New arrival in a few weeks

Pete.g

Our 1st baby (a girl) is due in a few weeks. My wife is really worried about the labour process, We have already done a tour of the maternaty unit at our local hospital.

What I need to know is what can I do to help her through it?

Thanks,

Pete.

squashy

Hi and congratulations!!! I have had three children and was terrified about all the births, however my last one was by far the best as I thought beforehand about what sort of things I had in mind etc. I got a book out of the library and it literally changed my life! I preach about it to anyone who is preparing for childbirth and I would strongly recommend you buy it for her. It's this one:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Blooming-Birth-How-Pregnancy-Want/dp/0007184018/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1199900874&sr=8-1
It has a section in there for dads and is well laid out for you to dip into as and when. Have a look at the reviews as it tells you more about what the book will help you with.

During the actual labour the best advice I can give, ie what I want from a partner of mine is, to treat her as if she is fantastic, amazing and the centre of the universe, no waffling on to the midwife about the football scores and that sort of thing, to not get offended if she swears at you or treats your hand like plasticene, to be her voice if she is to weary to ask for something (so it wold be a good idea to talk beforehand about pain releif and all that jazz, that book I mentioned will help with that), to reassure her that she can do it... You sound like a lovely bloke nyway, good luck with everything!

Bettyboop

Hi, I'm due in a few weeks as well. Although this is our second child labour was indeed very scary. I don't think you can 100% prepare for it but there are some things that can make it easier. If she has a birthing ball (I think that's what it's called) she needs to take it with to hospital so that she can sit on it and move around. Take plenty to drink and some sweets and for you remove any jewelery you wear. My friend squeezed her her husbands hand so hard his wedding ring it split his finger open!!!!!!!!!!!

Best of luck with everything. I'm sure someone will be along soon with more practical advice.

flutterbyuk25

Aww you sound like a lovely hubby!

No advice sorry as I'm yet to have kids. Except do you/her have any female friends or relatives that could maybe talk her through their experiences and let her know what to expect?

Good luck with it all

x

geekgirl

I would say sit down and work out a birth plan together, then you can make sure that you are her voice if she is weary and can't get accross what she wants. Also you will be there to talk to her if plans have to be changed.
I would take some massage oil as it helps labour pain to have a firm massage on your lower back. Also make sure to keep an eye on how much liquid she is having. Take some good lip balm like carmex as your lips can get very dried out.
Above all stay calm.
Don't get concerned if she tells you to do one thing then straight away tells you to do the opposite, my advice is just do it!

t_obermory

Your first baby is always scary as you don't know what to expect. The only thing you can really do is be there and support her as much as possible, if she wants her back rubbing, cool flannels etc do it. Don't say ow when she squeezes your hand either!

The only other thing I would say is make sure you both know her birth plan as when labours progressing she won't be able to clarify the things that she wants, which you need to be able to do for her.

Good luck!

newbie71_2

Hello, awh what a lovely daddy to be you must be! You'll soon find out that every single woman you talk to had a completely different birth experience - I had everything packed for the birth based on the fact all the books advise labour can last for hours - then my beautiful baby girl (my first baby last July) decided to stay inside for an extra days but when she did come out boy did she come out quick! 5 hours from first contraction to her arriving! So my maternity bag didn't even get used! lol!

I think no matter how many women you talk to you never truly have a sense of giving birth until you do it yourself!

When babies are born in telly programmes there's this nativity scene of mummy, and daddy and daddy stroking mummy's fevered brow with a wet flannel but this wasn't my reality, nor a lot of women I know. So just be there for her and accept the fact that for some of the process she might not give a toss you are there - my hubby was there all the way through but at some points I was in so much pain, so hot and so wanting the baby to simply come out NOW and I remember the midwife saying, 'your husband's here' and thinking 'so f******* what!!!!!!' Especially true if your wife is going to be on gas and air ( I was and all inhibitions and 'normal' train of thought go right out the window!)

In fact my husband said he wished he's packed ear plugs for the birth coz I screamed and shouted so much it practically punctured his ear drums!

But after all that when my daughter came I needed stitches and I do remember being stitched up and looking to my side and seeing my husband gazing lovingly into the eyes of our beautiful newborn baby girl and suddenly all the pain was forgotten and I was so glad my husband had been there through the birth.

You'll soon realise once she arrives that the birth was the easy bit but you won't be able to imagine life without her! Good luck to you both! :-)

Pete.g

Hi and thankyou all for the advice parenthood is something we are really looking forward to Even if a little scary like I said the mrs is not looking forward to labour at all and this has me worried even more about her but with the advice I have received from you and other peoples experiences I'm sure we'll get through it ok.

Thanks again,

Pete.

heather38

my advice would be, sit there and do as you're told!
my oh was there at the birth of our daughter, but tbh i couldn't have cared less, i just wanted the pain to go away!
don't fuss over her asking every 2 minutes if she wants anything, believe me she'll ask you, you'll only get on her nerves, take a book to read, i managed to sleeep between contractions,
good luck

2boysmum

I agree with Heather, just be there for her if she needs you, believe me theres nothing worse than being in labour, sweating, in agony and someone asking if your ok and telling u that your doing really well every 2 seconds, trust me you'll probably get your head ripped off.

Best bit of advice I can give you and your partner is to get her to control her breathing. I did this with my second labour and it went much better than the first, didn't make it any less painful but felt more in control and less panicky, its hard to explain but it does make you feel a lot better. In through the nose and out through the mouth, very slow breaths

Sharon

scrimpingbadger

Absolutely agree with Heather - just do as you're told and support everything your wife wants. She'll have her own instincts and just follow her lead.
In many ways she'll need you more after the birth as the first child, no matter how wanted, can be a real shock to the system. She may cry randomly for no apparent reason. She may not. Be there and reassure she's not losing it and make she you don't dismiss her fears and worries. Please also don't pretedn that life can go on as normal and start asking her what she'll be making for tea! (one of my friends just had this!!).
You sound fab and I think you will be a natural at this rollercoaster known as parenting