What impact has applying for csa had on you?

I,M_SAD

I read this site regularly.I had a particularly bad day with csa yesterday.I am getting nowhere fast with a D.O.E.insitu since aug 06.It remains unpaid still and whilst origianally I had hoped it was going to be an error which would resolve,it really appears to have got the better of me of late.
I just don think after yesterday I can keep putting myself through it.
What I find so unbelievable is the going round and round,there is no resolvement to this case or many cases I read about.

Bar the principle of maintenance,etc,I know what really got to me yesterday after just working a 50hour week,I was tired,feel so overwhelmed trying to be everything to the kids,coping with trying to do well in my job and had £85 bank charges.I felt so unbelievably angry,I am pretty good with money but have budgeted using maintenance as part of my income.After yesterday I really dont think I can get csa sorted.I have tried all avenues,nrp,works for a very large organisation,well paid,nothing changed since doe arrangement,bar he earning more!!

However I felt like a complete nutter yesterday,I shouted,cried and I mean for for so long csa said they had better ring me back.I couldnt speak anymore.I dont think ive ever felt so distraught,its not like me really.Even I was embarrassed at how upset I was,I couldnt sleep last night partly through worry about money but partly at how I behaved yesterday.It has really bothered me
I am not computer literate and I was interested in the poll that Nat.B,put on the site.

I am interested if anyone,it doesnt have to include anything personal,feels that their mental well being is affected by the problems with csa.
Obviously I am not implying csa are responsible for my feelings yesterday,I am.
I am not in debt at moment but I am going ovedrawn alot at moment which you could say is debt,what I mean is I am not borrowing further money.I read the debt site regularly so am aware that is a no,no.

How does everybody else cope with the csa when it fails parents with care.I also am interested in NRP,S views.Have any of you suffered anxiety at csa,s lack of communication,information.
Whilst I have no contact with either of my children,s fathers,my 1st husband has emmigrated to avoid paying csa.He has written that to my oldest daughter too in a letter.Whilst that is his choice,CSA still allowed arrears in excess of £6000 to accrue,he was also employed by the government and they never secured a penny.
Whilst my ex second partner.also played the merry dance of paying maintenance,after my experience with csa I allowed 5months after having my 3rd child before which I believed was fair to him to start paying maintenance.He never complied with csa,hence doe.Whilst I dont believe the 2nd NRP is not paying via his employees doe,I think he is so it is not a criticism of paying NRP,S,albeit with their arm twisted.I do believe that when a maintenance assessment gets to a doe point,it has an impact on the parent with care that it has got to that point.

I argued with everybody yesterday dealing with my csa,doe case and it I believe that it affects you as a person,a parent,and a human being.Enemes I am interested in how you feel as whilst my experiences are with fathers,It is how the impact of dealing with an gvt.based organisation for the welfare of children for any parent experiencing difficulties with csa has had on you.It is not gender based,I am interested in how the failures of csa make you feel.

I,m not too sure what I will do with any feedback from this thread but if it does get a good response,my middle son is extremely computer literate so will get him on board to help me compile something,maybe a survey,any input will be appreciated,anything that you think will point me in the right direction,a better wording or evaluation of how important I think coping with csa is,how stressful it is or even if you have had excellant treatment from csa ,that is important too.


Probably good points to incude are which section of csa you deal with.

what stage are you at,no response,awaiting an assessment,what is nrp,s employment status,self employed,employed.

denial of paternity claims holding up csa assessment when parent with care compliant with every proceedure and happy to go ahead with dna tests.please if you have had that response and feel bewildered at that,reply,tell me,I have also gone through that with csa,dont be put off responding even if the trauma of that has been alot for you.

Is anybody at ombudsman stage,had a good response,felt ombudsman,mp,complaints resolution officer ineffectual.This is not a criticism of of certain people but a factual response from the complaints proceedures of csa.Do they work,etc.
Thank you to everybody who may respond.please add comments,or anything else you think necessary,your experiences.

NAT.B_2

Hi there I'M sad,

Not sure if youve read any of my posts? Im angry the way the CSA have dealt with my hubby case and how many mistakes are due to some CSA staff giving us the wrong information!

My husband and I had our first arugment not so long ago(were newly married) all to do with the CSA and I felt so crap that it had come this far, what a thing to ROW about! You cant even imagine how this is affecting our lifes at the moment, my hubby is sooooo laid back and im not, I stress quite alot!

I am very peed at the whole system and I am trying to get as much information on CSA as possible? Not sure what I going to do with it when I get it! lol

We are last stages of apeal thorough the CSA, we have contacted our MP so next step P.O once our apeal get thrown out again for the third time!

I have also complained to Watchdog, 10 downing street website, I have e-mailed Freedom of Information Act asking how many complaints do the CSA receive each year.

After reading looby post about her friend "EX was not ready" that make me so mad, some loving caring fathers are denied the right to see there children and fight with every last breath in there body. Where as some just Leave and think they can get away with it.
My husband would in all honesty still been with mother of there children now if she hadnt of had an affair. He was put of women for some time. lol shouldnt laugh really!


Im only new to PC/internet up until recently wow its open up a whole new porthole for me! So Please excuse my computer literatcy!

I'm sad are you planing anything with the informtion you get form here?

NAT.B_2

Oh and another thing me and hubby was talking last night, what if our apeal gets thrown out by Tribunal and P.O we are goin to have to pay the S.O.S £10.000, we have not got that sort of cash.
Hubby is in debt from a loan he had when he started up his own business(should be paid off in next 4 years.)

But then with £10.000 on top of that how would we pay all of it? my thought and not a god one, apply for a loan pay CSA off £10.000 and hubby declair him self bankcrupt. Certinaly not ideal but we couldnt possily afford to live with all this extra outgoing.
Hubby would then have to work for a employer, no handing the business over to boys when there older.Which was the plan.

So much to think about.....

kelloggs36

The way I have had to look at it is that I had never had the money and therefore budgeted (as difficult as it was) to do without. That is not to say that I gave up because there was no way on this Earth that I was going to give up. It meant though that I never depended on it and viewed it that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain in the end. Don't let it get to you - yes, get angry at the time because that is natural, but don't let it run your life. Calm down each time and then take stock on what your next action should be. YOu have no choice but to take it all at one step at a time - otherwise it will drive you mad.

enemes

Hi I'M SAD.

Sorry to hear that the whole system is getting you down. It is the feeling of despair, and the frustration of knowing that it is all out of your hands ... a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness.

I had waited a couple of years before I went to the CSA, partly, well, mainly because I had heard so much negativity and that the actual process would be too stressful to be worthwhile ... as you have been finding out. However, I have to say that I was talked into it, because it was an obligation I had for my children's sake, let them grow up knowing that their mother has provided for them. I know myself, that I will probably not see much in the long run anyway, but I can never be accused of not trying.

Having said that, my experience with the CSA hasn't been as fraughtful as I had expected. OK, they lost my application for about three months, which made me complain and then go through my MP. That was three months ago, and we are nearly at resolution, though more of the problems have been caused by the NRP, once the CSA actually got things going.

My most stressful experiences have been dealing with other government agencies, who can't quite get their head around that I am a MALE PWC! Getting Child Benefit, was a hassle, getting Tax credits a nightmare etc etc.

Although I can fully appreciate the feelings that you are going through, I know my experiences have been a lot better than others who are here also. I went in, not ever expecting to get anywhere with them, and if I do get something for my children, then it is a bonus ... thus my expectations are a lot less than, perhaps, yours.

Depending on how your case has progressed, did the CSA ever notify you that you would be getting payments, ie some sort of notification of payments. I wonder if you are in a position to to claim from the CSA your bank charges which hopefully you can prove were as a result of CSA negligence.

Whatever you do ... please don't give up, any money you get through the CSA is for your children's sake ... do it for them, giving up would be letting them down.

You know what we all need ??... a BIG night out together ....
:beer:

enemes

I,M_SAD wrote: »

Whilst I have no contact with either of my children,s fathers,my 1st husband has emmigrated to avoid paying csa.He has written that to my oldest daughter too in a letter.Whilst that is his choice,CSA still allowed arrears in excess of £6000 to accrue

Did he emmigrate to one of the reciprocal countries?

Have you tried here? http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/setup/remo-countries.asp

or here http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/PDF/leaflets/misc/outsideuk.pdf

newlywed

From the point of view of a NRP it's not easy either. The day OH got the forms they rang him and badgered him to give details over the phone saying he only had 7 days to return the form. He wanted to sit down and work through the form to check all the information he gave was correct. He sent it off within the 7 days and immediately started paying the maintenance when they requested. But he also sent off the extra form for a previous joint loan that he is still paying to be taken into account as she stopped paying anything into it.

They have taken over 6 months to work that bit out. They don't phone him, won't write to him to tell him what's happening, they took 5 months to send the PWC the form to ask her opinion. He had to phone them so many times to ask what was happening and they didn't seem interested. They said only 3 people deal with variations and it was on one person's desk and they were away etc etc. They were overly quick to ring him for the initial set up of payments - about 6 hours after he got the form (which he fully co-operated with) but when it came to him asking for a variation - well they didn't seem bothered.

Thankfully they have now sorted it out (though for a lesser amount as PWC told them it was half the actual loan amount and OH gave up as he was fed up trying to get them to sort it out) and taken it into account, and backdated it but at one point it didn't look like they were going to bother doing anything about it at all.

Very frustrating.

enemes

NAT.B wrote: »

He was put of women for some time. lol shouldnt laugh really!

I know the feeling :eek:

pinkpig08

My OH is a NRP and to be honest things have run smoothly for most of the time. The only upset is when we have had to change the amount because of a change in wages - it just takes so long for them to sort it out and get it right, and all the while he was paying more than he could really afford until it was sorted - they then owed HIM money. Now he has changed from a voluntary DEO to Standing Order which again is causing problems. They didn't send the instruction to his company in time which meant they took an extra payment, OH has not received this back yet. They send us letters with new amounts which are totally different to the first ones they sent. So in the end OH has decided to pay what we know is owed on the dates we were first told. His income hasn't changed - only the method by which he pays. CSA have been supposed to ring him back on 5 different occasions and never have.

You just get fed up keep ringing up and they don't actually sort anything out. Anyway OH knows he has paid the correct amount on the correct date - let CSA wrap themselves into a mess!

Rant over :rolleyes:

gypsyjanet

A top divorce lawyer was on the TV this morning and she quite blatantly said that the CSA does not work and that the government was in the process of planning to stop it and replace it with something else . She was very critical with this government and said that they had had ten years to fix it and they had failed to do so. She advised people who were having problems with the CSA that were being left unresolved to take the avenue of a judicail revue.
I followed the CSA complaints procedure when they failed to respond to any communications I made to them even when they were asked to do so by the Independant Complaints commision. The ICC finally made the CSA pay me compensation for not following their own procedures.
I want to take the judicial revue route now but the one problem I have is in order to do this I have to contact my MP and he has written to me and said that he would prefer it if I did not contact him !!!
I bet no one can beat that one then for frustration .....of course I will get in touch with him .
Advise to all who deal with any government department ... Keep copies of everything , send even the most mundane of communication recorded delivery and if you cannot tape record your phone calls then try not to use the phone!
I recorded five phone calls one morning that I made to the CSA to get a quick answer to a simple but vitally important question, all made one after the other , each time I phoned I was told I had been put through to the wrong department and that I would be transfered.... what happened each time was that I was put on permenant hold with no one getting back to me. Finally I was informed by a lady who said that she could not give me the information that I required as I was not permitted to have it. I actually just wanted confirmation of some information they had already given me.
There should be a government health warning on the application forms for child support to warn you not to procede with you application if you are fully compus mentus and have have a disposition of normality as this could be severely altered after several years of a frustrating wait to do right by your children!!!!!

Sensemaya

Janet

"I want to take the judicial revue route now but the one problem I have is in order to do this I have to contact my MP and he has written to me and said that he would prefer it if I did not contact him !!!"

Not true!

I hope you have exhausted all procedures first before embarking on Judicial Review.

If you have contact Forshaws Solicitors:

http://www.forshaws.co.uk/csa.asp

If you are eligible for public funding even better - otherwise it gets very expensive.

I would keep on contacting your MP. That is what he is there for. To help you!