Help needed - how to tell him

tallyhoh

Did he know about the previous debts? Will you be able to tell him why you had debts to clear?
I am not being terribly nosy-- My OH gets into debt time & time again & it would make life a lot easier if he could explain where the money went instead of shrugging it off. Thats what makes me cross-- having no idea what it has been spent on. Plus of course if you have no idea where the money goes-- whats to stop it happening again?

newlywed

joanne1977 wrote: »

I have already done that two years ago and have got no credit cards in my name.

Make sure you tell him that too. That you cancelled them to stop the debt increasing.

joanne1977

Tallyhoh,

No he did not know about them. The reason I had the debts was when I used to go and buy shopping and just stick it on credit. Where now I save up till I can afford something and then go and get it. Each of the loans was trying to consolodate each time but found myself getting in deeper.

I have really learnt my lesson about debt.

I make sure I can justify why I bought something as well, where I used to be like your OH and not know what I had bought.

The way I will try and stop it from happening is by not getting any credit cards, If I need anything and can not afford it I will have to save up to get it!

Richie23_2

Jo, just be honest.. i came clean to my other half last night about my gambling problem.. i feel soo much better but no i have to do the right thing and never lie again and cut up my cards to deny temptation.

Ive got a lot of making up to do and i'm sure will have aswell.. but i'm sure he will understand. You could have carried on lying but now its in the open and you can both work at the issue!

Good luck

joanne1977

Thank you to everyone who has replied to my post. I will let you know how i get on.

Joanne

PENNYWISE_3

just wanted to say hugs & good luck

i definately echo what others have said before, just be open & honest & show him that you've done this to sort things out once and for all.

you sound like your spending habits have well and truly changed & you never want to return to owing money again.

joanne1977

Thanks penny wise. Yes have definately changed spending habits. I now use my debit card so i know it is coming straight out of my bank and not going on a credit card. I think this has also made me more wiser about my spending habits.

keerath

You really should have been honest to him from the very start. Though the damage is done, still you have no choice but to tell the truth. He may be upset with you, even mad, who wouldn't be? But because you are married and love each other, when you try to explain, he will surely understand -- but let time pass first and let everything cool down.

PENNYWISE_3

keerath wrote: »

You really should have been honest to him from the very start. Though the damage is done, still you have no choice but to tell the truth. He may be upset with you, even mad, who wouldn't be? But because you are married and love each other, when you try to explain, he will surely understand -- but let time pass first and let everything cool down.

maybe he will be mad, maybe he'll be very supportive, may be he'll feel hurt that he couldn't do anything to help.

at the end of the day the op is asking for advise and is going to do the right thing now, regardless of whether or not prehaps with hindsight it wasn't the best way to solve problem. everyone is human and we all make mistakes.

sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, i was in a rush & typing in a hurry!

Burlesque_Babe

Keerath - you aren't allowed advertising links in your sig.

Joanne - why not write down a few things about how you feel and how it all started. He will probably be confused and shocked but you will be able to work it out and you will feel relieve at him knowing.