Finally Told My Wife!!!

63kdebt

I finally came round to telling my wife about my 63k debt on Wednesday night. As you can imagine it didn't go down to well. We hardly spoke for the past 48 hours.

Today my wife has come back from work and offered to buy me out of the house so that I can pay the debts off. She says that she would rather remortgage in her own name so at least she still owns the house, should anything ever break us up (not what we want, but a family member is getting divorced less than a year in).

I am in the process of offering full and final settlements to all my creditors, started of with a 35% payment as MBNA have agreed to this so thought I would try it on with all the others. I am prepared to offer up to 50%. This way I will still have some money left at the end of the month, as currently with my DMP with CCCS I can't even buy a bar of chocolate and this is due to go on for another 10 years!

My wife believes she could loose out if we remortgage in joint names, as she will effectively be taking on half my debt.

Does anyone know if my wife would be classed a first time buyer for mortgages, even though we have a joint one at the moment?

Anyway for anyone out there that is hiding debt from there partner, you have got to tell them, there is no good time.

Thanks to all who have replied on my other threads and to anyone who replies to this.

Optikal

Well done mate. I know i'm new around here, but i've read so many inspirational tales these past few days and yours is another. I know it's never hard sharing yoour debt problems, especially with someone you love. But i'm also a firm believer that truth can only make one stronger.

I hope you and your wife can work through this and come out both closer and stronger. Good luck to you, brother!

Bonbon

Sorry I can't help you with your question but I just wanted to say that you did the right thing by telling your wife. It must have been a very difficult thing to do.....well done, and I wish you all the best.

money_maker_3

Well done for telling her.

To your question though, she would not be a first time buyer, she will need a remortgage or a Transfer of Mortgaged Property (TOMP) both of which will require a solicitor and a few fees. If you go to your existing lender it might be easier to remove you via a TOMP rather than starting a new mortgage elsewhere.

Hope this helps

Bismarck

Hi...well done for the spilling of the beans...does the air feel better now when you breathe?

The reaction is a little unusual from what I've seen elsewhere.....you're not exactly in a position to negotiate but aren't you signing away any equity this way....can't remember whether there was any from your original posts.....tread carefully but well done....

Mithvingiel

Wow....I don't know what I would say if my husband told me he had any kind of debt! *lol*

Great job on coming clean though. Things may be a little tense between you both right now but once she's had time to fully adjust to the situation I'm sure everything will work out right.

Burlesque_Babe

Well done on coming clean.

When I split with my ex, he bought me out of our house. We went to the bank and he 'applied' for it to go over to him. There were a few forms to sign from the solicitors and then it was transferred to him and I had the money come to me.

Bunnyinthelights

Well done mate-just over 2 years ago I came clean to my OH about my £50k debt-it's had it's up moments but on the whole has been the best thing I ever did.
Keep your chin up,
x

neverdespairgirl

Well done on talking to her.

She'd have to show a mortgage lender that she can afford it on her own income, which might be difficult?

GeorgeUK

I'd also suggest that both of you check your credit reports (free at Experian if you cancel within 30 days). If you have any joint accounts, then both your credit hisories will be linked and hers will be adversley affected by anything nasty that you have on yours. Thought that might be worth putting out there.

Good luck and well done on sharing.
Hope everythign goes ok.

chimp_choker

63kdebt wrote: »

I finally came round to telling my wife about my 63k debt on Wednesday night. As you can imagine it didn't go down to well. We hardly spoke for the past 48 hours.

Today my wife has come back from work and offered to buy me out of the house so that I can pay the debts off. She says that she would rather remortgage in her own name so at least she still owns the house, should anything ever break us up (not what we want, but a family member is getting divorced less than a year in).

Well done for telling themissus. I've never had that problem as we only have one bank account and share everything from that.
HOWEVER !!!!! be careful for the remortgage. I smell a rat and if she has come home from work with this suggestion then to me, being the cynical type she has been talking to colleges and may well be planing on the divorce as you read this !! I hope not but be aware that you only have one main asset and it's your part of the house and if it's only in her name it might be difficult to get any of it in a divorce. Don't forget that if any of your creditors make you bankcrupt then they can't touch your wife's part of the house as far as I'm aware and then that maybe the time to talk about buying you out etc.
As I say, I'm probably too cynical for my own good but get legal advice first before you do anything. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !