Finally Told My Wife!!!

retrolady

That must have been one of the scariest things but well done for being honest.

At least now you don't have to worry about her finding out some other way. That took a lot of bravery to do that so feel good about yourself

Bismarck

With ChimpChoker on this.....hope I'm wrong and too cynical for my own good but I'll repeat my earlier post in that this is an unusual response....... I would have expected the smashed china, frosty looks and general grief for a while before you set out the way forward together....not a mention of asset shifting....sounds like the great divide is being planned...get some advice while the dust settles...remember to forgive yourself and move on but not take a kicking in the process....

kazmeister

I havent wandered over to this thread for ages, but I do find alarm bells ringing at your wifes reaction. A year ago I had to tell my OH that for the second time I'd run up debts on credit cards. His reaction was that we would work together to clear them. A year on HE has done that by transferring them on to 0% cards in his name and by doing up to 100 hours a month overtime to pay them off. Never did he mention putting my share of the house into his name. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and your future.

thriftymomma

Wow, well done for telling her, hopefully it will be onwards and upwards for you now! Good luck x

laineyc_2

I am sure it must be some relief telling your wife of the situation.

I agree with ChimpChoker and Bismarck, it is a slightly unusual response from your wife. My OH had huge gambling debts and my first reaction was to hit him with a the nearest object. Then when I had calmed down, my next instinct was how to move forward i.e. he took responsibility for his problems and we sorted our future. At no point did occur to me to get him to sign over the house. It may well have been an option had we not worked things out and he had not picked himself up, but it was not my first thought.

I suspect that your wife may well have been given this advice. It may not be the case, but be wary. Are your loans unsecured because from what I have read that does make a difference to how you proceed.

telboy99

Its certainly very hard to tell your wife that you owe a lot of money that she knows nothing about. Ten months ago i told my good lady that i owed £198k.It was the hardest thing i have ever had to do and certainly not something i would ever want to do again.
I felt so ashamed.Luckily for me she has supported me brilliantly ever since ,and i have paid off £18k in 10 months.
Aren,t i a lucky guy? I hope to be debt free in 8 years.
Good luck all in your continuing efforts to be debt free.

Craftyscholar

Please forgive the intrusion, but is it possible that something in her own family's past has made her terrified of losing her home and security and that is why she has made this suggestion?

CharliesAngel

Hi 63kdebt

Well done on telling your partner :T - hopefully when it sinks in she'll be more supportive, and with the help of everyone on here you'll have it cleared in no time...

CA x

carrottopsuk

Craftyscholar wrote: »

Please forgive the intrusion, but is it possible that something in her own family's past has made her terrified of losing her home and security and that is why she has made this suggestion?

I tend to agree. She may not trust you to to keep the house safe. (after all this debt was sprung on her) This way she can feel more in control and be safe that the house is secure. Also, she'll know that with you paying off the debts this won't have some comeback on her in the future.

lilac_lady

In many people's eyes the worst thing that can happen to a family is to lose the house and be homeless. If your wife is supportive in helping you clear the debts I think she just wants to know that the family home is safe. If there's no charge on it for secured debt it would seem like a good thing to do.