Did anyone else find dealing with companies as an executor upsetting?

QuestionEverything12

I went through probate for my late father last year and, alongside the actual admin, found the way some companies handled it genuinely upsetting. I was regularly addressed by his name, ‘extra care’ teams were nothing but and I was cheerily asked by an estate agent: ‘So who’s moving then?’ when they knew it was a probate sale. 

I'm looking into starting a small service to help executors deal with the admin that piles up after someone dies - from chasing paperwork, dealing with banks, utility companies, estate agents - so they can focus more on their grief rather than dealing with admin overwhelm and companies’ insensitivity.

Before I build anything, I'd really value hearing from others who've been an executor recently:

• What was the hardest or most frustrating part of dealing with third parties (not the legal/admin steps themselves, but the people you had to deal with)?
• Is this something you'd have paid someone else to take off your hands, even for a few weeks?

I’m not selling anything just genuinely trying to understand if this is worth building or if perhaps my experience was particularly awful. All thoughts welcome!

GrubbyGirl_2

I presume you're aware you'll be entering a crowded market?

Flugelhorn

I was an executor and had no trouble at all - people were very helpful, certainly the ones in the "bereavement departments" of various utilities etc

estate agent was fine - never was an issue

Sooz1966

I'm sorry you had this experience. However, I've gone through this twice for parent/inlaws in recent years (most recently, this year) and had consistently good or excellent service from multiple banks, pension providers, utility companies, EA. Yes, things were sometimes frustratingly slow but interactions were always compassionate, sympathetic, kind, and helpful. Even NS&I were lovely on the phone despite their current woes.

mr_stripey

my experience with doing this for two deceased parents was broadly fine. Nearly everyone I spoke to was kind and professional. I didn't feel at any point I needed someone else to deal with it for me.

At the end of the day, it's business getting this stuff sorted and I didn't feel they needed to tiptoe around me over stuff - we just needed to get houses sold, accounts closed and settled etc

Brie

Frankly family was the most frustrating thing for me.

Only really poor service issue I had was with a bereavement team of a huge high street bank. I rang them to get my FiL's credit card cancelled and was told they couldn't deal with me and that he (the deceased) needed to bring his death certificate into one of their branches.

DavidT67

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6676987/did-anyone-else-find-dealing-with-companies-as-an-executor-upsetting

Several online service offerings already exist in this space, so you'll be entering a crowded market against much larger, well funded competitors. Estate agents are known to be useless, as are financial organisations frontline customer support staff. But the specialist bereavements teams we totally fine.
Honestly adding a third party intermediary into the process gains you nothing but delays, complexity and more hoops to jump through. If you want to outsource the executor duties then there are qualified legal firms for that, what status would a layperson have in that market? Would any organisations deal with a layperson in lieu of the executor or a legal firm appointed by the executor?

Devongardener

It seems like another level of unnecessary admin to appoint a company to deal those things, not least having to trust someone with the financial affairs of the deceased. I know it’s not your intention, but such a scheme is open to fraud. Most organisations will only deal with the executors so having to formally appoint an intermediary is just another task.

I had no issues with any of the financial institutions or utilities when dealing with my mother’s fairly complicated affairs, the bereavement teams were generally good, and the ‘tell us once’ service worked really well.

My brother and I did the probate application online with no issues.

Cubicsrube

I understand where you’re coming from.

Having lost all four of our parents in as many years, we’ve had variable experiences with almost every bank, pension company, utility there is as well as other institutions, like HMRC and Private. These ranged from attentive and compassionate to clueless and insensitive. Though the insensitive ones were in the minority, they had an outsized impact. Most banks were great; the hospital was not; utilities acted quickly but still sent letters addressed to the deceased for months afterwards; one parent’s IFA was useless and reactive, managing agent of the property was terrible, HMrC was good, probate service was a black box. Worst of all were a few charitable beneficiaries who were awful, engaging with my partner as an administrative barrier to their money, not the grieving child of a beloved parent who had been very generous to them. I suppose to them, death is banal and commonplace, whereas to you and me it is a rare cataclysm.

But as others have said, I don’t see that an intermediary could have helped much with any of this. For one thing, it was hard enough getting some institutions to deal with us as child and named executor, let alone a third party.

But you might be onto something when it comes to the emotional side. I could have done with an ‘after-death doula’ to coach and support us through the hardest parts. To remind me what needed to be done, help figure out what order, vent to safely, etc. This type of service is starting to spring up in the states.

p00hsticks

I'm just starting my third probate application in six years - I've always found the Bereavement teams of the companies I've had to deal with efficient and considerate.

My main bug bear in the previous two has been dealing with the sale of the deceased's car, after the DVLA remove the deceased as registered keeper when informed via the Tell Us Once service.

I can't how paying a third party to handle things would improve matters - the executor would still need to find and supply all the account numbers etc, and give the third party permission to deal with the estate on their behalf - if companies can't treat the executor properly, what chance do they have of dealing with an outside third party ?

I'm out.

lincroft1710

Had no real problems when I was acting as an executor. If the executorship is straightforward, you rarely hear about it on this board