Urgent help needed to avoid drunken Ex invading family home(see from post 31 please)

Debt_Free_Chick

One final thing .... she cannot lawfully change the locks, unless she gives him new keys. He has the same right of access as she does ...... which is why the Occupation and Non-Molestation Orders are so, so important.

RAS

One of the practical issues you will be facing is that she has been bullied, frightened and generally made to believe that his actions are totally reasonable and she is an unreasonable cow. It will almost be like she is operating in an alterate universe. Right now she may be in different places at different times.

It is really hard to work with someone in this situation and you may have to repeat "the truth", which is the opposite of what she has been told for years, several times before she really understands it.

We can offer practical advice, but also a bit of moral support when you need it.

Debt_Free_Chick

garageman wrote: »

All taken in and noted...although all of this has taken a back seat, as the main thing is to stop him moving back in.....

How long would the molestation order take, and is it guaranteed....

Well, nothing is guaranteed

It depends on the facts and the evidence. From what you've posted here, I'd be 100% confident she'll get it because of the children. And especially as she's reported the violence to the Police. She must go back to them and get the crime numbers. Better still, go back to the Police and insist on speaking to the Domestic Violence duty officer. Tell him (more likely a "her") that she intends to apply for a Non-Molestation Order and can they help at all? She really only needs the crime numbers for the times she called them, but they might offer other help.

The Form itself is HERE

Get her to print it off and start to complete it - it will be useful preparation for whoever she appoints to advise/help her.

She may be able to get an urgent order - one where he doesn't need to be given notice. If not, he gets notice that she's applying for the order.

An urgent order might be possible - get her to seek advice NOW, please

I'm not trying to panic you - trying to persuade you that in my view, she has strong grounds to take quick action, if she gets the right advice from the right people e.g. women's organisation/charity. Local plod just might be helpful, but can't advise re completing the forms. But still worth involving them too.

By the way ... a non-molestation order can be given with an arrest warrant attached, so that if he breaches the order, he MUST be arrested IMMEDIATELY. She should go for this, too

garageman

RAS wrote: »

One of the practical issues you will be facing is that she has been bullied, frightened and generally made to believe that his actions are totally reasonable and she is an unreasonable cow. It will almost be like she is operating in an alterate universe. Right now she may be in different places at different times.

It is really hard to work with someone in this situation and you may have to repeat "the truth", which is the opposite of what she has been told for years, several times before she really understands it.

We can offer practical advice, but also a bit of moral support when you need it.

How true......and thanks.....

He's even sweet talked the kids into believing its "her" fault.

Hes been to counceling...but its a bit false if you lie to the councellor...

belfastgirl23

I think your sister should definitely go to Women's Aid for help and support. They are the experts in this area and will also be able to recommend good and sympathetic solicitors.

But at a minimum your sister has to change all the locks! She should check her home insurance, some policies cover this if you lose your keys etc.

Lots of luck to you both, sounds like you really need it.

garageman

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

Well, nothing is guaranteed

It depends on the facts and the evidence. From what you've posted here, I'd be 100% confident she'll get it because of the children. And especially as she's reported the violence to the Police. She must go back to them and get the crime numbers. Better still, go back to the Police and insist on speaking to the Domestic Violence duty officer. Tell him (more likely a "her") that she intends to apply for a Non-Molestation Order and can they help at all? She really only needs the crime numbers for the times she called them, but they might offer other help.

The Form itself is HERE

Get her to print it off and start to complete it - it will be useful preparation for whoever she appoints to advise/help her.

She may be able to get an urgent order - one where he doesn't need to be given notice. If not, he gets notice that she's applying for the order.

An urgent order might be possible - get her to seek advice NOW, please

I'm not trying to panic you - trying to persuade you that in my view, she has strong grounds to take quick action, if she gets the right advice from the right people e.g. women's organisation/charity. Local plod just might be helpful, but can't advise re completing the forms. But still worth involving them too.

By the way ... a non-molestation order can be given with an arrest warrant attached, so that if he breaches the order, he MUST be arrested IMMEDIATELY. She should go for this, too

All taken in and passed on...unfortunately when he stole the computer, he took the printer as well.....

Got to go out to funeral now,,,but will be "live" later....thanks again for all this information

Debt_Free_Chick

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

But at a minimum your sister has to change all the locks! She should check her home insurance, some policies cover this if you lose your keys etc.

She cannot change the locks and stay within the law. He is the joint owner. He is entitled to have access to the property and even to move back in and occupy it! It is unlawful for her to change the locks and deny him access to his own property. If she does, he has the right to break a window and force entry. The Police will take no action, as it's his property.

You're not suggesting that she make a fraudulent insurance claim are you?

garageman

Debt_Free_Chick wrote: »

Well, nothing is guaranteed

It depends on the facts and the evidence. From what you've posted here, I'd be 100% confident she'll get it because of the children. And especially as she's reported the violence to the Police. She must go back to them and get the crime numbers. Better still, go back to the Police and insist on speaking to the Domestic Violence duty officer. Tell him (more likely a "her") that she intends to apply for a Non-Molestation Order and can they help at all? She really only needs the crime numbers for the times she called them, but they might offer other help.

The Form itself is HERE

Get her to print it off and start to complete it - it will be useful preparation for whoever she appoints to advise/help her.

She may be able to get an urgent order - one where he doesn't need to be given notice. If not, he gets notice that she's applying for the order.

An urgent order might be possible - get her to seek advice NOW, please

I'm not trying to panic you - trying to persuade you that in my view, she has strong grounds to take quick action, if she gets the right advice from the right people e.g. women's organisation/charity. Local plod just might be helpful, but can't advise re completing the forms. But still worth involving them too.

By the way ... a non-molestation order can be given with an arrest warrant attached, so that if he breaches the order, he MUST be arrested IMMEDIATELY. She should go for this, too

Could this still be granted even if he hasnt made his move...we are assumimg his solicitor will advise him to move back into the house he half owns...Will the court award a non molestation or occupation order on an assumption of what might happen....and should her soilicitor advise her to do this on Tuesday...and if she advises it now, why didnt she suggest it before, and if her soilcitor doesnt advise this, what should my sister do...should she do it herself, or TELL her solicitor of this....tbh...her solicitor seems useless...but surely that cant be???

Just spokento my sister, after a hectic day with kids, she managed to phone the Court at around 4pm...a form is on its way out to her, re Non Molestation and Occupancy....she was told to bring £60 with the completed form..........is this the norm.

Just read that £60 isnt payable if on income support...So much to read...

moonrakermagpie

Can I suggest that she goes to her doctor and explains that she is afraid of the violence etc

Could someone else help with this suggestion, ie is it a good idea or not, if so what should she say etc

Cheers Steve

reventon

I agree with what has already been mentioned. She needs to contact her local Polices domestic abuse (violence) unit and speak with them directly. Dont let he be fobbed off by either core Police officers (the ones who deal with the general incidents i.e. car accidents and burglaries) or by civillians in the contact centre when she first rings in. I can assure you what is being written on here about what she is suffering is common place, and the DAO (domestic abuse officer) will be able to offer practical advice on what support systems there are in place, offer solutions to problems and also deal with identifying offences and getting offfenders prosecuted.

With regards to the males "right" to enter the premises as and when he sees fit. The civil law has been mentioned above regarding not being able to change the locks, but section 6 criminal justice act 1977, which refers to violence to secure entry. This basically states that it is an offence for

"any person who, without lawful authority, uses or threatens violence for the purpose of securing entry into any premises for himself or for any other person is guilty of an offence"

and...

"the fact that a person has any interest in or right to possession or occupation of any premises shall not for the purposes of subsection (1) above constitute lawful authority for the use or threat of violence by him or anyone else for the purpose of securing his entry into those premises."

So basically he cannot threaten or use violent against either the female (your sister) or the property in order to gain access if she makes it clear to him that she does not want him to enter the premises. This is a summary offence which Police will immediately arrest for. It does not matter that he has a proprietary right of interest in the property (i.e. 50% ownership).

What your sister (i believe she was your sister although i reserve the right to be wrong) is able to do is lock doors etc to prevent her ex from getting in. When he does arrive at the address and cannot get in she needs to tell him that she does not want him in the premises to go away and advise him that she is contacting the Police (999) . If he then begins trying to gain entry i.e. by kicking doors or breaking windows She should ring 999 and explain that her violent expartner, is outside the premises threatening her and trying to break in, this will ensure that Police treat as an emergency. When Police do arrive she should ensure that they do not try to fob her off with no further action on it (which they may do, as they probably could do without the extra work) she should be firm and say she wishes to support any prosecution. If she is unhappy with the action they take she should recontact the control centre or local police station and advise that she wishes to lodge a complaint with the Area Duty Manager (usually inspector rank or above). She may get a Sergeant call her back initially, but if he or she does not offer a satisfactory resolution repeat request to speak to area DM.

She can also contact the area domestic abuse officer or even just the control room/contact centre to request that a note be put on her address to treat all calls as urgent due to previous domestic abuse issues.

phew - dont think ive missed anything out. Obviously this doesnt solve the long term issues but is a short term solution