DIY Divorce

jazzyjustlaw

No fee consultations where I live either. How is it moneysaving not seeing a Solicitor to check your getting what your entitled. That could cost you thousands.

margaretclare

Coventry_Sister wrote:

Please note that most solicitors give 1 FREE consultation...

Use it wisely !

Not in my experience. I used to do voluntary work at CAB and people there would come in saying 'which local solicitor does free consultations?' The answer was 'none of them, not in this area'.

Coventry Sister, I'm sure Martin would agree - it's better if we don't discuss religion on this site. The Quran may be holy to you, but it is of no importance or relevance whatever to me therefore there is no point in your quoting it. I have my own religion which I follow and I have not quoted my beliefs to you, so please extend the same courtesy.

Margaret Clare

stopthespends

i am currently going througth the same situation.. i have had a deed of separation drawn up by the solicitor. this outlines that the house is top be signed over to me lock stock and barrell and that we have no claim on each other pensions etc.

margaretclare

louley wrote:

i am currently going througth the same situation.. i have had a deed of separation drawn up by the solicitor. this outlines that the house is top be signed over to me lock stock and barrel and that we have no claim on each other pensions etc.

Hi Louley, thanks for the thanks!

I think this is a 'clean break divorce'. Even if you win the lottery the day after your decree absolute, ex has no claim, and even if his rich uncle dies and leaves him a fortune, you have no claim on that either!

I wish that my present husband could have done DIY when he and his last ex got divorced - it might have meant less aggro, less acrimony. But I don't think the acrimony was caused by the solicitor that wifey used - it was caused by her, although she did change solicitors at one stage. We think that was because the first one wouldn't go along with all that she wanted to do. The second one believed all her lies and used to write 3-page letters going over and over things.

We still have a standing joke every time we're out and we see a red Jaguar. B came here with a rusty old white Ford Sierra Sapphire, an obsolete computer, his tool-box and his desk and chair in bits. Apart from clothes in bin-bags, that was it. Wifey concocted this story that the local Neighbourhood Watch opposite had seen him driving past her door 'to harass her' in a red Jaguar with a female passenger. How do you disprove a fairy story like that? Even the unlikelihood was dismissed - a round trip of over 300 miles just to drive past her door to 'harass her'! Even the fact that they lived on the Nottingham ring-road with thousands of cars a day, unlikely to recognise someone from across the road, and the fact that he'd never had a red Jaguar! This fairy story ran and ran for ages.

This is just an example of why you need a solicitor. A DIY divorce might work if everything is straightforward, maybe not been married long, and either there isn't much to split up and/or both parties can agree. I'm not sure if that is very likely!

Aunty Margaret

Coventry_Sister

margaretclare wrote:

Not in my experience. I used to do voluntary work at CAB and people there would come in saying 'which local solicitor does free consultations?' The answer was 'none of them, not in this area'.

Margaret Clare

I am sorry to hear that in certain areas solicitors do not offer FREE consultation. This has just come to my attention...

What about CAB or Law Centres ? Do such things exist in your areas ?

http://www.lawcentres.org.uk/

margaretclare

Coventry_Sister wrote:

.What about CAB or Law Centres ? Do such things exist in your areas ?

I don't know about Law Centres. Like I said, I used to be a trainee volunteer adviser at our local CAB, and that's the 3rd largest in the country so it's very busy. There is a CAB in most towns and even some villages, depends where you are. However people do often think that CAB can do things that it can't do.

We could advise people about the basics of divorce, give them leaflets, forms etc and often just talking to someone helps to clear the person's head, because we had the advantage of being completely independent and not involved. Sometimes you're so close to the problem, you just cannot see 'the wood for the trees'. But we couldn't arranged a divorce for someone - for that, they either completed the forms themselves or they went to a solicitor.

One thing that made a deep impression on me was the number of people who were either in a relationship or in a marriage but it hadn't been of very long duration, and they thought that they would automatically be entitled to 50% of everything. I've seen people who were splitting after literally a few months! We were invited to a colleague's wedding, fortunately we didn't go, we'd have felt complete hypocrites, because that marriage lasted less than 6 months.

As Bossyboots will tell you, the 50/50 equal split isn't necessarily so - but it's one of those modern myths which are very common.

Aunty Margaret

Legal_Academic

Coventry_Sister wrote:

Marriage is a contract and a pre-nuptial agreement is signed before marriage even though it has no relevance in English law.

With respect, this reflects the position in English law as it used to be several years ago when pre-nuptial agreements were largely disregarded by the judiciary. However there has been a significant shift in the way English family law courts have viewed prenups over the past two years (see 'The Law' at https://www.prenuptialagreements.co.uk).

Of course there are many safeguards to be observed, but increasingly the wishes of couples, as documented in their pre-nuptial agreements, have been adhered to by the courts, even where there is a significant imbalance of wealth. Only where there is manifest unfairness to one party are such agreements now being set aside.

margaretclare

Legal_Academic wrote:

Of course there are many safeguards to be observed, but increasingly the wishes of couples, as documented in their pre-nuptial agreements, have been adhered to by the courts, even where there is a significant imbalance of wealth. Only where there is manifest unfairness to one party are such agreements now being set aside.

This is very interesting, because increasingly we do see posts on here saying something like 'I'm thinking of asking my girl-friend to move in with me, but if it doesn't work out can she take half of all I own - equity in property etc'. The answer would seem to be - draw up an agreement beforehand.

Knowing the agonies my husband went through at the time of his second divorce (6 years ago) I sympathise with anyone going through it now.

I was amazed to have the Quran quoted at me and then told that in the Muslim religion 'marriage is just a contract'. So why bring religion into a civil contract? It was different for us. We stood up in church in God's presence and used the words '..all that I am I give you, all that I have I share with you, within the love of God....' So there's One Other Person involved in our 'contract', not just the two of us!

Aunty Margaret