How does the average couple afford children?

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  • *Louise*
    *Louise* Posts: 9,197 Forumite
    MATH wrote: »
    Once you have children (I have three) you stop spending money on yourself and spend it all on them.

    Very true.
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  • nearlyrich
    nearlyrich Posts: 13,698
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker Hung up my suit! Mortgage-free Glee!
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    Looks like Bailey got her babies so I guess she knows now just how expensive they can be but I am certain she feels they are worth the expense LOL
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  • We dropped 35k a year 10 months after having our first because I hated working full time with a baby who I never saw.

    I now can't understand what we used to spend that moeny on.

    We are all happy, warm, fed and even manage the odd night out! We have just simplified our lives and budget carefully which has actually been a very liberating experience. We are now expecting our second and have no idea how we will manage but we hold on to the fact that we will manage because we always seem to.

    We have no debt and try not to stress about money too much. We also have learned to say yes to every offer of second hand baby stuff going!

    I'd never want to go back to having all that extra money but no quality of life! Family is all the riches I need!
    Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet...
  • There's never a right time to have children,we had three and at the time my husband was in a very low paid job with less wages than he would of got if he was on the dole.We managed.Our girls say they don't ever remember us being hard up.I just remember having three great kids who I would'nt part with,and lots of memories.
    We have friends and family who put off and put off and never had any,they were honest and said they would rather have bigger and better houses ,cars holidays ect.They did'nt want to struggle like we did.Now in their 50s they say they wish they had had a family,they realise they have no one to leave property,money ect .They see us with our family,our grandchildren and admit they don't know if they did the right thing.
    We caught up as our family grew we have our nice house,car, we have holidays.You can't(unless you are lucky) have both at the same time,but then again most things in life are like this.
  • JennyW_2
    JennyW_2 Posts: 1,888 Forumite
    My brother and his wife had their first baby a year ago. I'm not a mum myself and have made the decision not to have children but looking in as a big sister, I can see how financially it has affected them but I know they wouldn't change anything :D They are expecting their 2nd in October so I do worry how they will cope on one wage :(. I have 2 other brothers and along with my mum and I we help where we can. For her first year we all contributed and paid for her powdered milk as well as buying the nappies - these we will continue to do until the baby is out of them. We contributed at Christmas to buy them a new car seat which they desperately needed and bought tons of clothes etc. Guess I'll be back to buying nappies again come October but I don't mind :rolleyes:
  • starbump
    starbump Posts: 357 Forumite
    Gosh, a 3 year old thread!

    As everyone else has said, the way you "afford" children is to make compromises and sacrifices. I know it's generalising but... if you can't afford to buy property then you rent, if you can't afford to go on vacation then you stay at home, etc.

    "Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."

    As the immortal Dickens points out, it's not how much money you have but how you choose to spend it.
  • dianadors
    dianadors Posts: 801
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    To prepare ourselves, hubby and I lived on his wage alone for 2 years before we had kids - which was really tough as we were starting from scratch with a new house/furniture etc. My wage went into a savings account so that we had something to fall back on. This worked really well and enabled me to have 4 years off work as a SAHM. To cut back, we only socialised at home, bought most things second hand (including baby stuff) and not spending on unneccesary items (clothing being one area and luxury food another). I didnt find "the baby" expensive. I was offered lots of hand me downs by friends which I accepted (a lot of my new mum baby friends did look on me as a poor relation though - however, I was the only one who gave up work - all the rest were back at work within 3 months.) Incidentally, although I am back at work (as my baby is 15 years old now!) I still am very careful with money, and still regarded as the poor relation amongst friends (and I find teenagers far more costly than babies) However, we took our mortgage over a shorter period of time and have only another couple of years left to go - whereas most of them re mortgage on a regular basis (frightening amounts of money!!) to be able to afford newer cars/fancy designer clothes/expensive holidays etc. Like the above poster says - its how you choose to spend your money. One of the things I love ablout this site is that there are lots of "like minded" people on here who "judge" me on my money saving skills, and not on my lack of "labelled" clothing etc. I only have 1 friend who is like me in the "money saving" way - the rest think i'm wierd!!!
  • Hi all :hello:

    great thread lots of inspiration!
    :j Where there is a will there is a way - there is a way and I will find it :j
  • I got an email to say this thread had been posted on and looked it up. I'd totally forgotten i'd posted this. Why was it reported as spam though?

    Yes your right, I have two children now, Jack is 16 months and Molly is 4 weeks old. Its hard work as i guess many of you know. I am a full time SAHM and will be for some time yet, ironically we can't afford for me to go back to work and to be honest i'm not that bothered. I am struggling with PND, i've had it with both of them, but i'm hoping once the first few months are over it will become easier.

    Moneywise we are doing ok, no luxeries but we aren't bankrupted either. As people said in this thread, you prioritise your spending, my money now goes on the children and i only buy things we need not want.

    As to conceiving Jack took 4 months and Molly was a suprise when Jack was 6 months old. I blame that on getting married when he was 5 months old :-).

    Anyway I must go to bed, both children are now settled and you've got to grab the sleep when you can especially with a newborn.
  • izoomzoom
    izoomzoom Posts: 1,564
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
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    Why was it reported as spam though?

    A new poster dug it out from the archives and offered to solve all baby buying needs by referring to a link to their shop !
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