Money Moral Dilemma: Should Jamie take Gordon to an expensive restaurant?



  • JayD
    JayD Posts: 698 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Well it's Jamie's birthday and Jamie's birthday wish. So Gordon should arrange the swanky restaurant that Jamie has made clear he wants to go to.

    Perhaps Gordon should tell the other guests that he will not be able to come for finanacial reasons and hopefully they will offer to cover the cost of his meal between them.

    OR - if Gordon and Jamie really are best mates, Gordon could tell Jamie that he has given him his birthday wish but that he either wont be going himself or will be sticking to a bowl of soup. I am sure Jamie would bail his best mate out.

    Either way - if my best mate had a real birthday wish, I would do my best to make it come true and I think Gordon should do the same.
  • trejoy
    trejoy Posts: 74 Forumite
    You get but 1 Birthday a year and you should do what you want on it. As Gordon knows that this is what Jamie wants, it has to happen how would he feel if his bessie missed out so as not to hurt his feelings? Gordon could organise something else for Jamie on another night.:T
  • skylight
    skylight Posts: 10,716 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker Home Insurance Hacker!
    Its Jamies Birthday - he can do what he likes.

    If Gordon is too proud to refuse help and it "happy" to get himself further in debt, then bigger fool him. He obviously hasn't had his lightbulb moment and no-one else is able to turn that on for him. You cannot hold your life back for one friend who cannot afford it. (I would be horrified if my mates changed their "dreams" because I cannot afford it. I just miss out, but I am comfortable enough in myself and with my friends to be able to do that.)
  • If you earn well there is no problem with having fun at swanky restraunts if you have the spare cash.
    There is also no harm in cheering up a friend who's a bit hard up at the moment buy buying him dinner.
  • He should still go but NOT tell Gordon!!!

    but if he finds out that would be awful wouldn't it?

    Actually second thoughts postpone it till Gordon sorts his life out.
  • depends on how gordon feels about it - if everyone knows him, they could all chip in, if gordon is shy, then maybe this wouldn't work out so well.

    going out for a nice meal in a nice restuarant, is def. a great birthday outing and nothing spoils it more than not being able to eat what you want, or rationing it to starters only!
    What goes around - comes around
    give lots and you will always recieve lots
  • New to the forums and I find myself in a similar situation - wondered if anyone had any opinions.

    I'm pretty good money-wise (I look at this website!) but know that I have some big expenses coming up soon so I've set myself a £60 a month going out budget.

    A friend has her birthday coming up at the end of March and has decided to hire a function room and have a buffet and it will be £35 each for us to go plus drinks and transport. Its basically going to blow my whole month's going out budget in one night and, as its in an awkward place to get to and I'll be buying a pressie (which I don't count in the budget of course) I'll probably spend more than £100 on one night.

    Her sister and I are now sort of arguing about it. She said that birthdays are more important than other nights, I said that I don't want to blow more than a month's budget on one night and that I think the bday girl's plans are too expensive.

    Am I being tight/unreasonable? Its not a "special" bday and, on my last bday, I had friends round and provided food and drink and then most of us went to a club. The girl who's bday is coming up only came to my house, not to the club after as she couldn't afford it. I honestly think its cheeky to decide how much other people should spend. In the Dilemma example, I would say that Jamie should go ahead and do what he wants for his bday but tell Gordon that he shouldn't feel obliged to come along and he won't feel hurt by that.

    Would you stick to your guns, say no, I'm not going but ask the bday girl (and some others) round for a bottle of wine and to give her present on another night, or would you blow your budget and go?


  • I think Jamie should offer to go to a more affordable restaurant and they can go to the expensive restaurant when Gordon has more money
  • I am a new user to this forum also, and I totally agree with you. If this event is going to cost you over a months budget then you should say you can't afford it and suggest a night out another time that you can afford. This is not being tight, it is being reasonable.
  • Did I read this correctly. You did say a 30th birthday as it sounds more like a 12th. Talk to your friend and everyone concerned and make compromises where necessary. There are more important things in life than birthday celebrations at posh/overpriced restaurants where you would probably be totally out of your element anyways.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors


  • All Categories
  • 343.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173K Life & Family
  • 247.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards