Why do EAs think you will be impressed by excessive use of first names?

Nenen

Suzy_M wrote: »

Repeating names is an aide to memory. However, use of first names in a business, or other formal setting, has quite insidious beginnings - as explained to me by someone who was quite a business and marketing guru in his time.

1) The main theory is role-reversal.
People in authority are addressed by title and surname and subordinates are addressed by first names. So a salesperson, or whoever, uses someone’s first name immediately, before stating their own. This straightaway places the customer / client in the subordinate position and the sales person in the authority position. By the time the customer has corrected the status in their own mind the damage has been done.

Thanks for that extremely interesting reply Suzy... most impressive and insightful. Maybe I'm just perverse because, whilst I understand the theory you've outlined above, I'm afraid that addressing me in a way that treats me as a subordinate (paticularly by a young kid in a cheap suit ) only serves to put my back up and make me feel far more aggressive and less inclined to do business! I don't see them as an authority figure at all... more likely to view them as disrespectful, bad-mannered and ill-educated! I wouldn't trust someone who treats me as their 'best friend' on casual (business) aquaintance further than I could throw them!

Mozette

Now I prefer to be called by my first name rather than the old formal stuff. But old habits... I met one of my old teachers and was still calling him Sir, he asked me to call him by his first name, but the nearest I could get was Mr So&so; think I was scared of getting the slipper or detention!!!!

gingin_2

Nenen wrote: »

Certainly was! Wonder if they'll read this and either:
1) realise how much they annoy potential [strike]mugs[/strike] purchasers and mend their wicked ways :rolleyes:
or
2) Blacklist me!

I really only guessed because I read before that we lived in the same area and they are the only dippy/greedy agents to market most of their properties at offers over in a falling market .

Suzy_M

Nenen,

Use of my first name by total strangers makes my hackles rise too - more so in formal situations. - Apart from the sheer bad manners knowing about this theory makes me even madder with the culprits.

Phirefly

Nenen wrote: »

Certainly was! Wonder if they'll read this and either:
1) realise how much they annoy potential [strike]mugs[/strike] purchasers and mend their wicked ways :rolleyes:
or
2) Blacklist me!

Heheh thats funny because in my head I envisaged it being Haarts!

I personally am more offended by the abysmal oneliners they use as a prelude to their property details.

And Clutton, I always thought you were a boy too. Funny that

oldMcDonald

merlinthehappypig wrote: »

If we are talking about inferring things from the information to hand.........I've no idea why, but I'd always assumed that you were a gentleman, not a lady until this post.

Just shows that you can't assume anything.:o

So did I!!!

Austin_Allegro

The trouble is that there is no longer any clear ettiquette on use of names. It always used to be, that in a business relationship, you called each other by surname and title. Men on equal terms who knew each other a little would sometimes call each other by their surname only 'old Bloggs in accounts' etc but you didn't call anyone by their first name unless you knew them well and considered them a friend.

In addition to the reasons stated about youth, subordinate position etc I think another thing that confused things was women in the workplace. If you speak to a man on the phone, you can be pretty sure his title is 'Mr'; but with a woman you don't know if she's Miss, Ms or Mrs. Nobody ever gives their title anymore - they'd just say 'I'm Jane Smith' so you don't know whether to call her Miss Smith or Mrs Smith or, the horrible 'Mzzzz Smith'. Whatever you do tends to cause upset. She will either get angry and say 'I am not Ms I am Mrs!' or, 'My name is Jane' in a slightly annoyed tone.

And if I call a man Mr Smith he usually says 'call me John'...

It's all part of the 'casualisation' (if there's such a word) of society. The bit about it making people less likely to want conflict is a very good point. The old system of using titles until invited to do otherwise was better IMO, because it meant you could keep a formal distance until such time as you were ready to become more friendly. Now we have a false friendliness imposed on us from the outset.

clutton_2

I'm a boy huh ?? - well at least you think i'm young !!!!

Phirefly

I think whatever I say now I risk offending you! Its funny though how you have all these little mental images of randoms across the land who happen to have all stopped by here.

Back to the name thing, its worse if you have an abbreviatable name, especially one with loads of potential abbreviations. I physically flinch when those I'm not close to use my shortest abbreviation. I prefer Mr cheap-suit-selling-me-something to use my full Sunday name.

Nenen

merlinthehappypig wrote: »

If we are talking about inferring things from the information to hand.........I've no idea why, but I'd always assumed that you were a gentleman, not a lady until this post.

Just shows that you can't assume anything.:o

I knew Clutton must be a woman as she talks so much sense!