I cant afford it - Why dont people believe me?

moneydesperate_x

gax23 wrote: »

What about honesty? Not just saying you can't afford it - tell them you're in a lot of debt and that you want to clear it before you start splashing out on frivolties. People will understand.

Sadly they wouldnt understand and I dont really want them all to know. People who mean something to me are all well aware, but I dont want to tell people I work with, I dont think its any of their business.
Also it will be quite sometime before I pay it off, so cant really say in ten years time i will go for a meal with them!

moneydesperate_x

southernscouser wrote: »

Listen to me you jumped up money wasting arrogant ignorant ******* *****, I cannot afford to go out and spend £50 ****** on a pile of *****. Just because you can freely pull £20 notes out of your oversized ******* **** it doesn't mean the rest of us ****** can. You *****.

They might not talk to you again, but they'll understand you have no money.

LoL
I think that may do the trick, but could also get me the sack!!!!
But it did make me laugh!!

tifnstav

i am brutally honest with people - they know that i had some fantastic holidays and a few years at uni, ran up a heap of debt - now if they ask me can i go somewhere i give them a "yeah right, i have x to last a month".

most people know i am being hardcore at the whole DFW thing but before christmas my boss had said he'd buy us all a drink after work - we all congregated waiting for him so i used a phone nearby to ask him if he was still on for the drinks. he said he was held up by about 10 mins and i should take £50 out of my account and he'd pay me back when he arrived, which would have been totally reasonable if i'd been, er, the minted boss.

i told him frankly "i have £19 in my bank to last three weeks so thats not possible!". he couldn't believe it! but pretty much everyone i work with knows that i am not being unsociable, i just have different priorities to them at the moment.

it makes me wonder though - will i still be as frugal when i am debt free?
to be honest, i hope i am still this way because the pointless drinks and lunches with work colleagues (many of whom i wouldn't choose to go out with socially) are something i can do without.

and DON'T get me started on office gifts!

tifnstav

i double posted!

tylersbabe

Hi Moneydesperate

I agree it is not that easy and I currently have the unenviable task of telling my friend that I cannot afford to go on holiday this year. Even if I did explain why she lives off her credit cards and loans, and her reply would be (as been in the past) but it is only £XXX :eek:
you can afford it :mad:

Even if i did explain she would not understand

Spendaholic_Chick

southernscouser wrote: »

Listen to me you jumped up money wasting arrogant ignorant ******* *****, I cannot afford to go out and spend £50 ****** on a pile of *****. Just because you can freely pull £20 notes out of your oversized ******* **** it doesn't mean the rest of us ****** can. You *****.

They might not talk to you again, but they'll understand you have no money.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:



Do you actually like these people and want to socialise? If so, do as someonesuggested above and have an Ann Summers/Tupperware/whatever party, or even do what I do - invite them all round tell them to bring a half bottle of spirits (make sure you all have different) and a carton of juice or bottle of lemonade or coke etc and take it in turns to create a cocktail, complete with names for them. Some of the concoctions are gorgeous, some hideous but we always have fun!

moneydesperate_x

tifnstav wrote: »

i am brutally honest with people - they know that i had some fantastic holidays and a few years at uni, ran up a heap of debt - now if they ask me can i go somewhere i give them a "yeah right, i have x to last a month".

most people know i am being hardcore at the whole DFW thing but before christmas my boss had said he'd buy us all a drink after work - we all congregated waiting for him so i used a phone nearby to ask him if he was still on for the drinks. he said he was held up by about 10 mins and i should take £50 out of my account and he'd pay me back when he arrived, which would have been totally reasonable if i'd been, er, the minted boss.

i told him frankly "i have £19 in my bank to last three weeks so thats not possible!". he couldn't believe it! but pretty much everyone i work with knows that i am not being unsociable, i just have different priorities to them at the moment.

it makes me wonder though - will i still be as frugal when i am debt free?
to be honest, i hope i am still this way because the pointless drinks and lunches with work colleagues (many of whom i wouldn't choose to go out with socially) are something i can do without.

and DON'T get me started on office gifts!

I do tell people I only have X to keep me going to the end of the month, and I also say I dont have any money at all when I dont, but I suppose, like me when I had a purse full of credit cards they just think you can put it on your credit card and pay later, but thats exactly what got me into this mess in the first place!

I also hope that after doing my time, I come out of it a better budgetor, I will never get credit again.

The last bit of your message, I thought read 'and dont get me started on the office 'GITS' but on closer inspection it read Gifts, I liked the first version!!!!!

moneydesperate_x

Spendaholic_Chick wrote: »

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:



Do you actually like these people and want to socialise? If so, do as someonesuggested above and have an Ann Summers/Tupperware/whatever party, or even do what I do - invite them all round tell them to bring a half bottle of spirits (make sure you all have different) and a carton of juice or bottle of lemonade or coke etc and take it in turns to create a cocktail, complete with names for them. Some of the concoctions are gorgeous, some hideous but we always have fun!

To be honest, not really! Its strange because I spend more time at work than with my other half, but they are work colleages and although I chat to them about nothing, only one is a very good friend. I do socialise with my friends and it never costs anything normally as we go to each others etc.

My brother doesnt help either, he likes to buy big gifts and invite the whole family round for meals etc with 5 different pudding options! He spent about £50 on each person this year for Christmas, and gave me a bottle of wine because I dont spend lots of money on him!

I dont judge people on how much they spend, what they own, how much they are paid, only how they treat me, have I gone wrong somewhere?!

Sorry about me ranting on..

Spendaholic_Chick

Well if you don'twant to socialise with them, let them whine as much as they want! See the one you do like and the others will get the message lol.

moneydesperate_x

tylersbabe wrote: »

Hi Moneydesperate

I agree it is not that easy and I currently have the unenviable task of telling my friend that I cannot afford to go on holiday this year. Even if I did explain why she lives off her credit cards and loans, and her reply would be (as been in the past) but it is only £XXX :eek:
you can afford it :mad:

Even if i did explain she would not understand

Good luck telling your friend. I used to be just like her, its only xxx, but then add that to the other xxx and the other xxxx etc and low an behold thousands of pounds later and no more holidays!