Lending money to friends & family

terryw

Lou

I am guessing that this lady is quite scared and will delete her post after receiving replies. This will make it more difficult for anyone to find the post using a search engine. Quoting the post would defeat this.

I think.

Lou67

terryw wrote: »

Lou

I am guessing that this lady is quite scared and will delete her post after receiving replies. This will make it more difficult for anyone to find the post using a search engine. Quoting the post would defeat this.

I think.

OK, thanks Terry. I am just bloomin nosey! :rotfl:

maz1964

hi guys

back again to let you have my own update ,,, having helped a good friend out of her mortgage repossession now having asked for some of the money back to get me out of a tight spot , got a big rebuff very sad to say ive now got a ccj for my efforts and have to wait for them to give me my money back when they can - ive now reflected i have to let this go and if i ever get the money back it will be a bonus if not then this friendship has come to an end already in my eyes,

so let me give you my now much fraught over and experienced opinion to stop you doing my silly mistakes in the vain attempt to help a friend out,,,

Do not get into any discussion of helping out unless you can honestly say to yourself it will not matter to me if i never get it back

if i owed others money like im being owed i would at least attemtpt to pay even a fiver a week to show im on the case but no, they have clearly left me to be their end thought

well im having to swallow this hard lesson that nearly has broken my family up,,,, of course i did the mistake of helping out without telling my family until after, suffering with depression at the time i just did not see any danger, which i clearly do now

so please guys this really is the truth from me to you,,, either get an agreement in place in a legal way if you really do want to help that person or do them some shopping and put it down to a gift from you to them to help them out, but really money is just fraught of danger and your friendship or family connection could be destroyed,,,,,,,

you have a choice - i just wish someone has helped me see the light before i did a very heartfelt and kind thing but now im left with a huge debt not mine - with a ccj, and a friend who clearly has left me high and dry,,,, im leaving it to them to forward me the money when they can, whenever that it, i am not losing any more sleep over it and getting to the danger of suffering from depression again i refuse to get me into that position again,

this too will pass, is a saying im trying to adopt

i guess im also selecting to put my health, my family in my day to day way of life, my family are supporting me and im very lucky this has not blown my family apart just we are struggling but i will survive with my family and get to a point where we wish to be, if the money arrives i will be happy if not i will still be happy and much wiser,,,,,

take care and heed my story just protect yourselves at all costs

better to lose a selfish friend than your own family xx

ciao maz:beer:

andy.m_2

maz1964 wrote: »

better to lose a selfish friend than your own family

Worth quoting.

mat176_2

when i sold my house i lent a mate £10k so he could go debt free. I had a sinking feeling when i transfered the money, but he paid it all back in a year-interest free..There are some trustworthy people out there..

seven-day-weekend

We have recently paid for a flight for a family member so that they can complete on a foreign property transaction, the idea being that they give us our money back when the sale has completed. ( We did this knowing that we may never get the money back, although we obviously told the family member we expected to be repaid).

This transaction is taking place in an African country that shall remain nameless, and although there are allegedly two people waiting to buy, no sale has materialised. What a surprise.

I think we are looked upon as a bottomless money pit since we sold our Spanish house earlier this year, so the answer in future will be 'sorry, there is no more money available'. Not a lie. We want to remain on good terms with the family member for various reasons so this seems the best way to go,.

It has made me think again about lending money and I re-iterate my previous post from 2010, - don't give what you can't afford and don't expect to get it back. Then if you do it get it back will be a bonus.

moneysavingtomcat

Hello,

I am on the other side - considering asking family for a loan after problems in the past. I would appreciate your thoughts. If I am being totally unreasonable and taking the urine, then I would rather be told on an anonymous forum than have my father disbelievingly asking me how I have so much gall.

This is long, apologies in advance.

I was in serious debt - around 20,000 pounds, amassed over three years - by 2001. Entirely my fault, with spending out of control. My furious parents bailed my out on one which had a stratospheric rate of interest, but said the rest was my problem to sort out. That left about 18,500.

With no prospects in the UK I took a job abroad, and slowly paid it all off, by 2009. There were a few late payments (the last in 2007, I think) and one or two unauthorised dips into the red of my current account, which were sorted out with a quick telephone call and transfer from savings account.

And the feeling of being free of debt was fantastic, and it has really changed me. Ironically, I am now much more frugal than I was when I was paying off my debts, even though the urgency has now gone. Actually, I suppose you could say it has been replaced with a new urgency - the need to build up capital after a late start. Flogging off every unwanted possession, and working three (!) jobs along with cutting all unnecessary spending has helped me back into the black. I now have the equivalent of 70,000 accumulated in just over three years. Asked my parents about paying back what they lent me, but was told it would just come out of my inheritance.

Now I am getting worried about my future, and really want to buy a property in the UK for when I move back there, and rent it out in the meantime.

I suspect asking for a mortgage will be a waste of time because of my poor credit record, the difficulty of getting proof of income from my jobs, and the fact that over the past few years there has never been much in my UK bank accounts.

Therefore I am contemplating asking my parents if they would consider loaning me the 140,000 odd I would need. They have hundreds of thousands in the bank, and no debt. I don't mean to sound presumptuous by saying that, but thought their position might be relevant.

I would pay it back at an appropriate rate of interest.

Given my past circumstances, I am prepared to do whatever they want to safeguard their loan. That could be to get formal loan documents professionally drawn up (I would meet the cost of this), or even to put the house in their name until paid for completely. I don't know if this is practical, but they regularly deal with property, so they would know.

Relations with them now are good, and the past is just not mentioned. I have no siblings. I fly to see them once or twice a year.

So, has enough time passed to be considered responsible? The age of reckless spending was over a decade ago, and as I said, I now have three jobs, so even if I lose one, I won't be completely in the financial doldrums.

Worth asking? I can cope with being told no, but don't want to ask them if I am proposing something preposterous and cheeky.

Mojisola

moneysavingtomcat wrote: »

I am now much more frugal than I was when I was paying off my debts, even though the urgency has now gone. Actually, I suppose you could say it has been replaced with a new urgency - the need to build up capital after a late start. Flogging off every unwanted possession, and working three (!) jobs along with cutting all unnecessary spending has helped me back into the black. I now have the equivalent of 70,000 accumulated in just over three years. Asked my parents about paying back what they lent me, but was told it would just come out of my inheritance.

Therefore I am contemplating asking my parents if they would consider loaning me the 140,000 odd I would need. They have hundreds of thousands in the bank, and no debt. I don't mean to sound presumptuous by saying that, but thought their position might be relevant.

I would pay it back at an appropriate rate of interest.

Given my past circumstances, I am prepared to do whatever they want to safeguard their loan. That could be to get formal loan documents professionally drawn up (I would meet the cost of this), or even to put the house in their name until paid for completely. I don't know if this is practical, but they regularly deal with property, so they would know.

Relations with them now are good, and the past is just not mentioned. I have no siblings. I fly to see them once or twice a year.

If I was one of your parents, I would certainly consider lending you the money. You've shown you have changed your ways and have built up reserves.

John_Pierpoint

If you were my child, I would probably agree to some sort of deal, especially as you are trying to "invest" the loan.

However what sort of "relationship" (if any) are you in? The divorce laws in the UK tend to say that money is lent to two people in a legal relationship. And even if they are not legally joined there may be a closer bond to consider.

moneysavingtomcat

Thank you for the replies. Seeing as you both think it's at least worth considering, I shall approach my parents.

I'm single, with a girlfriend but we don't live together. Didn't want to get committed when I was so much in debt.