Things going wrong...

meyore

I've not been around the DFW thread much so far this year, I've been having a really hard time with one thing and another and haven't really been feeling "jolly" enough to post. I guess I'm still feeling sorry for myself, but things have been going wrong this year non-stop.

As those of you who already know me know, OH is in the army and is living away from me until we can get married. Which is a problem in itself, as we get very little time together and neither of us can actually afford to get married because of my debts.

I've managed to get my debt down to below £17000 this month (£16974.32 woo!), which I should be pleased about, but other things have messed up, so I'm not sure its not going to end up going up again.

To get myself out of debt I decided to sell my house and move in with my mum to save money and pay off my debts. The actual equity in the house is less than I owe, which is depressing, but at least a good proportion of my debt would be gone. I've been renting out the house in the mean time, to cover most of the mortgage payments until the sale goes through. Little did I realise we had a nutter living there, who has basically messed me around for months and cost me a load of money. We've got someone new in now, but the house doesn't look like its ever going to sell. I'm scared house prices are going to fall and I'm never going to get rid of it.

I live in constant fear that I'm going to lose my job, as around this time last year I was sacked, which is one of the big reasons I got into so much debt. I know I'm not doing anything that they could sack me for and I think I'm quite good at my job, but it doesn't stop me worrying. I wasn't actually doing anything wrong in the last job either. I had a case against them for unfair dismissal, but I couldn't face going through with it in the end so let it drop. I regret that now.

I think I'm suffering from stress at the moment, I can't sleep, I can't relax, I can't concentrate on anything and I feel like I'm stretched so far I might snap. I'm going to see the doctor about the way I feel tomorrow because I'm worried about the effect this is having on my day to day life.

I don't earn as much as I need to each month, so I have to take on more overtime than I can cope with so I can pay the bills. I struggle, but I've never missed a payment and I actually have a good credit rating. I don't get any luxuries like clothes, books or and nice bits like that. My shoe addiction is really suffering! I shop around for the best prices on petrol, I park a mile out of town and walk into work. I've started mystery shopping and that money goes straight into my wedding account, as does my quidco and cashback money. I've cut back on everything, but I'm still not making a big enough dent.

To top off my "favourite" month of February, is Valentine's Day and mine and OH's anniversery on Sunday. He was meant to be coming home for the weekend tomorrow and we were going to celebrate both. Then, they spring on him yesterday that he isn't allowed off base as he has to be on guard duty for a week starting tomorrow. Cheers army. The worst part of it is he had booked us into the hotel that I would like to get married in and was planning to give me an engagement ring. I am so gutted.

I'm sorry to moan, I just needed to get all this off my chest. Cheers for listening to my rambles.

skint_spice

But on the up side you seem to have lost 5 pounds!

I think a lot of us feel down this time of year but you do sound very stressed - try to relax a wee bit. If you are worried about the job can you speak to your boss and get some reassurance? I don't mean burst into tears and say you are afraid of being sacked but just say you'd like a "where we are, how things are going sort of chat".

It's a shame about your OH but you'll see him soon and the ring will be all the nicer for the anticipation! x

hypno06

(((hugs)))

I am pleased to read that you are going to see the doctor - if only for a chat, it will help you get things in perspective, and if you need some anti-depressants, they will soon kick in.

Go grab a note book and write down all the GOOD stuff - you are making some very positive strides in your quest and you should be very proud of yourself for doing so xxxxx

skint_spice

P.S. feel free to moan! we really don't mind and it's better to get it off your chest than let it build up further.

Gemmzie

*hugs* Meyore, I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well.

But you're still here, still paying things off and your OH clearly loves you a lot if he wants to get engaged

meyore

skint_spice wrote: »

But on the up side you seem to have lost 5 pounds!

I think a lot of us feel down this time of year but you do sound very stressed - try to relax a wee bit. If you are worried about the job can you speak to your boss and get some reassurance? I don't mean burst into tears and say you are afraid of being sacked but just say you'd like a "where we are, how things are going sort of chat".

It's a shame about your OH but you'll see him soon and the ring will be all the nicer for the anticipation! x

I have an assessment meeting coming up where my boss gets to tell me what she thinks. Trouble is, I usually can't get any words out if shes being nice or I end up nearly in tears. Its embarrassing!

ecoelle

Hi there, i don't think we've met before but your post struck a chord with me. I've been off work for nearly a month now with stress and going to the doctor was the best thing i did, she was very understanding and made me realise what i could do to change my situation. I just want to offer you support at this time, it's hard to be apart from loved ones. Hope you are ok with the doctor tomorrow, let us know how it goes, and it's a positive step just to share your feelings with someone else. I'm here if you ever ned a chat

meyore

hypno06 wrote: »

(((hugs)))

I am pleased to read that you are going to see the doctor - if only for a chat, it will help you get things in perspective, and if you need some anti-depressants, they will soon kick in.

Go grab a note book and write down all the GOOD stuff - you are making some very positive strides in your quest and you should be very proud of yourself for doing so xxxxx

I've been on the verge of panic attacks and that sort of thing for a while now, so I know I have to see the doctor because I don't want it to get so I really can't cope. Its just the no money/hate my job/miss OH vicious cycle going on and I need work out how to cope better.

Thanks for your support

meyore

Gemmzie wrote: »

*hugs* Meyore, I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well.

But you're still here, still paying things off and your OH clearly loves you a lot if he wants to get engaged

Thanks Gemmzie, I know I'm lucky in some ways and I'm fine when I can think positive thoughts. But days like today I just need a good moan. I hope OH will want to get engaged soon, I've been expecting it for ages, but when he said that was his plan I was gutted because it sounded like an amazing weekend he had planned. Oh well.

meyore

ecoelle wrote: »

Hi there, i don't think we've met before but your post struck a chord with me. I've been off work for nearly a month now with stress and going to the doctor was the best thing i did, she was very understanding and made me realise what i could do to change my situation. I just want to offer you support at this time, it's hard to be apart from loved ones. Hope you are ok with the doctor tomorrow, let us know how it goes, and it's a positive step just to share your feelings with someone else. I'm here if you ever ned a chat

Hi nice to meet you and thanks for replying. I work to keep my mind off the fact that I live somewhere I hate without my OH. And the fact that I'm desperate for money. One thought that plagues me is even if I did want to lose it and give up, I couldn't or I'd end up in real money troubles. I hate that feeling of being so close to the edge with money, I just have to keep plodding on regardless. I suffered with depression and panic attacks a few years ago and I know I can't let things get that bad again. I have to work Friday, Saturday and Monday and then I have a couple of weeks off to try and get myself feeling better again. I know my work is suffering and everyone thinks I'm a dippy moron because I can't think straight enough to string a proper sentence together half the time. If I can relax a bit hopefully I'll get back to my normal self a bit. I'm waffling again sorry.

Glad you're getting the help you need-gives me hope that I will be ok.

ecoelle

Don't worry about the waffle (i have plenty of maple syrup) i have suffered with depression since about the age of 15 and had a very bad episode about 6 years ago. It's very scary and when i started feeling unwell again i didn't really connect the two. But i had some of the same symptoms as you have now, i was very anxious, constant headaches leading to overuse of painkilers, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate and my work was seriously suffering but until i saw the doctor i couldn't see a way through. My OH was made redundant ladt august, i'd just gone part time to try and reduce my stress and things looked pretty bad for a while.

I've now had to give up work and my OH is still out of work so things are going to be tight money wise for a while. Ultimately your health is more important than anything, if you need to take some time out from work then maybe the doctor can help with this.