Helping 14 month old stay asleep at night when newborn comes home?

Librarian_with_attitude

Deleted_User wrote: »

should I make that warm from word go and then gradually heat it less and less till room temp or just go straight in with room temp formula from bf..

I found breast feeding to be incredibly difficult (omigod, nothing prepared me for the pain! for eleven weeks - however it seems I am just insanely stubborn and eventually DS and I came to an understanding and after that it wasn't so bad) so anyway, to get back on topic, I used to use formula if I was out (so that I didn't cause a scene with yelping, crying, drumming my feet on the floor and flashing boobs as DS popped on and off, then re-attaching like a little crocodile clip... you get the picture.) and breast fed at home.

I think looking back I was very ignorant but it never occured to me that DS would mind if the bottle was room temperature not breast milk temperature! I can honestly say he never seemed to notice, which was a bit gutting as I thought he ought to prefer breast milk seeing as how I was trying so hard! I used to carry bottles of cooled boiled water and little pots of powder that I'd pre measured, and it was seconds work to assemble a feed.

Go with the method which feels like it will give you the least stress, and if you can carry on breastfeeding at least some of the feeds you can increase / decrease it as circumstances dictate at the time. (I know that is an over simplification but I don't think it helps to get too hung up on the "all or nothing " approach) Good luck!

Rachie_B

I hope everything goes ok and you have worried about nothing

If you can afford it, then maybe think about getting some extra help in the early weeks

a mothers help during the day or a night nanny / maternity nurse in the night,depending which time of the day you find difficult once baby arrives

not moneysaving i know ! but if it helps you out in the tough first few weeks then it's money well spent!

Its hard enough having such a small age gap,but especially if you have PND and are anxious / apprehensive about the arrival of baby # 2

Good luck

xx

Cruiksl

Deleted_User wrote: »

Thanks for those ideas. Ideally if I can't bf, then room temp bottles would be the way to go and my preffered choice for the reasons mentioned above. However I am unsure how to go about introducing a room temp feed, I did try with Jack but he was having none of it!

For instance say I try bf for a week or so, baby has already had a taste of warm milk, then has to adjust to formula, which they may or may not take straight away, but should I make that warm from word go and then gradually heat it less and less till room temp or just go straight in with room temp formula from bf.

Thanks again for your help.

Why not try room temperature first and if baby won't take it, then try warming it.

I know people will disagree with us about this, but we used to just heat the bottles in the microwave and give them a good shake. Worked fine and saved baby bawling place down while we waited on hot water to heat it.

[Deleted User]

We figured out the microwave thing when he was about 6 weeks old and the jug of water was taking too long esp at night. But its still a good couple of mins to get downstairs, heat bottle and take it back up, without tripping over the cat and trying not to wake up too much. I still prefer room temp, hopefully she won't mind too much.

A paid nanny or helper isn't really an option as we just can't afford it. But I am lucky that my parents are just around the corner and my mum has already offered to help as much as she can. My dad was "night-shift gramps" once a week or so when Jack was really weeny and we were just struggling through each day. We are very lucky to have their support, but I know it won't be there forever and I need to stand on my own two feet so my parents can start enjoying their retirement properly.

I know this sounds horrible to say but i read or hear about women who just love being a mum its all so natural and the best thing that's happened and I don't get that feeling. Don't get me wrong I love my son to bits and wouldn't be without him and i wanted a sibling for him, but each day seems to be another one to get through and its all jobs, chores, responsibility and not a lot of fun in between. I said to DH a few months back "When did life stop being fun?" "When the lie-ins disappeared and minimal sleep was introduced". I feel very apprehensive about this new baby and then feel guilty for feeling like that.

Jack was planned and this one was a surprise, but it could have been worse, it could have been twins!

izoomzoom

Hi Bailey

I hope these last few days go quickly for you. I recall not too long ago the horrible uncomfortableness of it and pray you have your little girl soon.

I sincerely believe that your second child will be nowhere near as difficult as Jack has been.

Regarding BF, if you do experience problems, please seek help as soon as you can. I had problems and it took me 10 days to seek help. I was on the road to recovery within 2 days and I can kick myself for not asking for help sooner. Also a week between BF counselling could kill it for you, so pre-warn your MW (if still under their care) or your HV (when you transfer to them) because when you need help you need it there and then, and invaribly need to go back the next day (and the next) whilst you build up your confidence / try different positions etc. BF problems may not necessarily occur straightaway either (DS2 was 2m, Samantha was 3w when I got problems).

Someone else mentioned about 'mother's help'. We were told about this at both our NCT group as well as some paperwork that I got from the MWs - had something to do about volunteers from the university who needed some experience - and it was free. Maybe worthwhile for you ???

Best of luck, and looking forward to hearing all about your little girl

squashy

Could you discuss your concerns about feeding beforehand with a trained breastfeeding counsellor? In reality it is very rare to not be producing enough milk and bad advice from healthcare peeps can sometimes make switching to bottles inevitable For example, with your last baby there is a chance that by giving formula topups that interfered with your supply, as the more often you feed the more your body makes. However i did see that you said you became underweight and so it is great that you have taken steps in advance to combat that this time around.

You sound like a very determined lady to me and armed with the right advice you will get there with the feeding! Don't set yourself up for a fall hun.

I was realistic about breastfeeding expectations ie that i might find it hard but i purposely didn't buy any bottles etc as i wanted to make sure i perservered for as long as possible and didn't make a rash decision at 3am one day!

Breastfeeding my 4 month old and loving every moment of it (i get lots of sleep even with 3 or 4 night snuggles!)

Cruiksl

Deleted_User wrote: »

I know this sounds horrible to say but i read or hear about women who just love being a mum its all so natural and the best thing that's happened and I don't get that feeling. Don't get me wrong I love my son to bits and wouldn't be without him and i wanted a sibling for him, but each day seems to be another one to get through and its all jobs, chores, responsibility and not a lot of fun in between. I said to DH a few months back "When did life stop being fun?" "When the lie-ins disappeared and minimal sleep was introduced". I feel very apprehensive about this new baby and then feel guilty for feeling like that.

Bailey, I think a lot of mum's feel like you do. Personally I think sleep deprevation is one the major issues. Also I think a lot of people get competitive when they have kids - you know the ones that you meet and they state "Oh my baby has been sleeping through since 6 weeks" to which I always smiled and thought then why do you look as knackered as me ! As I say to people - well babies when they arrive don't come with written instructions so we're all trying to learn.

You're also on the home straight of pregnancy when everything seems an uphill struggle and if Jack is anything like my 15 month old ds then it's hard work. I spent after tea mopping up the floor as he'd emptied out his sister's cup of juice on the floor trying to drink it and then decided to bodysurf to great delight in the resulting mess as I was trying to mop it up. It's knackering isn't it and I'm not 9 months pregnant !

Gingham_Ribbon

My friend used to have water in bottles next to the bed and a round container with compartments in, each with enough milk powder to make up one bottle. The water would be a bit too hot when she went to bed, but the right temperature by the time she had to use it.

Your experience with b/f last time sounds traumatic. However, it's worth noting that the top up bottles would have been limiting the time he was sucking on the breast, which would have restricted the amount of milk you were producing. If you really want to b/f next time, try to find a good breast feeding advisor - either at the hospital or a local support group as bad advice can be even more damaging than no advice at all.

Good luck.

[Deleted User]

Thanks everyone for the advice, its encouraging to know I am not alone.

On the day we were due to be discharged out of hospital when Jack was 2 days old, at the last minute they noticed he was jaundiced and advised me to stay an extra night. Because of this they recommended a top up feed to try to kick the jaundice and then when we came home and he still wasn't feeding well or gaining weight and still jaundiced, we were advised to stick with top ups otherwise he would be admitted. What with me losing all the weight as well, I felt it was the only thing I could do. He was not getting better or gaining weight. By the two weeks my MW said I could continue as we were or give in to full time bottles. By that stage I had no confidence, so exhausted and tearful as DH was going back to work, that we gave bottles. A week later he had gained 13 oz.

Hopefully it will be better this time around. We shall wait and see.

Thank you.

Rachie_B

Deleted_User wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the advice, its encouraging to know I am not alone.

On the day we were due to be discharged out of hospital when Jack was 2 days old, at the last minute they noticed he was jaundiced and advised me to stay an extra night. Because of this they recommended a top up feed to try to kick the jaundice and then when we came home and he still wasn't feeding well or gaining weight and still jaundiced, we were advised to stick with top ups otherwise he would be admitted. What with me losing all the weight as well, I felt it was the only thing I could do. He was not getting better or gaining weight. By the two weeks my MW said I could continue as we were or give in to full time bottles. By that stage I had no confidence, so exhausted and tearful as DH was going back to work, that we gave bottles. A week later he had gained 13 oz.

Hopefully it will be better this time around. We shall wait and see.

Thank you.

give it a go and see what happens,this time round you both may find BF easier

and if not, then as suggested contact NCT or la leche for advice / support

some MWs are useless i found when it came to BFing and you were supposed to just "get on with it" ,but its not always that easy ! and needs to be learned sometimes
not every mum & baby takes to it straight away

((hugs))