Care home funding advice?

lstar337

Hi, I am looking for advice on care homes and funding solutions, or to be pointed in the direction of somebody who can assist me and my wife.

The situation is this:

My wife’s grandad is 94 years old, in heart failure, and showing signs of dementia that is rapidly escalating. My wife had been caring for him by helping him with daily tasks, cleaning up his bungalow, and sorting his (large amount of) daily medication into a dispenser box. My wife and I were also ‘on-call’ 24/7 to deal with frequent falls, because he is unable to get up off the floor.

At Christmas last year he suffered a heart attack and spent most of it in hospital, was released, then possibly had another episode where they then decided he needed a pacemaker. He was then released again, but the amount of care he needed had increased to the point that we needed to hire a micro-provider to come in 3 times a week, on top of my wife’s usual visits.

After a few weeks we started to notice him declining, and my wife was noticing irregularities in his medication. He started missing days, taking extra doses, and generally mixing it up to the point he could no longer be trusted to manage it on his own. We did get him a dementia clock with alarms, but he is also very deaf and sometimes fails to hear it. His micro provider also said he has looked at the clock, read the day written on it, and then proceeded to tell her he needs to take a different days medicine.

Then further issues started. He would ring my wife to ask her “How do I make a cup of tea?” “I’ve put the water on the tea bag, but I can’t remember the next step”, and “How do I clean my dishes in the washing machine?” (he doesn’t have a dishwasher, he was talking about the clothes washer), and “How does the microwave work?”. He spent one night plunging the toilet to remove the water that sits in the bottom. He must have been doing it a long time because his plunger was wrecked when my wife went to see him the next day. He also recently flooded his bungalow by leaving the shower running, frequently leaves taps running, and has also left the hob running multiple times. All the rings on his hob are destroyed from leaving them on.

We took the decision around 3 weeks ago to talk with him about moving into a home where he would be safe. He agreed that it was a good idea, but he expressly wished that it not be one specific home in our area. His wife went into that home when he was caring for her (she had vascular dementia), and it was an awful place with awful staff. We shopped around and picked one of the nicest lower costing homes (they all cost a lot tbf), because we wanted to reduce issues when he could no longer self-fund. (He had some savings ~29K, but lives in social housing and has no other capital). He had a look around, liked it, so we put him in on 2 week respite to see if he wanted to stay. He does.

Now here is the rub, Adult Social Care (ASC) have spoken to my wife and told her they wont fund him where he is. I wasn’t there for the call because I was working, but they had her in tears. Essentially, they have said:

• They wont fund him where he is because the fees are too high
• We shouldn’t have put him in there without contact them first (!!!!!!?)
• They will only fund £850/w (even the lowest rated homes in the area are £1k/w), where we have him was meant to be £1150/w but he is currently paying £1350/w (we later found out that the £1150/w figure is the lowest the home will let ASC knock them down to)
• They said they haven’t done their assessment yet, but from what my wife has told them, they don’t see why he cannot just go home, and have carers in 4 times a day.
• And they told my wife not to give up his social housing, and that we need to tell them that ASC are now involved, and that they need to keep his property available to him until they decide where he is going.
• They said he is not allowed to part fund, or ‘Top Up’ their payment, only a third party can do that (We don’t have the money to do that, we get UC top up as it is), and something about them taking everything he has (including all his savings, benefits, pension payments) and leaving him with £35/w. I’m a little unclear on what that last be was about.

I guess my main questions are:

• Are they right?
• Do we have any other option?

My wife is devastated, and now fears they will try to put him in that awful home he said he didn’t want to go in. He has made friends where he is, and with dementia, any change can be a huge setback.

Sorry for the long post, but I know it’s impossible to give advice without context.

Woodstok2000

Sorry you are going through this, it sounds awful. For context, what are the fees at the local home that he doesn't want to go to?

Ginger70

Basically yes they are right.

Unless Grandad can cover his own fee's or you are willing to pay them you can't just pop him in home he likes and then tell the local authorities so they can pay the bills when his funds run out (which on £29K will be very quickly given around £23K is protected).

You should have approached the authorities and negotiated the level of care needed and the best way that care will be provided. The standard in my experience is remaining at home and up to 4 carers a day - they may not fund 4 a day and decide he can cope with less in additional to your wife's caring.

Its not great but there isn't the money to fund this. How would councils fund endless people placing there elderly relatives in care off their own backs and submitting the bills when there are cheaper (albeit not so good) options available.

If he has dementia this may change the outcome but even dementia patients aren't guaranteed paid for round the clock care in the care home of their choice. Many stay in their own homes. If you can't cover the costs then best to get Grandad home to his social housing before he gets more settled in the home he's in and then go through the proper channels to get him help.

I do wish you luck - its a horrible situation to be in and I hope you manage to reach a solution.

lstar337

Good question! I didn't know (just assumed it was cheap because it's awful), so I checked carehome.co.uk and it is more than where he is now. I can't say for sure if the site is accurate (though it is for his current location), but it says £1500/w.

ASC said to find somewhere in their budget, that we need to widen our search to the whole county.

Another update I just got from my wife, she has just been to the home and explained it all to the manager (who is livid) and the manager guessed the name of the worker from ASC first time. She said she hates the worker, they are unprofessional, and they are constantly trying to make 90+ year olds homeless.

lstar337

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82133049#Comment_82133049

Thanks for your comment.

For context, he isn't in the home, he is in respite at the home.

Ginger70

• They said he is not allowed to part fund, or ‘Top Up’ their payment, only a third party can do that (We don’t have the money to do that, we get UC top up as it is), and something about them taking everything he has (including all his savings, benefits, pension payments) and leaving him with £35/w. I’m a little unclear on what that last be was about.

If he does go into a home the authorities will take all income he has once he can't self fund to pay towards his care home and leave him £35 a week for his personal needs. This £35.00 is supposed to pay for toiletries, clothing, books, newspapers, haircuts, birthday presents for relatives etc. Basically he'll have £35.00 a week to spend as he wishes - all other money will go towards paying for his place in the home.

lstar337

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82133057#Comment_82133057

Makes sense. I don't see him needing more than £35/w.

Ginger70

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82133055#Comment_82133055

Then he'll need to go back to his own home whilst you negotiate with the authorities

Ginger70

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82133051#Comment_82133051

I would'nt set too much store by what the manager of the home has told your wife. She's hardly going to tell a visibly upset person that the rules are the rules and you can't make up your own unless you have the funds to pay for it. You need to do what the ASC are telling you to and make the best of a bad situation.

lstar337

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82133071#Comment_82133071

Interesting. I have just had a conversation with my wife about what was said. The manager has told her that this happens all the time, they constantly have to have this fight when ASC come calling, and that they do give in and pay the fees, after a negotiation. They have already discussed internally what fee they are willing to go down to.

I must say that I think the way he is being treated is disgusting. He paid into the system his whole life, served his country, and now they want to fight to offer him the least amount they can for the last bit of his life!

lstar337

He won't be. He isn't safe. He's likely to accidently burn the place down, which his adjoining neighbours with a new-born will not be best pleased about.