how do i stop begging letters?

louby-lou-lou

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Gingernutmeg

You could try registering with something like the Mailing Preference Service, that might help

red_devil

if your mother isnt happy then surely all she has to do is contact the charities and say it has to stop. They are a couple arent they hopefully one word from them would be enough.

annie-c

Agree. Firstly write to them asking them to stop, then register with the MPS.

superscaper

And also just keep or throw away those gifts that are nothing more than emotional blackmail. I'd deliberately not give to a charity on principle for using those kinds of tactics. Or better yet donate those gifts to another charity

louby-lou-lou

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alanrp123

Just put them where they belong, in the BIN:D

Nicki

Is your dad suffering from any form of dementia? late 60's is not old, and unless there is an underlying medical condition, certainly not a reason to take someone's independence away from them. My in laws are this kind of age, and as mentally and physically with it as they were in their 40's. They would be livid (and rightly so) if they found out that someone was binning their mail or writing to a third party about them without their consent.

If your dad is of sound mind, then it is completely up to him how he chooses to spend his money and the fact that he's giving it to charity rather than saving it up to become your inheritance is his own choice. You would presumably not be happy if he interefered in your life this way (maybe wrote to your bank manager and told him not to honour any debit card purchases made in the pub for example!), so give him the dignity you expect for yourself

louby-lou-lou

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Nicki

kitiaracat wrote: »

Like i said in my first post my mother came to me for help and inturn i came on here for advice for her. I don't care what he does with his money and have known for some time how much he gives away and also like i said in my other post it's up to him what he does and is very good of him. However i will do what ever i can to help and support my mother and if she wants to do something to stop this emotional blackmail then she will.

That doesn't really make it any better to be honest, unless you can put your hand on your heart and say that you would be happy when you were in your 60's and fully compos mentis for one of your children to conspire with your spouse to take decisions for you without your knowledge which you are perfectly at liberty to make. Perhaps the same example I gave in my first post,

If your mum is concerned that he is spending her money on these bequests then the correct way to deal with it is for them to have their own bank accounts for personal spending and only agreed spending to come out of the joint account and savings. That obviously is a marital matter between them, and she needs to sit down and have a conversation with your dad. To go behind his back in the way that you are suggesting is just unacceptable.

asharon

Quite often with charities you get one half that hates giving and another that does not. It happens a lot.

Of course if he gives money they will ask for another donation, why shoudln't they. You do seem to confuse the whole nigerian scammers and charities and in you op you blur the lines.

I can see you point but the whole going behind his back is not nice at all. Talking to him is fair enough, but to make his decisions for him, no matter what you think, is wrong.