Health problems - should I quit or struggle on?

jovian

Hello, I'm new here, and looking for any advice about a problem that's really affecting my life.

I've had mild to moderate chronic fatigue syndrome for over 4 years now (and should anyone wish to question the legitimacy of this condition, let me just clarify that although the term tends to be a dumping ground for a whole spectrum of fatigue-causing maladies, it is very real, almost always biological in origin and I have been professionally diagnosed).

I'm not too ill to work, though - in fact I've worked full-time at the same job for the last 5 years, performed pretty well, and I've enjoyed a great deal of what I do. The problem is, however, that by working I'm in fairly constant discomfort and distress, and the 9-5, early mornings, commute, stress etc are hindering my ability to really ever get well. I may be earning money but cannot really enjoy evenings or weekends because I'm constantly wiped out. I've been holding onto the hope that just around the corner I'll find a cure, but the reality is that so long as I stick at my job, I may never fully recover. After 5 years I'm also now getting very bored of my job - I can't face more stress so have turned down the offer of promotions - but cannot face going for another full-time job. High paying part-time jobs seem extremely hard to find and freelance work (writing etc) pays too sporadically for me to fund the mortgage and bills, let alone all the health supplements I need to keep me going.

I've saved up about 10 grand (that's what never going out and not being able to drink do for you!) but don't have the guts to quit outright because it's my emergency fund for if my condition ever deteriorates and I'm physically unable to work anymore. I believe that getting disability benefit for chronic fatigue syndrome is notoriously difficult, and it wouldn't be enough to pay the mortgage - I can't face losing both my job and my house!

What would you do in my shoes? I see my options as:

1) quit, live off my savings for 6 months or so, hoping that my health improves a bit, then reapply for fulltime work (although this may just leave me still ill but broke, there are no guarantees)
2) struggle on with it and hope I get better
3) apply for another full-time job that might be less stressful (I've always had problems downgrading jobs, however - employers seem sceptical, plus the daily grind would be similar wherever I go)
4) admit to my employers that I have health problems and ask for a different work arrangement, but in doing so risk being laid off
5) find part-time or freelance work that will somehow be enough to pay my mortgage
6) or, er... something else, which I clearly haven't thought of yet.

I'd really appreciate any help with this, as it's a dilemma that I seem completely unable to resolve. Sorry for the epic post, and thanks for reading (if you got this far!).

scottishlass

If it was me I would first of all talk to your Employer about your options ie could you reduce your hours/work from home/go part time etc (depending on your job)

If the above resulted in a No then I think it would be best to look at Part time work that would supplement your savings and allow you to hopefully build back your strength etc.

Good Luck x

ceridwen

How much would it cost to pay off your mortgage? (I'm wondering how far your savings and any payoff you got from the job - if THEY, not YOU, got rid - would go towards getting shot of that mortgage).

jovian

ceridwen - me and my partner have over £150k of the mortgage to pay off, not gonna happen in a hurry, sadly!

scottishlass - I'll definitely consider this. I just hope I could find part-time work where I use my skills - most part-time jobs seem to be reception shifts etc - I did this in the past and it drove me up the wall! But beggars can't be choosers, I guess.

Savvy_Sue

I would start by having a think about whether there are simple things which would improve things - eg reducing your hours, or even reducing to 4 days per week and having Wednesdays off to recover - and then go to your employer and ask. Or are there things which could be done to improve the environment for you, eg a quieter workspace or near a window?

I think they would be on dodgy ground to get rid of you, because I think you could claim that you are disabled by the CFS, even though you may not be able to claim DLA. (And you're right, it's very difficult to claim for your condition, and I'd say doubly so if you are managing to hold down a full-time job!) And if you are disabled, then you can ask for reasonable adjustments.

If you don't get any responses to what I've said above (because I could be talking off the top of my head here!), this might be something worth asking ACAS, or one of the ME / CFS support groups, or your consultant.

TigerAngel11

I went down the "quit and live off my saving for a few months" route. I don't recommend it. I'd advise you to look for another, more suitable job.

jovian

TigerAngel11 - Can I ask why you wouldn't recommend it? How did things turn out for you? Would you have any advice if I did end up doing this?

Savvy_Sue - This is probably the most sensible approach, I guess, but I do worry about asking for such changes without a doctor's note. Also I hate the idea of being singled out for special treatment at work, and all the attention and resentment from others that could result, but I guess I have to prioritise my health.

Savvy_Sue

jovian wrote: »

Savvy_Sue - This is probably the most sensible approach, I guess, but I do worry about asking for such changes without a doctor's note. Also I hate the idea of being singled out for special treatment at work, and all the attention and resentment from others that could result, but I guess I have to prioritise my health.

If you don't, no-one else will - at least partly because if no-one else KNOWS about your problems, they can't!

Yes, there are risks, but there are risks to NOT doing anything too, so if you don't find anything suitable soon, then I would definitely consider it. If you see a consultant, would he write a letter?

Jo_R_2

I recently came back to work after nearly three months off with depression, and I have changed my working days/hours. Unfortunately not as much as I'd like, but I went from doing 30 hours (four days 9-5), to doing the four days, but now I do 10-3.30. It's a few hours difference but it means I avoid the rush in the morning with getting DDs ready for nursery/school, I can take DD1 to school myself, and when I drive to work I miss the rush hour completely. Then I can relax more at work because I'm not so stressed out thinking of leaving at 5 and knowing how long it takes to plough through the rush hour traffic.

I get home and can rest/chill out/do a bit of housework/whatever before I have to go and get the girls from nursery. It's really helped me, and work were more than happy to accommodate it.

There's no reason why you should think yr getting special treatment. It doesn't nmatter what others think, people do different work patterns for all sorts of reasons. For example, where I work, there's a lot of women and the mums do tend to be the ones who work part-time. No one bats an eyelid at that. I had to cut my hours down for the sake of my sanity, work were keen to keep me so they were happy to do whatever I suggested within reason, so we're trialling this for a couple of months, and so far it's been three weeks and going well.

Could you do what Sue suggested, maybe do four days? Could you do any work at home? Could you do shorter days? Could you even do compressed hours (or would that make you too tired the rest of the week?)

TigerAngel11

jovian wrote: »

TigerAngel11 - Can I ask why you wouldn't recommend it? How did things turn out for you? Would you have any advice if I did end up doing this?

This is very subjective and you have to bear in mind that my illness is mental - anxiety and depression - and very unpredictable. It got to the point where I was off sick so much that I was told I'd get a written warning if I took any more time off, so the next time I needed time off, I handed in my notice. I was stupid enough to believe that I was just taking a few months' "rest" to recover (I was on medication - still am! - and was on the waiting list for NHS counselling), which is what I had done before. In reality, I got a lot worse. My modest savings ran out and eventually I saw sense and applied for benefits.

What I'm actually recommending, I suppose, is that you stay within the employment or benefits systems. It's a lot easier in the long run (because of the gap where I was neither working nor receiving benefits, I might face a possible issue in applying for student finance as an independent student) and there's the fact that if you can't do the job you're doing, you have a right to receive benefit or at least help in finding a more suitable job. I recommend you meet someone at the Job Centre to discuss your options. The main reason I didn't claim benefits straightaway was that I felt I was a burden on the world and didn't deserve them - which is obviously tied in with my mental illness. It didn't help having an uncle who told me there was nothing wrong with me either. The fact is that anyone who cannot work through illness deserves financial help.

You also have to bear in mind that I have few financial responsiblities. I live with my parents and although I pay rent, they're not exactly going to chuck me out onto the streets if I couldn't (though they did put it on my bill and I had to pay them back!). The only other responsibilities I have are a dog and sponsoring a kid in India. I wasn't going out at all either, so my expenditure was about £200-250 a month, but even that ran out shockingly fast since I had just under £1500 in savings. You have more savings, but I assume you also have more outgoings. I regret losing my meagre savings, although I'm now trying to scrape together all I can for university, as it would be a great help to have them now.

If you do end up doing this, plan your budget carefully (remembering that we usually spend more than we think) and keep your eye out for any jobs that you might be able to handle. I also recommend doing a course or something, as it could help your career and is a great way to meet people, as well as building self-esteem by feeling that you're doing something worthwhile. This was especially important for me given my insecurities and something I've only felt able to do recently - I started a Psychology A level in September.

You could also use the extra time to research anything you want to do with your life or volunteer - though you can do this while receiving benefits. I don't know how much benefit you'd receive (obviously!), but chances are you'll end up eating a little into your savings even whilst on benefits. Because I ran out of savings, I've piled up a huge (to me) debt with my parents - various things seem to crop up, like my dog cutting herself a couple of times out the woods and needing staples at the vets.

As I said, it's a very subjective thing and maybe you'd find it's the best option for you. I just think it's better to stay under either employment or the benefits system, as there are unforeseen issues that can arise and be complicated if you are/were in the no-mans-land of living off your savings for a while.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works well for you. Good luck!

Leigh

ceridwen

Hi TigerAngel

Shocked to read that your parents still expect you to pay for your "keep", even when you have no income coming in.
<virtual hugs coming to you> and hope things work out for you.