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Renters - are family or friends pressuring you to buy?
ruggedtoast
Posts: 9,819 Forumite
The in laws wont shut up about us buying somewhere - and they seem to think we're renting just to spite them or something.
First the wife gets nagged at at length about how its no harder for us to get on the ladder than it was for them in the 70's, and now theyre on about us buying a house outside London because they seem to think our rent of £775 for a one bed flat in Zone 2 is some kind of wild extravagance that people in their 30's shouldnt be indulging in (a mortgage to buy the flat we're living in would be almost double that).
It seems literally impossible to get them to understand what a house costs now and how unaffordable it is - except when youre talking about theirs. Theyre very conscious of the rise in value of their place but dont seem to understand that the flip side of the coin is that someone like us would have to pay that to buy it from them.
Anyone else have unsympathetic relatives sitting pretty on a mountain of equity?
First the wife gets nagged at at length about how its no harder for us to get on the ladder than it was for them in the 70's, and now theyre on about us buying a house outside London because they seem to think our rent of £775 for a one bed flat in Zone 2 is some kind of wild extravagance that people in their 30's shouldnt be indulging in (a mortgage to buy the flat we're living in would be almost double that).
It seems literally impossible to get them to understand what a house costs now and how unaffordable it is - except when youre talking about theirs. Theyre very conscious of the rise in value of their place but dont seem to understand that the flip side of the coin is that someone like us would have to pay that to buy it from them.
Anyone else have unsympathetic relatives sitting pretty on a mountain of equity?
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Comments
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Just tell them to mind their own business, but that if they'd like to help you buy a property, go ahead and let them.
750 for a one bed flat in zone 2 is very good.
I'm surprised that they don't connect their equity rise in the difficulties you are facing. Next time they talk about house price rises and how great they are, try to connect it to your own predicament.
It sounds like you don't want to buy, for whatever reason, right now. Might be an idea to ensure you've got money set aside for the day you do want to buy somewhere mind!Errors of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it. - Jefferson0 -
My sis gives me some !!!! about it every time she comes across from the States, but I've explained to my folks why I've not bought & they are ok with it."Mrs. Pench, you've won the car contest, would you like a triumph spitfire or 3000 in cash?" He smiled.
Mrs. Pench took the money. "What will you do with it all? Not that it's any of my business," he giggled.
"I think I'll become an alcoholic," said Betty.0 -
Melissa177 wrote: »Just tell them to mind their own business, but that if they'd like to help you buy a property, go ahead and let them.
750 for a one bed flat in zone 2 is very good.
I'm surprised that they don't connect their equity rise in the difficulties you are facing. Next time they talk about house price rises and how great they are, try to connect it to your own predicament.
It sounds like you don't want to buy, for whatever reason, right now. Might be an idea to ensure you've got money set aside for the day you do want to buy somewhere mind!
My sister in law mentioned something like that to them and they offered her a loan of £5000 but only if she married her boyfriend first!
Actually we have some savings but we'd still need to borrow around £150,000 to buy the little house they want us to have their grandchildren in somewhere we can both get to work. If house prices dont fall this year we'll have to bite the bullet and buy though.
It just seems to me theres a lot of very smug people who are over the moon about their own good fortune with house prices but wont even acknowledge what its like being trapped on the outside.
The thought of raising a family in private rented accommodation makes me shudder but it looks like its what we'll have to do0 -
It sounds like you have your head screwed on - my parents are the opposite ("I hope you're not planning on marrying your boyfriend anytime soon, or having kids, we're enjoying our freedom etc" lol).
Tell them that it's none of their business. That said, if you could get a loan at 5.5% (not impossible), 150K is around 900 a month, so it's not completely out of the question. It has to be what you want to do, not what they want you to do, mind!Errors of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it. - Jefferson0 -
smile sweetly at them and congratulate them on their foresight on buying a place which has gone up so much in value. then tell them you want to emulate them and if they release the equity from their house, you would be on the housing ladder in no time. if they dont want to give you the money, maybe they can btl a place which you can rent from them. that way they are reaping even more benefits of the housing market and stupid though you are your rent is no longer dead money. it is fuelling their btl empire. win win situation all round
keep smiling sweetly0 -
smile sweetly at them and congratulate them on their foresight on buying a place which has gone up so much in value. then tell them you want to emulate them and if they release the equity from their house, you would be on the housing ladder in no time. if they dont want to give you the money, maybe they can btl a place which you can rent from them. that way they are reaping even more benefits of the housing market and stupid though you are your rent is no longer dead money. it is fuelling their btl empire. win win situation all round
keep smiling sweetly
lol. I hadnt thought of that thanks!0 -
Heck yes, I get it more from friends (who are mortgaged up to the hilt) than family. I'm getting sick of explaining that I have very reasonable rent for London, which hasn't gone up in four years, an open ended contract, don't have to pay buildings insurance, have landlords who arrange for their own maintenance team to fix problems immediately they present themselves and, this is the biggy, I have the freedom to hand in 6 weeks notice and move across the world if I choose! Sure I could mortgage myself up to the eyeballs just to buy a flat in a "affordable" part of london where I don't even want to live and don't even feel safe, but it just doesn't seem appealing... this way I live where I want, don't have the hidden extras and invest money elsewhere. In an ideal world of course I would buy a flat but at present the London housing market just doesn't make this viable.Yeah, whatever. I'm a grown up, I can take it...0
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the answer is yes yes yes
When i my partner and i got engaged it was instant pressure to buy although we wanted to rent they seem to see it as a disgrase to the family if you rent.
allthough when his younger brother followed suit few yrs later it was perfectly exceptable for them to rent!
i like the freedom that comes with renting and no extras such as buildings insurance, life insurance, payment protection all these add up plus theres the maintence and up keep costs and time.0 -
Yes, especially my dad. He thinks I should be buying a house and getting a job.
He can't grasp the fact that I've just had one for 6-7 years and because of the cost I couldn't afford to leave the house - and because of the house I couldn't afford to get to jobs or relocate to get a job.
I sold the house because I couldn't afford to run it being in/out of work in an area where pay was poor and jobs were scarce. I sold it because I thought the market was on the turn and if I didn't I'd be stuck with it for the next 7-8 years, by which time I'd have wasted my life sitting waiting for things to change.
He can't understand that I am enjoying a year out doing, well, bugg4h all really. He can't understand that I have enough income to potter about and live in a bedsit and be thankful I have no pressures or commitments.
He can't understand that I will get a job one day... when I fancy it. And that until I do I don't know where I will want/need to buy a house.
I'm happy to potter about like this for up to another 5 years. I can't tie myself down to a house/region as I've just escaped that mistake!0 -
just wondering pastures new how you pay for the rent, food etc doing very little, please share so we can all do it.0
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