New member. Hope this is right forum.

sloughflint

Thank you chesky369 for turning a horrible thread into an amusing one.

chesky369

we aim to please.

chesky369

Actually, I don't think it's horrible at all. The OP is obviously a truly good soul but you end up wondering why anybody does any good for anyone, since they can be reviled or treated with suspicion.

seven-day-weekend

I agree Chesky.

But I think those people who do good do it because it's the right thing to do.

God bless them.

Savvy_Sue

I think it's only thought a horrible topic because of the need to expect other people to think the worst, and guard ourselves against accusations. At least, that's how I read the comments about how depressing it all was. But we'll get back on topic, now, shall we? Unless we've answered all the OP's questions now ...

sloughflint

Actually, I don't think it's horrible at all.

I made a lighthearted comment, that's all.I would have thought my previous posts on the thread and my attempt to suggest to OP to keep things in writing at all times ( even though it was highly probable that kids wouldn't help out) clearly showed my empathy towards him/her.
Anyone who supports/have supported elderly people with or without EPA knows just how time- consuming and emotionally draining it is without having to think about future problems from people who don't pull their weight.
If it's not horrible to have to constantly think about how to cover one's back, I don't know what is. And yes 7DW, these people will take the risk because they care.
Hopefully what goes around, comes around if Op's suspicions are correct:mad:

chesky369

problem is with all postings, you can't hear the tone of voice, so yes I agree with you sloughflint - in fact, I only made the comeback because I was sure if I didn't, somebody else would. (and I was feeling guilty about taking things off-topic)

Percybridge

Thank you to many of you for your help in this area.

I went to visit a solicitor the other day and virtually echoed the advice given in JohnW's post.
I really do need to claim that attendance allowance.

She also thought that Sloughflints idea about writing to the children was excellent and I shall certainly be following that advice.

I was however a little disappointed by some of the comments about the children who made comments without really understanding the background.

In particular

margaretclare wrote: »

Hello Percybridge



I'd better not say what I think of her children, who are anxious to inherit the 'right amount', have no time to visit your Aunt but think you are 'wasting money and should choose the cheapest option'. My comments would not be suitable for a public forum and in fact would be unprintable!

HTH

Margaret

The children have in the past loaned their mother large amounts of money when her investments were tied up etc and were told after it was loaned "well you will get it back when I go". I can therefore sympathise with them on this point.

Their mother has always been a difficult woman, and I think now that she is reaping what she has sown. She gets no mothers day cards for example. I always think that when this happens and adults "forget" mothers days, there is rarely not a reason.

It upsets my grandmother that there is so much upset in the family and my great aunts children visit her a great deal - probably a mother substitute, so when she reads judgemental comments like those above (she is a lurker here, not a member) she gets quite upset.

I suppose I should have written the circumstances in full when I asked for the advice, but I didn't think I needed to.

Thanks once again, in particular Sloughflint, biggles and JohnW

sloughflint

Percybridge wrote: »

I suppose I should have written the circumstances in full when I asked for the advice, but I didn't think I needed to.

No, you really did not need to at all. These forums are useful for gaining information and that is all.Your business is no-one else's.
I do agree that some posts on MSE can be far too judgemental and think that sensitive posters can be put off. People really do need to think hard and be cautious before posting without knowing all the facts and I have said this before in places.
I like most people on this thread probably thought the same about the children because believe me, it does happen but it really should not matter what we thought or think. I hope your relative isn't too upset after reading the thread.
Good luck.

missile

I am pleased to hear you have consulted a solicitor. In addition to expert advice, this should protect you in the event of any future claim that you spend your aunt's money recklessly.