We are being evicted, some advice please...... the date has arrived......

webitha

hey BM have you kidnapped my son lol

my 8 yr old son has ADHD with autstic tendencies (his official diagnosis) it will take a looong time before yr DS will get his it took me monthly visits to the hospital for 3 years of observations
so believe me when i say i know what your going thro, but, take a deep breath and remember it does get better

i cant say anything about the housing situation as i luckily never have been in your unfortunate situation
i can tell you tho to get some EYEQ it is expensive at £10 a bottle but wow what a difference so much calmer and he actually concentrates now:D
also as he grows he helps himself because right now he cant quite control his "urges" and compulsions but as he grows he has some control

if you need anymore help on this score just let me know coz ive been there, bought that and still printing the t shirt :rotfl:
it is hard and always will be but it does get better

blue_monkey_2

Hi IA, No, probably a bit of both. but fingers crossed we will get there in the end. I do know what you mean though - especially with them only being back to school for a few days, I still have the shaked, LOL!!

Everything seems to be like pushing a square ball up a hill these days, I just want to make sure that everything is done in the right way from people who are in the know and then I won't be making mistakes along the way. I am still in shock from mum saying she was selling - she signed a 10 year fixed rate in June 07!! While I am trying not to worry about her anymore (I've got enough to deal with) I can't help feeling she has been lured into something wrong - maybe she has 'won' the Spanish Lottery - as she has no need for that much money through selling the house (her bf has a COUNCIL place already beleive it or not!! She is off to live\with him there but we pay for everything here, even her life insurance!), I kind of feel a little scared for her to be honest. It is a strange situation but I am trying not to get involved as I have to think about us more and everything seems to have gone t**s up since last November. Still, New Year, New Start and all that.

I am sick of smiling on the outside and feeling like crying on the inside, I've not yet told the kids we are going, I've asked mum not to put the EA board up until we have gone so that I don't have them asking where we are going because I don't have any answers and that is the bit I am dreading. I will you updated on what is happening - and if I get brand new 4 bed place with an orchard and acre of garden aren't you going to be so jealous. LOL. Think positve, think positive!! :rotfl: I just wonder how we will be able to aford that new ride on lawnmower we are going to need!!

blue_monkey_2

Hi Webitha,

I should have not spoken too soon as my laptop just took a dive, it's working though, heavens!!

You might be interested that we have a thread running on the moneysaving and families board that is an Aspergers/ASD support thread but there some of us ASD mums on there (I suspected Aspergers for my son but if they are identical maybe it is the ADHD) I know I have a long hard slog in front of me but I'll put the link at the bottom of this email so you can come and join us. It sometimes helps to have a moan at the end of a long day and there are some mums on there with much more experience that have invaluable help and advice. Most of mine if moaning though as it is still early days for us.

I wanted to cry with releif when you said you was going through the same. I sounds daft, did you see After Thomas the other day - I could only watch it in bits else I thought I would just break down in front of the kids, sometimes it is hard when you realise you are not alone, I just wish I had other mums in the area who I could link up with just so I have people to speak to about certain things, what with the house thing that seemed more important but people just assume your kids are out of control and just give you dirty looks. Each time we go to the in laws DS bites his cousins so now we don't go unless there is a big family do, i pray he grows out of the violence thing though as it tends to dominate everything we do and the places we go. DD went to a party the other day and i had to take him (I always lie and say hubby is on call as he is sometimes - but he goes balisistic if I leave with with hubby and he ends up having to lock the doors and hide the keys, he is only 3, scary) Anyway, I went to get him from the ball pool and found him fighting with this other boy in there. So it was time to go home.

I will have a look at the EYEQ, where can I get it from online, I really did mean it when I said I don't go out, hardly ever to be honest, so everything I buy has to be online. I am not sure the concentration side will something that matters until school time but anything to calm him down would be a bonus.

Thanks once again for posting, as I said, it sounds daft but always a relief when you are not in it alone and someone else is suffering too, LOL, sorry, I am sure you know how it is! I know it wil always be hard but I am looking forward to it getting better - when he is at school, ho ho, because then I finaly get a few hours back to myself!!

Here is the link to that other thread: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=7825607&posted=1#post7825607

MummyHol

I know almost exactly what you're going through & i want to say well done for not falling apart & being strong for your family :T .

I went through a very similar experience last year. I wanted to ask (sorry if you've already answered this) if you've been given a homeless officer to assist your case? If not then the council aren't doing their job properly (and i'm sure they're already doing their best to not have to deal with your application, like they did to me, my partner & our young baby).

(short version of our story) We we're private tenants & our landlady decided to sell the property (besides that she had spent our deposit which we're still trying to get back) and approached the council for help (we already had an application) and were told to sort ourselves out with private accommodation- impossible with no deposit! On the day we were finally forced to leave they put us in a hostel and while we were in there we were told by our homeless officer that we weren't entitled to emergency accomodation because we we'ren't actually homeless!!! (''obviously'' we were just living in the hostel for an adventure, or a reality tv show!!) We were finally saved by an association called SPH (St Pancras Housing). Are there any associations in your area?? SPH cover Stevenage, Barnet, Cambridge, Essex, Camden, Uxbridge, Surrey and Tunbridge Wells (Hertfordshire, Enfield & London) but you do have to get in touch with them through your local council.
The council will do anything they can not to help you- they lost my medical forms twice & tried to tell me i hadn't shown them any ID, etc. The best thing you can do is keep on at them & try not to let it get to you.

Have you considered trying to get your plight some media attention (maybe a local paper will print your story)- it'll really get the council moving (they hate bad press).

Good luck xx

MummyHol

I know almost exactly what you're going through & i want to say well done for not falling apart & being strong for your family :T .

I went through a very similar experience last year. I wanted to ask (sorry if you've already answered this) if you've been given a homeless officer to assist your case? If not then the council aren't doing their job properly (and i'm sure they're already doing their best to not have to deal with your application, like they did to me, my partner & our young baby).

(short version of our story) We we're private tenants & our landlady decided to sell the property (besides that she had spent our deposit which we're still trying to get back) and approached the council for help (we already had an application) and were told to sort ourselves out with private accommodation- impossible with no deposit! On the day we were finally forced to leave they put us in a hostel and while we were in there we were told by our homeless officer that we weren't entitled to emergency accomodation because we we'ren't actually homeless!!! (''obviously'' we were just living in the hostel for an adventure, or a reality tv show!!) We were finally saved by an association called SPH (St Pancras Housing). Are there any associations in your area?? SPH cover Stevenage, Barnet, Cambridge, Essex, Camden, Uxbridge, Surrey and Tunbridge Wells (Hertfordshire, Enfield & London) but you do have to get in touch with them through your local council.
The council will do anything they can not to help you- they lost my medical forms twice & tried to tell me i hadn't shown them any ID, etc. The best thing you can do is keep on at them & try not to let it get to you.

Have you considered trying to get your plight some media attention (maybe a local paper will print your story)- it'll really get the council moving (they hate bad press).

Good luck xx

hbl_2

Check out Shelter online, they are an awesome charity and if you can't afford legal advice on the matter, they are much better than approaching a stressed out CAB.

debrag

I've not read the whole thread but will do in a min. Have you !!!!ed your mother off or something? So why the sudden need to sell & before you have found a place.

A friend off mine was living with her mum, dad & nan she had the box room and I DO mean box room. She was pregnant and needed a council place as neither her or her OH could afford private (his mum was seling their house). She ended up sleeping on the sofa coz she couldn't sleep in her own bed (loft bed) and she actually had to be thrown out of the house by her parents before the council did anything. They told her when to turn up & to bring a letter from her parents saying they had thrown her out. She was sitting around the council offices all day till they placed her in a hotel a few days later she was given her own place. This was all last October.

blue_monkey_2

Thanks for your comments, not sure on the homeless officer, I have one lady who I speak to each time, when we have been to court we will then be able to put a homeless case forward, but by then we could have just a few weeks to get out. I think I am holding it together because I know whats coming and I can plan for it (in a bizarre way) we'll go to a B&B if we have to I guess but that is a last resort. Aparently they don;t use B&B around here anymore.

debrag - no-one knows what is going on. She probably won the Spanish Lottery ot something, something very strange is going on and we all have out suspicions, all she will say to people when she asks why they are selling is that she cannot afford to keep the house, yet she does not pay anything, we pay everything, even her life assurance, and instead of a huge rent we maintain it for her as she cannot afford to (new UPVC doors, renovated kitchen, renovated the bathroom, etc...) and it was supposed to be for her retirement and that is 10 years or more away. We were about to embark on total redecoration, which we have now stopped because we will use the stuff we bought for when we eventually get somewhere of our own. It is as much as a mystery today as it was back in November when she asked us to leave but when I asked her if she could hold off on selling until after xmas she called out to her bf in the backgroud 'can we wait until after Xmas' and he paused and said 'yes'. The thing here is that bf has not really had any interest in the property and has always said he would give anything back she left him but it was the way in which she asked him, like they needed a big amount of money for some reason, whatever it is she won't say but they are not people who have fast cars or big holidays, neither has a driving licence or passport and they are just 'locals' (think League of Gentlemen, LOL, sorry it is how it is without sanding nasty) so they have no interest in travelling or the like. It is just all very bizarre. They are quite gulible (mum used to send money to those people who sent letters saying 'send £25 to claim your prize' which would turn out to be a teapot and she would get unindated with letters, i worry they have had one of these letters promising them they have won the lottery but they have to part with money first to access it. It sounds daft but there HAS to be more to this and neither I, or my sister, can put our finger on it. Either way everyone has told me to forget about this for now and concentrate on what is important for today, which is us as a family.

Also, when I spoke to this other council lady she told me to use my deposit for another place, I said 'it's my mother I did not pay her a deposit' and she said 'well that's a bit of bad luck then'.

Does anyone know if legally they can force us to get into debt for getting a private house if we did not have funds in our bank account? We only have our overdrafts and while I would use it if I had to (and could find a private landlord) I know we would never be able to pay them back, it is a real slippery slope once you start using it with charges and the like. Does anyone know this?

blue_monkey_2

Thanks for all of that advice Mummy Hol, I will wait until they have allocated the points next week - if they have not given us the right points then I'll have to step up a gear. As I said, if I could pick and choose where I wanted rather than not know I most certainly would. It is more the uncertainty, but now I have the thread I can come back nlate next week and if I do not get what I am entitled I have somewhere to start. Would I go to the local papers? Yes for sure, I'd book myself into the cheapest B&B (saves me doing brekkie and washing up, LOL) and then I'll give them a call!! Fingers crossed it won;t come to this but I think it is more that those who shout the loudest get what they want to keep them quite, I am not a shouter and find confrontations hard, I guess I have to get myself some balls of steel and PDQ!!

MummyHol

I can't do confrontations either- they take advantage of that!

We were given a homelessness officer as soon as the council had confirmed we were being forced out with the landlady & she looked at all our finances to see if we could afford to go private (beware though- they will will only consider utility bills and cost of living when working out your outgoings unless you really kick up a fuss about having to pay any loan/credit card bills/etc and you have to prove they are from before you knew you were going to be evicted). She also tried to find us private accomodation, which really helped us because she could see that there was hardly anything suitable and nothing within our price range.

We also contacted our local MP about our situation, unfortunately they were unable to help but their office did monitor our progress from the councils side which put a bit of pressure on them to actually do something!!

I really hope you get the points you need- the waiting and not knowing is the worst part.