Urgent help needed to avoid drunken Ex invading family home(see from post 31 please)

garageman

mummytofour wrote: »

Miss poppy sorry I dont really agree with you. There is a way of getting help with her mortgage and she has 3 kids to look after who have already had a rough deal, staying in the family home, if that's what the family want should be a top priority if it is at all possible. If the lady in question sells the house she would A) have nowhere to live and get no benefits as she had too much in the bank, selling is not IMHO the best decision .

Unfortunately selling is possibly the only option, she needs to leave the area as he was once violent and could be again, and she is surrounded by his family.

garageman

RAS wrote: »

Hi

Recommend that you talk in more detail to M24 as well as benefit advisor and solicitor etc. ALSo pm debtdoctor as he has been helping another OP on benefits with a mortgage.

Also, I am fairly certain that her bid for mortgage support will mean that the CSA get after him.

Given the relatively low debt remaining, the best thing for this family would be to remain in the house until the children reach majority or at least she has a good job and then sell up. By then she should be able to use the equity to buy somewhere for herself.

How old are the kids?

And in the mean-time can she

a) contact the mortgage provider and let them them know the problem
b) has she got anything in the house that she can e-bay or car boot to pay one month's mortgage?

M24???....but yes getting advice from mortgage advisor...and will PM debt doctor.....

Problem with CSA is she would only be better off slightly...then when he stops paying(or packs in his job) she will be worse off and have all the stress of claiming again.....

She cant remain in the area as she is surrounded by his family....

kids are 10, 5 and 3

She has contacted the mortgage provider,

Hes stolen most of the stuff with any value....

garageman

silvercar wrote: »

She needs to go after him for maintenance. with a decent salary, an attachment of earnings would be a good way to ensure she gets some money each month.

He needs reminding that legally he is jointly responsible for this mortgage and any arrears will affect his credit rating and his ability to borrow and get a mortgage. A repossession would prevent him buying a property for a long while. In fact, if he failed to pay the mortgage the lender would more than likely chase him as he has the means to make payments.

This wouldnt bother him..we suspect he has a hard drug habit....

garageman

RAS wrote: »

Please get the locks replaced urgently. Given his past history, it is not just the toaster that is at risk.

And with regard to replacement, can you, sis and her support team sign up for the local group on www.freecycle.org. It is like e-bay but the good are given away free to anyone who will collect them. if any of you live near somewhere posh, I recommend joining that group as well, as the pickings can be good.

She can get furniture, bedding, toys, clothes, electrical stuff etc.

Solicitor, police and social workers have told her she cant keep him out, or stop him taking stuff, as it was bought while they were together and is rightfully his and hers.....and basically he can take anything, shes worried about the fridge freezer and cooker....

Shineyhappy

I think the best thing she could do is try and press charges for the violence carried out against her. If the police are willing to pursue that, then he will not be allowed to the family home or near her. This will make getting a restraining order easier too. If he brakes into the house whilst he has been told not to by the police (if charges have been pressed) then this is VERY serious and he will get into a lot of trouble for that- probably a lot more trouble than the assault!

I think she will have a hard time selling the house as he sounds like a akward so and so and if he wont sign the papers then she will need to make him.

The best advice is to get legal advice as she is in a bit of a pickle, she needs to make the best informed choices she can.

garageman

Shineyhappy wrote: »

I think the best thing she could do is try and press charges for the violence carried out against her. If the police are willing to pursue that, then he will not be allowed to the family home or near her. This will make getting a restraining order easier too. If he brakes into the house whilst he has been told not to by the police (if charges have been pressed) then this is VERY serious and he will get into a lot of trouble for that- probably a lot more trouble than the assault!

I think she will have a hard time selling the house as he sounds like a akward so and so and if he wont sign the papers then she will need to make him.

The best advice is to get legal advice as she is in a bit of a pickle, she needs to make the best informed choices she can.

Thanks for this...although this has all be done...it was going to take up too much time to explainthe whole story, but this thread is the next step in her life after the violence, harassment order, etc...

Because he was already on probation, the police seemed reluctant to do anything(because there is no room inthe prisons we thought)..A lot of effort went into trying to get the police to act, she ended up not bothering, as the police didnt even bother coming out to see her...they just gave her a crime number....

He began to act responsibly....cumulating in him agreeing to pay the mortgage, and even treat the kids now and again(big of him ehhh)...but this was a false promise when she contacted the building society after wondering if he had actually paid it...he hadnt, and was told they would try again in 20 days or so.....

She now fears that the next step is the repossession by the lender.....

She has had legal advice, and he has received a solicitors letter with a suggestion to sell the house and a split of the equity.....As she has the 3 kids,her solicitor went for 60/40 in her favour.....

If he now refuses to pay the mortgage, which means he is abandoning the house, surely he can have no legal grounds to refuse its sale.......and allow her to move on.

Tootsie_Roll

OK I used to be the Mortgage Collections Manager for one of the top three lenders in the UK and have seen this situation literally thousands of times - it really is appalling.

Obviously her priority is maintaining a roof over her family's heads and in an ideal world she would be able to stay in the family home - looking at this entirely objectively though; is this possible ?

I am not current on rules around benefit claims so do not know if she is eligable for help from the DSS - can she find out - very quickly ?

Involving solicitors is essential and it looks like she has already started down that road however I guarantee that this will take many times longer than you think it will or the Solicitor tells you it will take - 2 years is about the norm. In that time how is she going to service the mortgage (without help from the DSS) ? Whilst the lender may by sympathetic to her circumstance they will not wait indefinately and sadly repossession often occurs in situations like these. This is not a good option for her as it will screw her chances of finance in the future and as we also know can affect her ability to rent.

Ordinarily I would advise her to get agreement via her Sol to sell the house immediately (unless she can fund payments for 2 years +) and ensure she keeps the bulk of the money. In my opinion (and experience) 60:40 is not an equitable split bearing in mind she will have the kids - frankly I think he would be lucky to walk away with anything ! However in this instance the mortgage is already quite small so with a little help she hopefully can stay there.

So advise is:

Speak to DSS now to check availabilty.
Take immediate action to agree financial split from ex.
Expect to have to wait 2 years + before getting anything from ex at all.
Beg/borrow from family/friends in meantime to pay mortgage.

Good luck.

garageman

Tootsie_Roll wrote: »

OK I used to be the Mortgage Collections Manager for one of the top three lenders in the UK and have seen this situation literally thousands of times - it really is appalling.

Obviously her priority is maintaining a roof over her family's heads and in an ideal world she would be able to stay in the family home - looking at this entirely objectively though; is this possible ?

I am not current on rules around benefit claims so do not know if she is eligable for help from the DSS - can she find out - very quickly ?

Involving solicitors is essential and it looks like she has already started down that road however I guarantee that this will take many times longer than you think it will or the Solicitor tells you it will take - 2 years is about the norm. In that time how is she going to service the mortgage (without help from the DSS) ? Whilst the lender may by sympathetic to her circumstance they will not wait indefinately and sadly repossession often occurs in situations like these. This is not a good option for her as it will screw her chances of finance in the future and as we also know can affect her ability to rent.

Ordinarily I would advise her to get agreement via her Sol to sell the house immediately (unless she can fund payments for 2 years +) and ensure she keeps the bulk of the money. In my opinion (and experience) 60:40 is not an equitable split bearing in mind she will have the kids - frankly I think he would be lucky to walk away with anything ! However in this instance the mortgage is already quite small so with a little help she hopefully can stay there.

So advise is:

Speak to DSS now to check availabilty.
Take immediate action to agree financial split from ex.
Expect to have to wait 2 years + before getting anything from ex at all.
Beg/borrow from family/friends in meantime to pay mortgage.

Good luck.

Hi...thanks for this........

It is not possible for her to stay in this house, he would never leave her alone, she is surrounded by his family, and people he has "sweet talked"......so she needs to get away to somewhere where she controls the house keys....as at the moment, he just enters without notice, rakes around, and takes what he wants........this isnt often...but is worrying.

She has pending appointments with DSS and Mortgage Advisor, Solicitor.

Although the DSS will possibly pay the interest after something like 39 weeks of being on income support....she didnt claim for this when they split, as she thought he would continue to pay the mortgage....she is hoping that the 39 weeks can be backdated to when she first claimed income support.

There is a possibility she could borrow money off her parents to cover the mortgage for 2 years......but, whats to say she will benefit from this, or that he cant just move himself back in, and live there free......

The law is very vague on this and he seems to have been getting better advice than she has(possibly fromhis probation officer)...resulting in him, being able to remove items from the home, without any consequences .....

All indications are (from solicitors meetings)that she will only get 50% maximum.....but if he fights the case for more(as HE paid it,,,is his attitude)...court costs could see the total equity going down and down....and if as we suspect, he has a drug habit, maybe he just doesnt want her or the kids to get anything out of it.....and is prepared to lose it in court costs.

She needs to sell, she needs to get away...as soon as possible, as she has no protection from anyone....if he were to turn nasty again....

This is what she went through to get this far, as you can see, her attitude has changed towards the house, but she still has materialistic views and is not prepared to walk away from this 10 year (often very traumatic) relationship with nothing..............

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=468442

There maybe slight differences in age/money/date facts...as it was essential to keep her identity secret,.....

Tootsie_Roll

garageman wrote: »

She has pending appointments with DSS and Mortgage Advisor, Solicitor.

Excellent

garageman wrote: »

Although the DSS will possibly pay the interest after something like 39 weeks of being on income support....she didnt claim for this when they split, as she thought he would continue to pay the mortgage....she is hoping that the 39 weeks can be backdated to when she first claimed income support.

I suspected that may be the case - it seems the rules have not changed much in recent years.

garageman wrote: »

All indications are (from solicitors meetings)that she will only get 50% maximum.....but if he fights the case for more(as HE paid it,,,is his attitude)...court costs could see the total equity going down and down....and if as we suspect, he has a drug habit, maybe he just doesnt want her or the kids to get anything out of it.....and is prepared to lose it in court costs.

Get another solicitor ! I would suggest that it would be almost unheard of to only receive 50% as part of the financial settlement and still have custody of the children. You can also 'trade' future maintainence payments for an agreed lump sum settlement which under the circumstances may be the best option anyway.

I think your sister needs to get a court agreement that she can sell the house asap - they can force the issue and hopefully something can be done sooner rather than later if her solicitor is on the ball.

garageman

Tootsie_Roll wrote: »

Get another solicitor ! I would suggest that it would be almost unheard of to only receive 50% as part of the financial settlement and still have custody of the children. You can also 'trade' future maintainence payments for an agreed lump sum settlement which under the circumstances may be the best option anyway.

I think your sister needs to get a court agreement that she can sell the house asap - they can force the issue and hopefully something can be done sooner rather than later if her solicitor is on the ball.

Does this apply even though they wern't married, he is the childrens father.

Solicitor seems very unwilling to do much.....no help over violent times.

Solicitor has already gone for 60/40 in letter to him, but has had no response.

She may be nearing end of legal aid....mediation was mentioned last time