'Gifted' child

RoxieW

Hi all
I have two children aged 5 and3. The oldest has always been an academic little thing and started school in Sept, whereas the youngest is very different and into sports and physical activities. Well, today my oldests teacher told me that he's 'gifted' and exceptionally bright and is the only one in his class who can do certain things (she gave a couple of examples). I'm obv a very proud mummy and we do quite a bit with him at home but I'm worried about not making the best of his potential.
The school he's at at the minute is the local primary, very convenient and nice enough but the ofsted reports good for year 1 and 2 and then it goes down hill towards year 6 with the other years being 'satisfactory'.
There is a private school that I've read up on with a very good reputation and results but obviously its fee paying £2500 a term and not as convenient a its further away. Now tbh, there's no way we can afford these fees and even if we could stretch for our oldest we wouldnt be able to for our other son with is completely unfair. I'm going to ask the school about any bursarys available but even with partial funding we would have to make sacrifices ie holidays etc as a family.
I guess i'm just thinking out loud but I dont know what to do for the best. Would you a) make sacrifices for private school fees
b) send one child but not the other
or
c) does anyone have any ideas on how I can get the best from him? Any home learning packs or the like that have good reputations.
I dont want his potential to be wasted but then I dont want to be playing favourites or having our other little boy sacrifice his days out/hols etc for his brother to have a 'posh' education.

Gingernutmeg

Join or NAGC for a start, and have a look at NAGTY (it's changed it's name recently, it's young, gifted and talented now) They'll tell you of opportunities and events happening locally for gifted children, and it'd be a great way of finding out what other local parents do.

Before you make the decision to send your child to a private school, have a look at what's on offer there for gifted and talented children - afaik, independent schools do not have the same requirement to identify children as G&T as state schools do, so it could be that there'd be even less available for him there than what there is at his current school. Also, lots of initiatives are not aimed at children in the independent sector so he could be missing out there too. It might be better to spend what money you do have on enrichment activities/extra classes and reassess the situation when he's at secondary level.

However, it's always worth asking the school if there's any help available. I noticed you're in Derbyshire - if you're in the Peak District, near Bakewell, it might be worth having a look at S.Anselms, they have a very generous bursary scheme which carries on into secondary (children have to be 8 to apply though, it might be something worth working towards).

There are lots of good books for and about gifted children, and it can be helpful to do some reading. One that I found helpful when I was working with gifted children while I was at uni was 'Gifted Young Children' by Louise Porter, but there are loads out there. Joan Freeman writes a lot on this subject, but her later stuff isn't possibly as helpful as her earlier books.

Supermom

Have you asked if the private school offers an assisted place, some private schools offer places with up to 70% off fees for giffted children. You may even be really lucky and be offered a fully paid place this is what happened with my brother (he got all the brains!) but this was at 11.

Good luck, it may be worth a try

beefcarrot

I am the Gifted and Talented coordinator at my school. It's a big area and one that is expanding rapidly. It might be worth finding out what your school does for the G&T children there.
There is also a website for the parents of gifted children. link

PM me if I can be of any help!

misty

I know as a parent we want what's best for our children - however I think possibly you are letting one conversation with one teacher run away with yourself. Schools now have a gifted and talented register - gifted is for academic ability and talented for sports and arts. I'm not sure if schools have independence over their G+T and what age they register children - if it starts from reception or in the older years. Ask the current school what their policy is about G+T - they will give differentiated work to children to stretch their ability.

Ofsted reports only tell a partial story - although unsatisfactory would be worrying - they are also only every 3 years and depending on how long ago their last one was - they should have addressed the areas for improvement identified last time. You were obviously happy enough when you put him in the school - I would give them a chance to push him and challenge him before taking him out just yet.

Personally at 5 - if he is happy at school - enjoying the work and not feeling bored then I would be happy with that. You can always do extra work at home with him if you want to.

I have tutored several children who are privately educated and just because you're paying for it - doesn't always make it the best - although smaller class sizes etc can help pupils achieve.

I also wouldn't send one to a private school and one to a non fee paying - but that's just me.

mintymoneysaver

A gifted child will do well wherever they are,so personally I wouldn't be paying any money for it. It is the children who find work difficult who especially benefit from the small class sizes in private schools.
As long as a child this young is happy, doing well at school and enjoying it I don't see any need to push them, they will learn when they are ready, and they will still end up with as many GCSEs A levels etc, whatever age they do them at...

Strapped

He's 5! A baby! Give the kid a break.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but as a former "gifted child" myself - don't push him too much, too early. Don't look for problems that may not arise. If he's happy at his primary, and has his friends around him, then leave him be.

conradmum

I think it would be best not to act until he's officially assessed as gifted by the school. I'm sure his teacher meant well but I think it was a little unprofessional of her to label him in that way. The term means something specific officially and the school then has to put certain things in place to meet his needs. Unless this is happening then she's potentially opening a can of worms. Is she a relatively new teacher?

If he isn't bored in classes then you can provide a stimulating environment at home and give him the freedom to learn at his own pace without pressure. To whip him out of school and put him into a private school (which, as others have pointed out isn't necessarily any better than the one he's in) on the basis of one conversation would definitely be jumping the gun.

I just googled 'gifted children' and there are a lot of resources out there for you.

splishsplash

I'll probably be slated for this, but here goes anyway...
My kids are all academically very bright - have consistently scored in the top 1-2% of all the national staged tests through primary school, and the eldest will be sitting Junior Cycle state exams at the end of the year and is expected to do very well by all her teachers.
I was also lucky academically, my family is 'knacky' that way.
I thought long and hard about what it is I want for my children and what they would be most grateful for at the end of the day.
I've always thought having a higher than average IQ is a bit useless on it's own - it must be balanced by achieving in other areas to make a well-rounded person who is strong and capable and able to face and succeed in the world. As well as working on our mental abilities, we need to develop our physical, emotional, spiritual, social and societal abilities to do well.
Therefore I made the decision early, that by being too focused on just the mental , I might be upsetting the balance in other areas.
Now I tend to relax about homework, and push the areas where more effort is needed... for example DD1 is highly achieving mentally and socially, spiritually she is interested in music, art and religion, but doesn't push herself to achieve in the area of physical activity and is lukewarm in her interest in societal issues... so those are the areas I try to work on with her.
DD2, on the other hand, achieves well academically, is passionate about some societal issues, is ok physically, but faces more challenges socially and spiritually, so I work on those areas with her.
DS is doing well at the moment, so not particularly pushing anything with him presently...

Maybe I'm going about it all wrong, but I just wonder what it is exactly we hope to achieve at the end of the day by pushing someone to achieve more in an area they already excel in, particularly if it involves alienating them from the mainstream and cuts into those other areas I've waffled on about!

Just a slightly different perspective... for what it's worth...

bunty109

I think there's an assumption that because a school is a private school then the perhaps the children who go there are brighter. One of my friends commented on how a child she knew had a great chance of passing an aptitude test for an extremely hard to get into state school, because he's currently at private school (no other reason)!

My DD is gifted and talented: one teacher in Yr 4 did a lot of work with her but in my DD's school it isn't something they generally focus on. She's now Yr 6 and we've excellent secondaries around here that will cater for her needs. I don't think she's missed out on anything so far, and if anything it's given her time to enjoy other pursuits. She stretches herself through her music and goes to language classes in her lunchtimes ......

Personally, I'd wait and see and if you want to consider private school think about doing it later as I think the advantages to be had are greater at secondary level (if at all - depends on your local choice of schools). This will give you a chance to perhaps make some savings and look into bursaries etc more fully. I would also find it hard to privately educate one child whilst state educating the other: I would want to offer all my children the same even if they chose differently.

Phirefly

Another perspective....

Things have changed in the short time since I was at school (I'm now 28). The famous story that's reeled out at every family occasion is the one where aged 5 I snuck out of school mid-morning on my first day and ran home. Not because I was exceptionally naughty, but because I found the whole experience such a crushing disappointment.

I remember the emotion so well, the youngest (by a long way) of 3, I'd been excited about going to school for as long I could talk and had been asking for years when I could go to school like my big brother and sister and "get A's". When the fateful day finally came, I was so mortified at how BORED I was, I thought s*d this for a game of marbles and hotfooted it out of there. With hindsight, I was far too advanced for the reception curriculum at my village primary, but this was before the days of G+T or whatever initiatives they have now. That day set the tone for my entire school career.

I muddled through though, providing an interesting new perspective for my Mum, who thought her days of struggling with teachers were over (My big bro is severely dyslexic, not conducive for a happy school experience in the 70s) but had found a whole new challenge in getting the best support for me. My parents could not afford school fees or private tuition, and came across countless teachers over the years who couldn't cope with me.

Its impossible to speculate what the outcome would have been had I had the kind of addition academic support that's available now. I didn't really enjoy school much, my overriding memory is one of boredom. But my parents encouraged me to realise my potential and I got top grades in all of my exams, did well at university, and I've now a successful career, earning well doing a job I love. I think what I'm trying to say is don't worry too much, if you've an exceptional child, with understanding and nurturing from you they will shine regardless of their environment.