'Gifted' child

fiscalfreckles

I think 5 is too young to make this kind of "diagnosis" - delightful though it is to hear!

You have been informed, so it is something to keep an eye on, and check with his teachers regularly. I would not move schools at the moment, he is obviously happy and doing well - and has teachers who appreciate his abilities - where he is.

As he gets older though, you can consider whether his school is providing the support & stimulus he needs.

My eldest is very gifted, and her nursery teacher picked it up, but I have been quite determined not to hothouse her and let her enjoy her childhood. The thing that you & the staff must watch out for is that your child doesn't get bored (as this can lead to distraction & naughtiness!), but our school was always very good throughout foundation & KS1 at differentiating any work set, making sure that she had the right level of reading book etc - but really any school should do this automatically.

She didn't really have extra work set until the juniors (Y3). Now she is at secondary school, she does extra classes.

One of the most important things you can do for him is to help him enjoy school and enjoy learning. So let him play and have fun. Although he may need different stimuli to others in his class, he needs the social and play skills at this point in his life, as a basis for the future.

Gifted children have to develop an ethos of wanting to learn and do well, as there is nothing more disappointing to a parent as a bright child who won't do their best because they don't want to (and we've had times like this - usually when my daughter felt that being "different" was a negative thing, or when she felt pressured.)

Good luck!

anonymousie

splishsplash wrote: »

I'll probably be slated for this, but here goes anyway...
My kids are all academically very bright - have consistently scored in the top 1-2% of all the national staged tests through primary school, and the eldest will be sitting Junior Cycle state exams at the end of the year and is expected to do very well by all her teachers.
I was also lucky academically, my family is 'knacky' that way.
I thought long and hard about what it is I want for my children and what they would be most grateful for at the end of the day.
I've always thought having a higher than average IQ is a bit useless on it's own - it must be balanced by achieving in other areas to make a well-rounded person who is strong and capable and able to face and succeed in the world. As well as working on our mental abilities, we need to develop our physical, emotional, spiritual, social and societal abilities to do well.
Therefore I made the decision early, that by being too focused on just the mental , I might be upsetting the balance in other areas.
Now I tend to relax about homework, and push the areas where more effort is needed... for example DD1 is highly achieving mentally and socially, spiritually she is interested in music, art and religion, but doesn't push herself to achieve in the area of physical activity and is lukewarm in her interest in societal issues... so those are the areas I try to work on with her.
DD2, on the other hand, achieves well academically, is passionate about some societal issues, is ok physically, but faces more challenges socially and spiritually, so I work on those areas with her.
DS is doing well at the moment, so not particularly pushing anything with him presently...

Maybe I'm going about it all wrong, but I just wonder what it is exactly we hope to achieve at the end of the day by pushing someone to achieve more in an area they already excel in, particularly if it involves alienating them from the mainstream and cuts into those other areas I've waffled on about!

Just a slightly different perspective... for what it's worth...

ITA with this!!!

You son is a lovely bright able academic child, but surely he needs a "rounded" start in education rather than a situation where he goes to oxbridge at 12 and drops out academically at 20, having never developed any socal skills along the way, so no friends etc??

WE knew our kids were bright but made a positive choice to send them to the local primary,though we are fortunate that we have grammar schools with high standards here for secondary education.

We actually encouraged non academic skills our of school rather than doing academic stuff and this seems to have worked out. DD1 is 14 now (we never ask for "statistics" of how bright she is but she was form prize- so top in exams and probably in the brightest 20 in Birmingham of her age by deduction). I asked her if she thinks we should have done anything differently ree schools and she felt that primary was often not very interesting (year 6 was deathly) and she wasn't even very popular, but she wouldn't have wanted to go to a different school, and did build strong friendships and grow life skills (her best mate then is still her best mate!)

DS is at the parallel grammar to his sis (single sex) and yr7- totally happy now academically having fun, but loveling the rest of school too- he was bullied at primary but with help, and a good book he got through it well. We did consider prep for him and even suggested it if he continued to be sad (year 4-5 was bad) but he, again stretched his wings elsewhere, gained other friends and did OK.

DD2 is 8, who knows??

We have friends who teach in preps and they are pushy academically, which you might want....but they social mix is not the same-really they are not a "bright bunch" of kids, just ones who's parents can pay. Bullying still occurs just as much too.

Let your baby develop at his own rate, support him and make sure he has a broad friendship and skill base to go on from at secondary/uni level.

RoxieW

Hi all - thank you for your replies and advice.
I hope I'm not coming across as a pushy parent - I'm not and my main concern is that ds1 is happy. I guess I just feel a responsibility to ensure that he gets the best help to fulfill his potential.
Its not the first time that he has been mentioned in school. From starting nursery the nursery teacher asked for a word and 'informed' me that he's exceptionally bright (like I didnt know lol!) and it was mentioned last year at his parents evening where I was given some higher level numeracy work to do with him. However, yesterday was the first time that the label 'gifted' had been used. I think the examples that the teacher gave worried me a little as he's clearly operating a stage ahead of all of his classmates and I dont want him to be under challenged and held back by this.
I've never heard of 'gifted and talented' at school - I will look into that and also look into the online resources. I guess I dont have confidence in my abilities to teach him (despite getting 13 gcses's and uni degree/post grad dip myself lol!) and am afraid I'll let him down in some way.
I do try and do things with him after school but by then he's tired and really doesnt want to be doing more so I dont push it. I'd rather he was being challenged in actual school hours to be honest, rather then have to come home and do the higher level stuff with me. He goes to some clubs - football, gymnastics and swimming which he enjoys so hopefully I'm encouraging him to be a rounded individual rather than focusing on academia.
TBH the private school is out of our league financially - I will look into an assisted place though but if not I cant justify the sacrifices that our other child would have to make - its not fair.

Kimitatsu

I have to agree with all of this! My two sons are Gifted and Talented, with my youngest son I was told in year one that they could not stretch him to the boundaries of his abilities, they did not have the resources. With my eldest he was bored so didnt bother because he could go from A to D without going through B and C and really didnt see why he should!

We enrolled them into Kumon maths and english because teaching today is so different than from when we went to school. That took care of the academic side, they then go to after school clubs, karate, swimming and cubs and scouts. That sorts out the other side! As gifted and talented they are invited to attend workshops and summer schools throughout the year where they are stretched and encouraged to explore different ways of looking at things.

At 5 he is only just starting out in school and by the time he gets to 11 peer pressure will have taken over! Our local comprehensive has a G&T "centre" where some children will go to be taught seperately, which to me is a recipe for disaster! Kids dont like to be singled out as different from their friends so as long as they are happy, well rounded individuals when they are spat out of the education system why change things.

You say that you could not afford for both to go to private school, in future years do you think that will seem unfair to your youngest? At 3 his academic phase is only just beginning and he may have a similar level of ability to his brother. IMO I would leave them at primary school, use other resources if you want to help them in their schooling and use the extra money to allow them to do things outside school. Secondary schooling is the time if you feel you want to send them there is where they will get the best out of your investment. Also just because the last Ofsted report was not glowing does not mean by the time your child gets there that things will not have improved.

Whatever you decide remember that your son will have to stay in full time education until he is 18, so you have another 13 years to think about.

HTH

gazzak_2

misty wrote: »

I know as a parent we want what's best for our children - however I think possibly you are letting one conversation with one teacher run away with yourself. Schools now have a gifted and talented register - gifted is for academic ability and talented for sports and arts.

Absolutely spot on.

Last year we received a letter from our eldest daughters school saying she was a gifted child and how they now offered this, that and the other for higher achieving pupils. Over that weekend every other parent we bumped into delighted in telling us that they had a gifted child

Don't waste your money for a while yet.

skim

With any kid, the best thing you can do is support him in his learning at home to supplement his school work.
I guess that's already happening by the sound of it.

In regard to Ofsted reports, I would take them with a pinch of salt. My wife is a school teacher & had an Ofsted report recently & it turned out satisfactory, the previous one had been excellent.
The only difference was a new head teacher, the kids were being taught the same - it's just the head was trying to make her mark by getting the school judged lower than it should so that she can "improve" it.

Forgot to mention - the kids that are usually the brightest are the ones that parents spend time with them in the evenings/weekends enhancing their education.

destiny_star2006

I think all children are gifted and as parents we also belive without anyone else,s say so that they are exceptionally bright!
Let your kids excel in primary school and then when there at secondary school they get put into certain classes depending on what there working at acedmically{ think thats spelt wrong lol} and if and when he excels at this then the teachers etc will advise on next steps!
Dont give him extra work or take him away from friends and routine he will probably hate you for it in near future!!!
Let him live and play and be a child and learn through this alone and he will grow beautifully xx

Spendless

Totally agree with what splishsplash has said. I know someone who has a very academic child and sent them to the 'better' state schools (miles from where they lived) over it, and totally ignored that the child lacked social skills, and would have perhaps benefitted by being in a school nearer to home. In their mid-teens they were moved to a closer 'worse' school, where the child still does well academically but is happier.

How long ago was the Ofsted done? My children are at a seperate infant and junior school. On paper the infant school is the better of the two, but the 'worse' junior school actually suits my son better, and cos he's happier there, he's working instead of spending his time hanging round the head's office. :rolleyes:

RoxieW

the ofsted was done in2006 so improvements could have been made since then - and I have no complaints with it but then the ofsted did say that year 1 and 2 teaching was better than the rest.
thanks for all the advice. i'll just carry on as we've been doing and hopefully it will be emough for him.
no i dont think its fair to have one in a private school and not the other so unless we could afford both then i dont think we'll be going down that route. will look into kumon as a possibility.
xxx

boredofbeingathome

As a teacher and a parent myself, i have to say that i agree the posts which suggest giving your child a well rounded attitude to life. I would also reccommend developing your child's interests and encouraging him in just being and playing. I know many teachers will agree that many children learn far more through interacting with their peers and through well structured play activities than through chalk and talk activities ( at this age) encourage him to discuss and think through his reasoning even if he doesn't always get the right answer its often the thought process which is important and the gifted and talented coordinator will be able to suggest activities which will encourage this.