What can i feed the fussiest eater in the world?

valk_scot

I don't do fussy in this house. I'll do preferences, as in I'll choose Veg A over Veg B if there's no reason not to but if Veg A costs three tiimes what Veg B does then guess what? It's feeding a child an increasingly narrow lists of favourite foods only that enforces the belief that anything that they're not quite so keen on is poison. Ten years down the line and the idea is fixed in their heads, bah. I know one child that will only eat slices of cheese, not grated, and only one brand of beans etc etc and will have hysterics at the table about having things on his plate he doesn't like. He's 12. Where does this come from if not for the fact his mother didn't put her foot down a little when he was two? He's fat too, because she worries about him "not eating." To heck with that...I make sure that the kids will eat 2 out of 3 things on their plates and the third is optional, but there's no substitute.

Hubby came to me with a full set of food fussinesses too. That was twenty years ago. Now he eats almost anything. The basic message was "If I cook and shop for it then I make what I want, you can do the same." He hates cooking so much
that he got used to my cooking. I do cook a wide range of food, have to say, not just the same old, and I do take note of favorites again but that doesn't stop me from tryimg all sorts of things. The only thing he draws the line at liver though, so the kids and I have that when he's not here, lol.

Basically if one person is dictating the food choices, let them cook. And let them do everything, including the shopping and prep, while you sit and watch the telly or go to the pub or a hobby, just like far too many blokes do. Then you (as less fussy person) eats what's there. This may be pretty awful, but at least someone else cooked it!

lynzpower

jenner wrote: »

oh god, this is exactly the scenario here, i am a control freak, i think he ueses all the wrong knives and pans and i also dont know why i let it bother me so much, i need to relax more

Jenner,

I have to say I used to be the same TBH- I get that from my dad who is a nightmare - he can get really agitated and aggro about it! I noticed I did it too. I knew I had to ease off before OH came at me with the wrong knife :rotfl:

Like any MAJOR issue in any relationship, there are two people here, an action and a reaction. With a bit of time and patience I cant see why you both couldnt try to get along on this. It does sound like hes really "stuck" with the loss of his mother, and really at this stage, a good idea might be for you to think about some sort of therapeutic help for you both, some space and support to work it through. In the end what you seem to want is harmony- and your frustrations at not getting it are obvious! I totally agree that within 6 months of moving in together, the honeymoon stage should still be on, but for us, we struggled for a while. Poor lamb couldnt cook anything when he first came to me. However, I taught hoim everythng I know, as hes much more patient than me a lot less of his cooking gets burned as opposed to me!

Some things Im strong on, some things hes good at. He portioned a chicken off a diagram the other day off the internet. I was really really proud of him actually. He would NEVEr have done that before we met.

Another more practical solution would be to get a small second freezer ( freecycle) and do large slow cooker stews- and put them into "his " freezer hot. He can then choose what he wants - there are hundreds of different stews and casseroles, pork, chicken, sausages, beef, lamb, etc etc. You can then have a heated bean soup or whatever youve whisked up and a salad or whatever you fancy. You need to find a way of removing the battlefield !
Hang in there x

greenbee

jenner wrote: »

in fact the more i think about it the more i like the idea of simply going on strike. everyday he will quiz me about where the ingredients came from for the food. when did i buy it, when was it opened, how long has it been in the freezer for etc etc. actually i dont know why im even bothering!

I have to say, I'd probably be creative with the truth when asked these questions

Penelope_Penguin wrote: »

It's a shame you couldn;t have been a bit more enthusiastic That way, maybe he'd be keener to have another go in the future

I had this discussion with my mum when my dad started cooking (she'd gone back to college so he cooked occasionally, and then she broke her back, so he did ALL the cooking for a while!). They both like completely different food, but have learnt that either they can eat what the other cooks and live with it, or have the hassle of doing the cooking, but eat what they want. So some days one of them wants to cook and it's great - other days each of them is telling the other that it's their turn! They still like different things, but at least the workload is shared.

I'd also suggest that a good compromise is for both of you to cook without salt, but have salt and pepper on the table so you can season how you like. You may find, if he isn't used to salt, that he enjoys your food more if you make it without salt.

I think your biggest issue is getting round the storage issue. If you can explain to him that it will make life easier for both of you, and mean you have more time to spend doing nice things together, then perhaps you can get him to focus on what he sees as the issue with freezing etc, and talk about working through it together - providing the evidence that refrigeration and freezing are good ways of preserving food. Then you can look at things like making vegetable casseroles when you make a meat stew, so it looks & feels as if you're having the same meal, but yours is lighter. Cook potatoes for him to have with his, and some pasta or coucous for you. He may start to be interested in what you are eating.

pupsicola

Id make him cook for himself. Seeing how hard it is catering for such a fusspot might entice him to try a few more things. Why is he so food phobic, does he have allergies.

No ideas to be honest, sorry

sazzy6

I am pulling my hair out with my OH! He has such expensive taste and will not eat any of the typical vaule meals. He loves meat and plenty of it and turns his nose up at salads, lentils, cheese, pasta, mash/jacket pots argh!!!!!!!! There could be OS murder on my hands!

Am I alone?

jc2703

You are not alone! Veg wise mine will only eat sweetcorn or dried peas, doesn't eat fish or lamb, won't eat couscous (he calls it scary rice!) doesn't eat jacket spuds but to give him his due he will try things and does love stewing steak done in the slow cooker!

I also have 2 fussy teenagers who won't eat pasta ...nightmare!

J x

MRSTITTLEMOUSE

We're vegetarian,always have been but even so my OH has always been fussy.
Mind you my daughters all say it's my own fault as I spoil him.
I suppose it's hard to change the habit after 38 years but if anyone has any suggestions I'd be willing to listen.;)
All I know is I'd be happier to eat much simpler if I was coooking for myself.

sazzy6

Well JC, although I feel your pain, I do feel slightly better knowing is someone else out there coping with a Mr Fussy! Have you found any good value meals that he and your children will eat. I best I can do is spag bol (he will eat spaghetti 'sometimes') but if I try to bulk it out with lentils etc I get a full plate going in the bin and him raiding the fridge.

sazzy6

MRSTITTLEMOUSE wrote: »

We're vegetarian,always have been but even so my OH has always been fussy.
Mind you my daughters all say it's my own fault as I spoil him.
I suppose it's hard to change the habit after 38 years but if anyone has any suggestions I'd be willing to listen.;)
All I know is I'd be happier to eat much simpler if I was coooking for myself.

If he was vege he would be dead by the end of the month. :rotfl:

jamespir

have you tried hiding things like you do with kids
mixing the stuff he does like with stuff he doesent my five year old turns his nose up at carrot but i stick them in with mash and he loves it