always do something terrible and go to prison :cool: :eek: .

....or we could always do something really useful and go to prison for that instead:D Dont fancy myself in a striped jersey and mask with a bag marked "swag" - but theres always doing something socially useful thats currently against the law ... I could come out with examples but "Big Brother" could be reading this - lol!

fairladyzxgirl

I would say wait, but then again im 28 and do not posess maternal instinct, its alien to me!!

You should only have children imho, if you are mentally, physically AND financially equipt. If you have doubts, maybe now is not the right time to do it. I know everyone says that never is the right time to do it, but if you are worried your wage is not enough maybe it would best waiting till you feel a little more comfortable with your circumstnaces??

I mean it not like your biological clock is ticking at 25??!! lol

Bogof_Babe

How about climbing on top of the Houses of Parliament and protesting about something - it must be, ooh, at least a fortnight since that's been done .

Do you think we should apologise to the OP for thread-jacking her perfectly serious post?

Back on topic - my mum had me (her first) at nearly 37, and my sister at nearly 39, and we are perfectly okay (the jury is still out on "normal" .

lauren_1

Really there is no right time but there is nothing stopping you from starting to plan and prepare now, i started collecting baby things at least a year before i got pg Most of it was free from friends or off of freecycle, just glad i didnt have to pay for it all!!!

pollyanna24

Just thought I would join in the foray.

I am 26 and pregnant with my first child. While I don't think this is old, I would have liked to have been younger with my first child, not quite sure why.

However, I did start "preparing" from a young age. As soon as I met bf, we started saving, saving, saving and now own a three bedroom house just outside London.

We are not on mega wages, we just got on with it. We bought our first house in 2003 in a really bad area, done it up and then sold it. Didn't make a huge profit (in fact if we had just stayed with my parents, we would have been able to save the same amount we made), but I couldn't stand living there anymore, so we had to sell.

I would also say there is no proper time to have children. Looking at our finances (I am the breadwinner), it looks like we can't afford it, so maybe we should have waited. But broodiness is quite strong! We did all we could so that we had a sufficient amount in savings to cope with me being off work and then started trying!

The amount people have pledged to donate to us is quite amazing, and apparently having a baby can be quite cheap.

I would also say there is no need to own a house, it just works for us. And we have the lovely big mortgage to prove it! My parents have never owned, we came out alright.

The benefits that I have worked out we will get is my maternity pay for 9 months, child tax credits of £80 ish a month and child benefit of £80 ish a month.