till debt do us part

Tondella

Thanks Nadnad, that was just what i needed to hear last night. I hate to blow off steam to OH as he carries alot of guilt about the debt which is mostly on his credit cards. The last few months of this year will fly (as they always do) and then before I know it we'll be into the new year with the first credit card paid off (by April). I just hit the blues last night and needed to let out steam

Your honeymoon sounds fantastic, we're just going to do a small honeymoon as we think there'll be plenty of opportunity to travel together in the future, we're hoping to do some sailing in the mediterranean. And I'm so jealous that you're going to build your own home, it sounds like a dream. Good luck with it, maybe we need an old school home building money saving thread!!!

margaretclare

Hi Tondella

Your friends having nice meals in restaurants, holidaying, shopping etc....but what they don't tell you is, how they're paying for it!! Your friends may of course be quite different, but I do know for a fact that a lot of people who have restaurants meals, holidays, 'retail therapy' etc do not actually 'pay' for these things at the time - they simply 'put it on the plastic' and you yourself have discovered where this leads to, and the drawbacks!!

I heard very recently on the radio that people paying by credit card in Tesco is a nice little earner for Tesco, because they take a small percentage of every credit card payment with no extra effort to them.

We all do need a budget, but IMHO it's a mistake to make it TOO draconian. No one can live in sackcloth and ashes the whole time!! If possible, try to build in little 'treats'.

Aunty Margaret

Tondella

Hi Aunty Margaret, good to hear from you again! I think you're right. Part of what precipitated my little rant last night was that I have been considering moving from the flat me and my OH rent (he lives in only at weekends) and into a flatshare with the potential to free up an extra £200 per month to go towards the debt. I put this to OH and he was dead set against it, mainly because flatsharing is always a compromise with the other people that live there, and he not having a home of his own (living in mess at work) means that we would never have anywhere to be by ourselves. I agreed but thought that prioritising repayments was more important, although truth be known I never envisaged myself being engaged and still living in a flatshare!
Actually it's really hard to calculate a debt free date because the amount we can dedicate to paying off the debts will increase as we both get payrises and feel the benefit of selling the motorbike, pay off the engagement ring (I know! but I really had no control over this little expenditure, despite my best protests!). The little studio flat we have right now is quite a bargain in terms of location and quality of fittings, albeit with noisy neighbours, I'm scared that I'll take up a flatshare to help things move along for a year or so, then when we come to look to find a studio again once we are married we won't find the same bargain and will be in a poorer position than before. argh!

Anyway, back to treats, I was thinking as I cycled past Waterstones this morning that being on this budget makes me really value the odd book, CD or item of clothing that I do treat myself too. I'm really learning to appreciate what I do have. As you can see I am feeling much more positive today!

Ruthann

Hi Tondella
I am quite new on here, but I wanted to say that its so much harder when your other half doesn't have quite the same attitude to the debt as you do!! Changing their attitude is much harder I think than living on a budget. My husband and I have about £6k of debt to pay off - 3K each. Mine was £27K 7 years ago, his was £3K 7 years ago. We earn almost exactly the same, and pay half of all the bills/holidays etc each. I'm worried that when i get my debt paid off, he will still have his. He has a good credit rating and always switches to 0% deals but i can't seem to make him see this as the problem I see it as.

Anyway, I don't want to derail your thread with my whole history, just thought I'd offer a bit of sympathy as it can be frustrating when you can't make them see why its such a big deal (although it sounds like your H2B is getting better about things).

My H was in the forces when he run up the 3K debt in the first place, and nearly all his forces friends and both his brothers who are in the forces are in debt. Its very hard to resist army peer pressure.

Hope everything gets better for you, I am sure it will and your H2B is very very lucky to have you to help him get straight - best wishes for your marriage too.

xRuthannx

LOL_3

Tondella

Forgive my nosiness but ... how much are you and your OH earning to be offered a mortgage of £280,000?

dinkylou

Tondella,

Just a thought, and please dont think that I am trying to encourage you to spend but I know sometimes you need a 'treat' or something.

London has some great charity shops. I know when I fancy treating myself but can t afford it I have a bargain hunt round the charity shops.

I always surpise myself with the things I find, dont spend much for them and always feel very proud of myself for finding a bargain.

Recently I found the Da Vinci Code for 50p! I was very proud of myself and it saved me about £6 by not buying it new.

Just a thought.

x

Tondella

Hi dinkylou, well in that spirit OH and I went to the library on Saturday, I found two quite recent and offbeat CD albums that I'd been wanting to buy but didn't have the budget for in their lending section, and so am now happily typing away enjoying them both. Really pleased as now I have a chance to listen to them before i buy, don't think I'll be getting one of them either: instant saving of £8.75!

Have you heard of book crossing? i've only come across one book by chance, however if you're really keen you can go chasing them where there is a new release, try this site https://www.bookcrossing.com. Plus it's a nice way of spreading the joy of reading if your books aren't top ebay fodder!

Thanks, tondella

Robert_Sterling_3

When I got married in 1964 the licence cost 11 shillings and 6 pence i.e.less the 60p.
Sixty pence for forty plus years of wedded bliss. What a bargain.
The cure for a debt of £20,000 is to earn more, spend less and increase repayments.

Tondella

Thought I might post an update here as I'm finding myself hijacking other people's threads!
Here's how it's all working out for me at the moment:
the situation: (to save you having to read through the thread). Recently engaged, to be married next year and in the course of discussions uncovered that my OH has credit card debts of £24k. Even though minimum payments were being met we decided that we would tackle the debts together

What we did
1. shuffled the credit card debts around on our existing cards, to get average APR down from 14.9% to 6.9% LOB
2. Set budgets that were liveable but prioritised repayments to give us an amount each per month that we would pay towards CCs. Set up direct debits to pay that amount into a holding account on the first of the month, reset credit card direct debits to that holding account so that it all got paid off on time and without having to think about it
3. negotiated with mobile phone companies to get real deal
4. started a food shopping budget, started shopping at Somerfield (rather than Sainsburys) and buying own brand food. Haven;t quite got to menu planning and shopping off list but very strict about impulse purchases
5. Started taking packed sandwiches when we are out and about during the weekend, made packed lunches at work more of a rule than an exception. Oh eats in mess.
6. Selling off motorbike

What we decided not to do
1. Not to move to a flatshare. OH lives in a military mess and so doesn't have a place of his own, still flatsharing when married was a sacrifice too far for us and so we decided to keep the small studio flat and make sacrifices elsewhere
2. Not getting a second job. Just was too hectic to fit in, would have been happy to do it when single but as OH lives away in the week weekends are our only time together, again a sacrifice too far, rather make the savings elsewhere.

How it's working out:
Great! I'm really pleased that i have managed to complete my first month living in budget (and that's after a quarter of my take home pay going to repayments). It is a workable budget, with a clothing allowance, small spending allowance, food, rent, utilities. Any savings I make on the food and utilities bills goes towards repayments, but I allow the spending and clothing budgets to rollover so i can save for more expensive items if i wish. I realise that it;s not the all out debt repayment strategy that others have come up with, but we decided to take a reasonable amount of pain over the long haul, rather than go completely repayment bonkers and do it all in the year. But that's a personal choice based on where we are in our lives at the moment. Worst case scenario the debt will be repaid in three years, however that does not account for an extra £250 per month that will be freed up by selling the motorbike and ending repayments on the engagement ring (in the new year). I have a payrise due in April, OH in September so the amount we can put towards these debts will only increase. I haven't ruled out making more money saving changes in the future but for a first start i feel pretty satisfied with our efforts.

I wanted to post this as we often get newbie posts on the board, worrying about how it all works out. Well this is how this newbie tackled her problems. I also wanted to show that lots of advice is offered from people but you must pick and choose which advice to use, to suit your own situation and priorities. I wish you the very best of luck in becoming debt free. tondella!

roversbabe

Good on you Tondella - I keep thinking I should post mine to keep me on the straight & narrow.

Sticking to your budget will be easier after the first few months as it becomes second nature.

rb x