Lending money to friends & family

seven-day-weekend

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

We have recently paid for a flight for a family member so that they can complete on a foreign property transaction, the idea being that they give us our money back when the sale has completed. ( We did this knowing that we may never get the money back, although we obviously told the family member we expected to be repaid).

This transaction is taking place in an African country that shall remain nameless, and although there are allegedly two people waiting to buy, no sale has materialised. What a surprise.

I think we are looked upon as a bottomless money pit since we sold our Spanish house earlier this year, so the answer in future will be 'sorry, there is no more money available'. Not a lie. We want to remain on good terms with the family member for various reasons so this seems the best way to go,.

It has made me think again about lending money and I re-iterate my previous post from 2010, - don't give what you can't afford and don't expect to get it back. Then if you do it get it back will be a bonus.

Just an update to say the sale has still not materialised (:)).

GDB2222

I saw a quote recently. "Always borrow money from a pessimist. They do not expect to be paid back."

xtinataguba

if you have any proof or something, you can go legal. but if you just lend the money, without anything then as far as i know you can't do anything about it. try to summon the person so you can talk to that person in a legal way. next time, always make it black and white, just for your security.

Lucyadams184

I would never lend money to a friend, unless it was a small amount and didn't expect to get it back. One of my friends got stung a fews years ago now for 2k. It's tough because you think you can trust people and then they do something like that to you.

SteveTurtle

Would you lend money to a stranger who asked for help to refinance a loan, buy a second car or redecorate their bathroom?
No, because, none of those things are income generating essential activities. Anyone wishing to borrow money for such purposes would be a very poor risk.

Paddles

pennymakespounds wrote: »

not sure if this is right board..

member of our family "lent" couple of £thousand to a "friend" to fund something....
which didn't happen .. and guy has made himself completely uncontactable . Apparantely he's done similar with couple of other people

Whilst probably classed as my own stupid fault for just handing over cash .. last thing we expected was this .. from a supposedly "best friend" .
What legal actions can i take .. or "legal threats" can i make to try and get him to realise i'm seriously wanting my money back.

Just wanted to sympathise - I know what that's like from both sides which is why now I would never lend to friends or family. I would GIVE them money if I were able, and hope should they ever win the lottery they'd remember me, but not lend.

I borrowed £300 of a friend once (we were teens so it was a lot) and it took ages to pay her back. I had all these good intentions but something would come up and I did find myself avoiding her while I got the money together. I did though, and paid her back and nearly 20 years later she's still my best friend - and would still lend me money - although I'd never borrow it again!

Hope you get your money back, although it sounds like the friendship may be lost.

thomas7_2

Sounds like a !!!! and bull story to me, followed by pointless over enthusiastic replys. People who ask for advice on these forums are often pathological liars, and people who reply are often deluded narcissists

rdwarr

thomas7 wrote: »

Sounds like a !!!! and bull story to me, followed by pointless over enthusiastic replys. People who ask for advice on these forums are often pathological liars, and people who reply are often deluded narcissists

That was a very "informed" first post. Just got Broadband installed under your bridge?

Hadrian

I, in a 'throwaway line', once said to my brother I'd let him have the £6700 he needed to get a 'new' campervan, I didn't have it then. Fast forward a number of years during which nothing was said about my casual 'offer' our mother died and he did the probating. Eventually he appeared with my share LESS the £6700!
I thought then, and still do, that I can do without this guy and since then I've never spoken to him or seen him. Good ridance.

borkid

Hampshire345 wrote: »

lending money to family or friends is a really bad idea, the fact they need to borrow money in the first place tells you everything you need to know.

I have lent money to people and every single time I have severely regretted it

Not necessarily. I have lent money to my son towards a house deposit he had 5% but found he needed 10% to get a mortgage, the 'rules' changed. He repaid me over the following 2 years as agreed. I've also lent money to my daughter when she took out a car loan. Initially she was repaying it herself but then I had some spare money so repaid the remaining loan which she then repaid to me. Much rather the banks didn't get the interest! Have lent them other monies and always had it repaid on time. The most recent being when my son separated from his wife and needed a deposit on a rental place, was repaid over the following 2 months.

I would never lend to any one else though but experience has taught me that my children always repay what they owe me and in the past have lent me money to save my borrowing from a bank, again I always repay on time