Game Over, or could a mod lock this please xxxx

LouBlue

flamingice wrote: »

thing is, i recognise the signs, and he's gone into a world of his own, i dont think he realises he has it (obviously a doctor would need to confirm, these are just my and a few other peoples suspicions), i think he just thinks his life is a bit ssh*t
but to be honest, his life isn't as bad as he feels it is, but he's so despairing he can't see it
i don't really know what to do, i don't think he'd be willing to go to the doctors about it

Apparently, majority of people do or have suffered from some sort of mild depression at one time in our life. I know I have this past year....tearful for no reason, haven't worked for a year so have lost a lot of confidence, then my mum passed away on top of everything...so I went to the doc. She didn't want to prescribe me anything, thank goodness, but told me to take St Johns Wort and to write down positive things everyday and it has really helped. I hope he goes to see his GP, its nothing to be embarrassed about.

flamingice

thanks lily and lou
he has been unhappy for a while, said it wasn't anything to do with me but he just wasn't happy with his life in general
since his best mate was killed at the end of january, he's got a lot worse, obviously he's greiving and it's affected him really badly, but i think its tipped him into proper depression, he's unhappy all the time and he pretty much hates himself, and he's irritable and easily provoked these days, amongst other things

at first i just thought he was being horrible to me, but on further thought and on speaking to my mum (who is a trained counsellor) and a couple of other people, and from my own experiences, i think its more than that

i really want to help him but i'm not sure he'll be willing to accept help as i don't know if he realises there's a problem, he also bottles everything up and refuses to talk about things

LouBlue

flamingice wrote: »

thanks lily and lou
he has been unhappy for a while, said it wasn't anything to do with me but he just wasn't happy with his life in general
since his best mate was killed at the end of january, he's got a lot worse, obviously he's greiving and it's affected him really badly, but i think its tipped him into proper depression, he's unhappy all the time and he pretty much hates himself, and he's irritable and easily provoked these days, amongst other things

at first i just thought he was being horrible to me, but on further thought and on speaking to my mum (who is a trained counsellor) and a couple of other people, and from my own experiences, i think its more than that

i really want to help him but i'm not sure he'll be willing to accept help as i don't know if he realises there's a problem

It sounds like definitely that he is grieving and is probably angry at 'life' for taking his friend and doesn't know how to deal with so its the closest people to him that take the brunt. All you can do is keep talking to him about it and try and get him to talk to someone. xx

flamingice

LouBlue wrote: »

It sounds like definitely that he is grieving and is probably angry at 'life' for taking his friend and doesn't know how to deal with so its the closest people to him that take the brunt. All you can do is keep talking to him about it and try and get him to talk to someone. xx

i'm not sure if it's grief or if its depression, as he was unhappy before this even happened, he's just a lot worse now
i think it may be a mixture of things, as he feels he has no prospects as he failed uni once, and he's convinced he's going to fail again on his second try
he really hates himself and he told me he feels like no one likes him, even though he has a lot of friends
i mean, i would have thought it was the grief that had overcome him but theres other things too that make me think its depression and that he may need to get some help for it

orangelily8

I agree with what Lou said
I know it's hard when he keeps pushing you away, and
hurting you, but he needs to open up, and talk about it

POLO_BINT

he most prob wont talk about it....... thats men im afraid lol

best thing to do is stop wanting him to open up.. remind him how to have fun again and be there for him when he chooses the right time to talk

as the old chinese proverb goes....

you cant get !!!!!! out of a rocking horse

laughter is always the best medicine! Just let him know you are there for him and leave it at that.

make him laugh again

xxxx

LouBlue

flamingice wrote: »

i'm not sure if it's grief or if its depression, as he was unhappy before this even happened, he's just a lot worse now
i think it may be a mixture of things, as he feels he has no prospects as he failed uni once, and he's convinced he's going to fail again on his second try
he really hates himself and he told me he feels like no one likes him, even though he has a lot of friends
i mean, i would have thought it was the grief that had overcome him but theres other things too that make me think its depression and that he may need to get some help for it

Some people are more prone to depression than others. As you said, he possibly had some form of depression before his friend died, and coupled with that, it has got worse. I would say he definitely needs help as he isn't getting any better, he is getting worse. Depression isn't having a bad day every now and then, its having more bad days than good days.

LouBlue

POLO_BINT wrote: »

he most prob wont talk about it....... thats men im afraid lol

best thing to do is stop wanting him to open up.. remind him how to have fun again and be there for him when he chooses the right time to time

as the old chinese proverb goes....

you cant get !!!!!! out of a rocking horse

laughter is always the best medicine! Just let him know you are there for him and leave it at that.

make him laugh again

xxxx

Thank you Nurse Bint.

flamingice

hi there polo, didnt know you were lurking!
i have really been trying to be there for him, make him laugh etc, i've been there for him and been a good gf but it seems like he needs more than just me to make him happy with his life as a whole

i think the fact that if i asked him when the last time he felt content with his life he'd say he really couldn't remember in itself signifies that something is wrong... and as for the bad days thing, most of his days are bad
and obviously i'm not him, but i know him very well, and i can tell he hasn't been ok for a long time

POLO_BINT

LouBlue wrote: »

Thank you Nurse Bint.

now bend over and assume the position