Things going wrong...

meyore

I'm trying to blame whats happening now on circumstances rather than depression-whether I'm right or wrong there I don't know. Maybe its denial, I don't know yet. But I know seeing the doctor will help. I made sure its the same doctor I saw before because I know shes nice and won't just dismiss what I say like some do. I just hope things get better soon, because I'm tired of living on the edge like this.

Sea78

Big hugs honey

Sea xxx

aligerdie

i really feel for you, especially with this weekend being cancelled.

My OH was in the army when we first met 5 years ago, and the amount of times he had to cancel leave because of duty was insane! Maybe because of the fact he was a bit of a joker, he always used to get put on duty if he annoyed his CO!
Anyway, i totally understand where you're coming from with the army thing, hubby is out of the army now and life is so much better.

You sound like you're working hard with your debts, but make sure you look after yourself, things seem so much easier when you've had some sleep, so a trip to the docs is a must!

I hope you let your OH know how down you are about this weekend, make sure he makes it up to you in a big way, you deserve it!

xxx

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi
Just read this thread & many things strike a chord with me, re panic attacks, before I got married I really suffered badly with these, I too was working tons of overtime to pay to get married & pay debts/bills it was a very stressful time, we actually got married in Australia & had a month between there & stopovers, so although we didn't have to pay for much of a wedding all the flights & hotels had to be paid for & it was a huge worry, I also don't like flying much, so that was making me ill too. You'll laugh, but one of the reasons we got married abroad was that we couldn't stand the stress of a big day as I would've been ill!
Now the other thing I can relate to is OH being away, as my Hubby is in the Royal Fleet Auxillary, & he can be away for weeks at a time, which doesn't sound much, but with 2 kids to look after & no money, it's a real strain & of course, like you I miss him.
On a brighter note, I think you are doing really well to be dealing with all of this on your own, dieting, selling a home, working all hours, seperated from your OH, planning a wedding, dealing with debt, it's quite a list & any one of those things alone are enough for most people, give yourself a pat on the back for coping as well as you have with all of that :T
Good luck at the doctors & take care of yourself

meyore

Hi everyone, thanks for your lovely replies. Its helpful to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this and that people understand and care.

I saw the doctor today and I was so nervous. Why does going to the doctors make me feel like that?

Anyway, she wanted to give me anti depressants, but I said no. I think that I feel this way because of circumstances so I shouldn't be taking drugs for that, I have to look at the cause. She suggested counselling, but theres no one able to see me until May. Also, she wanted to sign me off work for 2 weeks, but as I have a fortnight off starting on Tuesday I told her it wasn't really necessary. I don't get sick pay anyway, so it wouldn't have been an option anyway.

I don't feel to bad today though, just tired, but better for doing something about it. Roll on Tuesday now, thats all I can say!

Gemmzie

Glad it went as okay as it could at the doctors, that does tend to be the waiting list for counselling. Enjoy your two weeks off

RAS

Hi

At least accept the offer of counselling in May, as it will come sooner than you think. You can always cancel nearer the time if you feel ok.

lynzpower

hiya

I was just wondering, would maybe looking at the job you are doing help? You say you hate your job, sorry is there really nothing else? Have you thought about volunteering? That could move you in direction? I used to volunteer, its so great having that little thing you do for others and for you, a new group of people, a new purpose? I really miss volunteering, i cant wait to get back to it why not have a look and see if theres anything in your area? New horizons and all that and usually they pay expenses such as bus fare if you need to get somewhere of an evening etc.

xx

meyore

I will accept it, but I have to go back in March if I do want it as they wouldn't make me an advance appointment. I know its a good plan, I just wish it was sooner.

In_Search_Of_Me

aww hugs for you....good that the doctors went well but sorry you didnt take the offer up of anti-depressants to get you through as it may have helped with the overwhelming feelings that you have but obviously your decision.
I can understand why things are getting on to of you and wonder what time, if any, you are having some fun or relaxation with? I know when I was a baby DFW I did all out money saving & it got too much very quickly...can you find a cheap hobby that you enjoy to make sure that you have some fun
Sorry about OH but I'm sure hes as sorry as you are - hopefully he can move the hotel to another date so you'll have something to look forward to then...big hugs for you & remember youre not alone in this - lots of people understand. Have you tried St Johns wort? It can help!!