In A Mess

southernscouser

By the way I did it about 5 times. :rolleyes: Any advances on 5 anyone?

bandraoi

Why is it your debt?

I mean if this has happened before with your husband than you've both been together a while. Presumably you live in the same house, eat the same food, go out to the same places, go on the same holidays, buy the same presents for other people, use the same cars.

There is a £7000 amount on credit card debts, but is it really you over spending or is it you and your husband overspending, but you're the one who buys the food/petrol/clothes so it ends up on a credit card in your name.

Unless you've got a serious shopping habit or a gambling addiction we're not aware of I wouldn't let him blame you for all of it. Sit down and work out together what you've spent money on in the last year from your bank statements and credit card bills. Your husband might be surprised.

jessie86_2

keep your chin up life is worth a lot more than money and listen to theee good guys advice i was the same as you in december ready to commit harry carry but its january an here iam there is hope hun ps your husband loves u

yellowmonkey

Hi

SS only the once for me

Carry. As SS says it is only money. I have consoldated and now owe loads but there is always a way out. It is a long way off for me but nothing can be that bad that you think the unthinkable. I have a way out and there IS one for you. Take a deep breath and no matter how bad it seems at the moment it will not be as bad when you look ahead with a solution and face it head on. This board is really good for support and help and most of the time there is someone online to listen/help 24/7

Good luck

ym

locutus2003

Carry

Hi there. Please do an SOA (see the sticky at the top of the board) and people really will be able to help you here. Honestly - everyone here's been in the same boat.

Please, please, please, please, please try not to worry. As SouthernScouser says - get hold of the Samaratins if you are feeling suicidal - please do speak to them - they're very good.

Otherwise, why not tell us the whole thing? The advantage of this is that no-one knows who you are in the outside world and you can be entirely honest. It will really help to talk about it.

Please look after yourself and keep posting. I'm sure we can help.

Lemon_Tree

i consolidated twice before i saw the error of my ways, it's just realising you're in for a long slow road rather than the quick easy fix that is advertised.
I'm sure once you've sat down and gone through everything things will look more achievable and not so insurmountable.
As has been said before you will get lots of support on here so stick around with us durning your journey.

marksandsparksgal

Carry, sit yourself down, have a cup of tea and let everyone on here help you, they're an amazing bunch!

Sending you a hug.

_-*Sally*-__3

Carry - PLEASE PLEASE talk to your husband - he might surprise you!

My husband has consolidated debts (which we have built up on a sort of joint basis - he spent the money and had the cards - but a lot of the time it was me suggesting we got this and that or did this and that - and instead

_-*Sally*-__3

Carry - PLEASE PLEASE talk to your husband - he might surprise you!

My husband has consolidated debts - which we have built up on a (sort of) joint basis - he spent the money and had the cards - but a lot of the time it was me suggesting we got this and that or did this and that -and I never questioned the actual "where the money was coming from" - as far I was aware he was PAYING it and not GETTING GREDIT - anyway instead of saying NO to my requests, he just shoved it on a card..., cards got maxed out so he got a loan (or a mortgage extension - we are on a 90% mortgage now) to pay it off.....

ANYWAY -to cut a long story short - IF ONLY he had told me about this 7 or so yrs ago we wouldnt be in half of the mess we are in now... I was oblivious until this time last week....
He thought I would ant to divorce him - I just want to work it out....

Dont underestimate the support you are likely to get !

gilligansyle

Please, please calm down. Its only money. As SS says, all money problems are fixable. Its a hard road sometimes but it can be done.you will get lots of help from people who've been there, done that and have the tee shirt to prove it. There is a thread on debt and depression where they are really supportive. ( someone remind me how to link to a thread please)

If you feel really bad, please get professional help; you haven't said if your husband knows how you feel, you must tell him.

Consolidating? Can't beat five I'm afraid, twice for me too. Now seen the light and won't be doing it again.