What impact has applying for csa had on you?

supersavershal

My OH is a NRP he has no problem with paying through the csa via doe but the csa continually mess it up.They said he was in arreas because they worked it out wrong, fair enough but then said he owed £600 but the payment schedule meant he would pay £800.We got that sorted following many phone calls, emails and finally an official complaint.Then we had another baby so he rung to tell them they come back and said payments would go up??? finally got that sorted he had paid to much so arreas should have been paid earlier , csa couldnt understand that.Took 3 months to sort that out then in January received a letter saying OH had overpaid by £100 so they were increasing his payments to cover this??? We tried phoning but it was so stressful that we have decided to just go with the flow, hopefully its not for too much longer.And all this for a child that OH ex put holes in condoms to trick him into conceiving then slept with 6 different men whilst he looked after said child.And the ex now lives with a new man who works yet she claims to be a single parent, on income support with rent and council tax paid.Ive been with my OH for 15 years but will not marry him until csa is stopped they will not get a penny of my wages, his child will get no claim on my house (mortgage and assets in my name), my wages and everything I have worked for will go to my boys.
I have never objected to him paying, but sometimes there is 2 sides to a story and you shouldnt always feel sorry for the mothers.He didnt want a child with her and she cut the condoms, she told me that with great pride, she said she wanted a house and couldnt get one with no children.
I have always said to OH if he leaves I will not pursue him through csa I will support my boys myself with my hard earned cash.
I know this sounds harsh but my children mean the world to me and I go to work to make sure they get what they need whilst OH ex sits on her lazy backside and my OH provides for her child which he didnt want to have and my boys were planned.I know its not the childs fault but its made things very strained, we agreed early on to never let it come between us.