Widowed Mums

path_to_1m

couple of quick disclaimers,
I am on a new account, but have previously been on this forum for well over a decade,
and I looked for a thread on this already and couldn't see one, if there is can someone link me and I'll close this down? Thank you <3

Any other solo parenting widowed mums here?
I am 19 months into this and I am finding the money side of things interesting, from the obvious reduction of income, to the less obvious frivolous spending because my brain doesn't seem to care which is at odds with the first bit but it is apparently reasonably common?

Thought it might be nice to have a place to discuss these things / come together?

On a personal note I have decided that my long term aim is to leave my kids with as much money as possible, so going to see if that helps my brain lock in!
I have therefore decided, somewhat ambitiously… to see if I can have a net worth of £1mil by the time I retire (I am about 25 years off so that's plenty of time surely 🤣)

DigForVictory

Aren't the newly bereaved discouraged from making serious decisions for the first year (and if possible the second) as the balance of mind may be impaired?

I'm all for building up a stash of money, just I couldn't look myself in the eye if I said yes, invest in the wildly risky shares which could zoom or crash, (although the Exchange Traded Funds feel a lot less hazardous over the long game.) What I did do was eyeball all outgoings & try to flatten them - the debt free wannabe board goes over your Statement of Affairs with great thoroughness & informed ruthlessness. They were inspirational. I am mortgage-free now because they were ruthless on needs & wants & checking what percentage things were. (I can afford the parental student contribution, which was a huge source of relief.)

Oh yes, frivolity is not rare. As with a lot of minor vices though, once you include it in the budget, it becomes more manageable (or just a bit less fun).
I take it your offspring do understand that you are playing a new game, "make every penny hustle", with them as the winners? They will cope with unbranded trainers (slightly) better if they think the difference is going into an account with their name on it. Which is a promise worth delivering on, as if they're under 18 they may well be taxed less than you. Just be ruthless about moving the money to the best rates.

It is absolutely no fun being a widow (of either gender) but do let's make this thread a place where we can help each other!