Lending money to friends & family

slykatrinah

I know you are looking for advise here, but I have to say I am learning a lot from this. I am never going to lend lots of money to someone, unless we have a written proof!

maz1964

slykatrinah wrote: »

I know you are looking for advise here, but I have to say I am learning a lot from this. I am never going to lend lots of money to someone, unless we have a written proof!

hiya thats brill that this thread is informative, but i for one have been taken for a ride by a friend and nearly 5 years on still waiting for the money even with written proof, what it will cost to take her to court and then be told she hasnt got the money to pay me back will be utter waste of time, so i live in hope and hope that she means it that will pay me back once she remortgages her house,,,

i think i will continue to play the lotto got more chance of winning that so take care is what i would advise,

my other friend had told me to get a proper drawn up document from a solicitor where by they actually do propose to pay back and maybe use their house as a gurantee, im not sure how that would work out but hey im open to know new info if others know more about it

big lesson in life this lending and helping my friend out has affected my relationship with my daughter and my family overall too, as that money i really could do with it back to support my daughter with her studies,,,,but hey thats life i guess, and from now on i am very careful

just be ultra streetwise is all i can say

have a fun day all maz;)

*Louise*

slykatrinah wrote: »

I know you are looking for advise here, but I have to say I am learning a lot from this. I am never going to lend lots of money to someone, unless we have a written proof!

And even with written proof...never loan what you can't afford to lose

John_Pierpoint

maz1964 wrote: »

big lesson in life this lending and helping my friend out has affected my relationship with my daughter and my family overall too, as that money i really could do with it back to support my daughter with her studies,,,,but hey that's life i guess, and from now on i am very careful

Here is a childhood memory:

My late father thought he had a friend he knew and could trust; after all they had been in prison together for three years.

So upon release, he leant his close friend of three years standing the equivalent in today's money of £30,000.

As a kid, I did not really understand the ways of money and grown ups BUT I believe this £30,000 was meant to be an investment in a garage business.
Anyway the £30,000 went to money heaven.
From there it exercised an evil influence - every time we as a family were short of money - That was fairly frequently, not particularly because of my father's income but more due to the sense of entitlement to a standard of living and the inability between the two parents to plan ahead/budget and agree where the income should be spent.

Every time out would come the ghost of £30,000, especially at Christmas and holiday times, intent on spoiling the party.

So remember, if you have a family, there is no such thing as "doing what you want with your money". You probably need to get the whole family to agree to the loan;)

Yes you can talk to the kids about money. Money is neutral and honest - it only represents obligations between members of a community - if it portrays you as shallow, selfish and self obsessed self, then is will be telling the truth.

John.

PS For those who might have jumped to a conclusion - I am talking about a prison, full of prisoners of war.

millieandjoesmum

Hi after reading some of the responses posted I was wondering if you could help me help someone else.

an elderly friend of mine needed some repairs done, so she contacted someone to help her, that was fine no problems there, but the person then befriended my friend. the elderly person then came into a lot of money ...over 150k in two parts, the 'friend' somehow managed to get hold of the money we think it was via forged cheques. My elderly friend has no recollection of signing anything over but the 'friend' now gives her an allowance out of the money obtained (stick with me i know its confusing) now...... the 'friend' has now told my friend that she has to claim housing benefit and that if they give her the money back she will be prosecuted for fraud. so all in all she is around 150k down claiming benefits she doesnt need or want to claim whilst some evil lowlife is holidaying three times a year on money she never signed or gifted to them. the icing on the cake is that she contatced a solicitor to find out whats happened to her money, and they are taking forever to gain the information thus costing her more and more. The police have been contatced but they said its nothing to do with them even though it looks like obtaining money by deception or duress....any ideas or advice would be welcomed.

many thanks in advance

John_Pierpoint

Over the last fortnight there has been a 09:15 day time BBC TV series about scammers ( a euphemism for "fraudster"). The accompanying web site may have some suggestions and advice for victims.
Unfortunately the situation you describe is all too common.
Does the victim have someone (family member?) who could have done the research (basically a matter of getting copies of the cheques from the bank(s) involved and checking the signatures) rather than using a solicitor on £150+ per hour?
If the transactions are not self evident forgeries, it is then a matter of proving that a "vulnerable" person has been "defrauded" by their "friend".
I would suspect that the police doing a records check, to see if the "friend" has previous form, would be the first step.
If this is an isolated incident then it is just one innocent person's word against another's. If the "fraudster" is a regular "builder" then Trading Standards may have some records.

That said, there is a rumour in my street about how an elderly and no longer "compos mentis" resident was similarly defrauded.
The supposed fraudster eventually managed to put the "victim" into a care home (probably at the expense of the community,) where the victim conveniently died.

I don't think there is a simple solution for those who have no family or who are estranged from their family, they may be perfectly happy with the arrangements they have made (such as giving their money to some religious cult), however "irrational" the rest of us might think their behaviour is.

nix44

Hi,I am new to this forum and looking for some advice on a loan made to a friend.
In 2006 I made a loan to a friend for £3500 to pay for a product to help finish a car project he was working on at the time,a cheque for the full amount was made at the supplier of this product with both my friend and product supplier present.The agreement was a verbal agreement of repayment when the project was completed.However the project has changed hands since and no monies have been repayed by said friend.
I am looking to recover this loan now and would be grate ull of any advice on the matter.

Many thanks.

BitterAndTwisted

What proof do you have that this cheque which was handed over to a third party was either a purchase made for yourself, a gift from a very generous friend or a loan? As you said, it was a verbal agreement and nothing you do or say can compel this "friend" to repay you if they are minded not to. It's five years ago now so I suggest you try draw a line under it, learn from it and move on.

anettaanne

in dec 2009 i lent my friends daughter £1600,00 to by her wedding dress i paid for the dree in 2 parts useing my debit card my friends daughter said she would pay me back the money in march 2010. since then my friends daughter no longer speaks to me or my friend i did not get her to sign anything and she is now telling people i never leant her the money can i take here to court

John_Pierpoint

See if you can get an invoice and other documentation from the dress seller/maker.
Any evidence to make it clear that you were not giving the dress as a wedding present?