Parent possibly moving in

GreenFrogMum

I’m trying to work out what the best thing to do is, but I need to understand the financial implications.

I am privately renting a 4 bed house for me and my 2 children. My ex partner and his daughter were living with us when we originally moved in, but it worked out cheaper for me to stay when he left, even though the 3 of us don’t really need such a big house.

I claim UC. We get the 3 bed housing allowance, due to my daughter needing her own room and being unable to share with her brother. I also get the disabled child and carer’s element due to her disability and needs. I don’t have work commitments (due to caring for my daughter), but I do work part time, during term time while she’s at school.

My mother is currently living with family, who very kindly offered her a place to stay when she needed it, but it’s been longer than planned and it’s causing tension between them. My mum wants (and needs) more of her own space, and the family she’s living with need their home back, but as a working woman in her 60s with several chronic illnesses, my mum isn’t really entitled to much help and can’t afford to move out.

I’ve considered offering her my spare room. I’ve been reluctant because I like being the only adult in my house. I like my own space and I don’t want to damage the relationship I have with my mum. But I feel guilty for not offering when I have space and her current living arrangements are causing so much tension.

I need to understand the financial implications of having her move in with me before I broach the subject with my landlord.

What would her moving in mean for my UC? I assume I’d lose my single person council tax discount. What other reductions would I see? Would my mum be added to my UC claim? She’s not entitled to UC because she doesn’t have housing costs and her wages wipe out the standard allowance. What information would they need from/about her if she moved in?

huckster

If your Mum moved in, she would be a non dependent adult living with you. You would just report change under section children and other people who live with you. The Housing would increase to 4 bed entitlement, but there would be non dependent deduction added. Run the information through online benefit calculator to see what affect there would be.

UC would not need any information about your Mum, other than basic name and date of birth you report on claim if you want to possibly gain from Housing entitlement change. Her income and savings would not affect your claim.

You would lose the single person Council tax discount.

If you charge your Mum rent, any money you receive from her is not counted as income for UC purposes. If your savings increased about £6k as a result of the rent, you would have to report to UC.

GreenFrogMum

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82081772#Comment_82081772

thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It is beyond unlikely that my savings would ever amount to 6k as a result of her moving in. I can’t see her actually contributing much at all. The plan was for her to live with family for a year, save up as much of her wages as possible and then use those savings to rent her own place.. it’s been 3 years and she doesn’t even have enough in savings for a months rent, let alone a deposit and everything else. She doesn’t seem able to determine where her money is going.

I just felt guilty, having a spare room, while she’s living somewhere she doesn’t really want to be, with people who don’t really want her to be there. The fact that she’s stayed longer than planned, it’s preventing them renovating their house the way they want to… it’s causing a lot of tension and bad feeling between them. I don’t want the same to happen to my own relationship with my mum, but I feel like maybe it’s my turn.

elsien

I would suggest that the first step is for someone to sit with her and to help her determine where the money is going if she genuinely doesn’t know. Get her to go through her bank statements and start a spending diary. Perhaps fill in the SOA on the debt free wannabe forum - it’s not just for those in debt it’s also for those money is evaporating, to try and work out what is going on.

If she moves in with you, and there is a non-dependent deduction, you have to start paying more council tax; then and what will the situation be for the increased utility bills and higher food costs, et cetera? If she’s working full-time then she should be saving even if on a low wage if her wage is too high for her to get universal credit in her own right

I know you only asked about finances but if she can’t save now when she’s living with someone and paying less than she would to live independently, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of hope for her saving up to move out when she’s with you. So what’s the Plan B for if that becomes intolerable for you as well? Because you do need an escape route for the both of you if necessary - my mother lived with me for six months while her house has been done up and that was seriously long enough. And I knew she was definitely going.

Has your mum looked into social housing because it can be easier for older people to get housing aimed specifically at the over 55 than for those people on the standard waiting list?

GreenFrogMum

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82081829#Comment_82081829

that is something that worries me. If she moves in, I don’t think she’d ever move out. But if she doesn’t, she won’t be able to move away from where she is now, either, and the situation there is becoming unbearable for everyone.

I don’t know what to do for the best.

ellenvan

Think very carefully about a long term commitment.

What if;

You met someone else?

She retires and has less income

Is unable to work as health gets worse

All scenarios have to be carefully thought about.

Grumpelstiltskin

You need to sit down with her and tell her how much she will have to pay you.

The extra council tax is easy to work out and then add 1/4 of all utilities, then food and wear and tear of everything, will she provide her own bedding, towels etc.?

If she says she can't afford that you have to tell her you can't afford to subside her.

elsien

So to go back to one of my questions, has she looked into social housing for older people? The rent there will be more affordable.

sammyjammy

Look at a benefits calculator and see if she would get help with rent from UC if she rented her own place, swapping a difficult situation that doesn't currently involve you for one that impacts both yourself and your children sounds like a bad idea to me, she isn't your responsibility and presumably you aren't responsible for her situation, she's not elderly, let them sort it out between themselves.

Spoonie_Turtle

Regardless of where your mother will live, helping her do an SOA will be the most helpful thing to find where her money's going and identify how she can save up. That's something that can be done and acted on straight away, whilst longer term, bigger decisions need longer to be considered before anything can happen.

Grumpy_chap

Has the OP's Mum always struggled with money and budget? Regardless, the first thing is for the OP's Mum to prepare their budget and the SoA suggested by Spoonie_Turtle is probably the best tool for this. The lemonfool version seems regularly recommended.

The OP's Mum has been in a temporary living arrangement for 3 years that was originally meant to be 1 year while she found her feet. I suspect that if the OP's Mum moves in with the OP for another temporary period, it will really end up being forever, or until relationships breakdown. It might be better for all concerned if the OP plus the family members where the OP's Mum is currently residing can find some path to a living arrangement for the OP's Mum that has her living independently.

If the OP's Mum moves in with the OP, the OP will need to inform the LA / LL and they will need to agree to the residency also having the OP's Mum as a permitted occupant.