Advice needed please

gplion55

You should just sell the property immediately and move on. If you don't do that, you can basically say goodbye to your inheritance. If they want the house, they must buy you out for your (50%?) share.

I have a similar situation where a sibling cared for a parent but didn't move out…After 3 years I am still fighting to get them out and meanwhile the size of the inheritance shrinks and the legal costs go up.

Bobbysoxx29

Thanks again to you all.

Your comments are so making sense to me and to outline a few things.

My sister has never done well with money. Her first husband ended up paying off the debts she had amounted after they divorced, which took him 4 years. She married her current husband and she bragged about what money he could earn. They had new cars, holidays and a second home in another part of the country but as the well paid jobs disappeared, they then had to start to sell their assets and eventually everything was gone and they were broke. Then they were reliant upon me and Mum to pay the bills. She must have had thousands of pounds from us, Rent/ Electric/ Water/ Shopping/ Telephone Bills etc. My husband even lent them some money to stop the bailiffs from taking whatever they had, which is something my Mum never knew about thankfully.

The more I read your advice then I am even more sure that the house needs selling and splitting the money so that my husband and I can live a more carefree life before I go back to having the Black Dog on my shoulder again.

Bobbysoxx29

Just to say

I am 57 and my sister is 70.

I do not have children but my sister has 2.

The house was valued for Probate at £275,000.

My sister does not have the means to buy me out.

Savvy_Sue

You say she's joint executor with you. Which means, unless she's gone 'power reserved' or revoked that role, you're going to need signatures from her.

If that becomes a problem, will her children support you in explaining things to her?

And if not, might a single letter from a solicitor help?

RAS

So sell in now. If your sister really had bailiffs round, rather than a threatogram, then she/they have not paid secure debt, CT, fines or business debt. Bailiffs for consumer debt are very rare and have few real teeth. They'd just refer the debt back to the owner if they weren't invited in.

You've mentioned waiting for confirmation that the house is being put in joint names? You need to stop that if you can. Assuming it's being done by a lawyer, speak to them on Monday.

Edit: Do you really fancy the situation where your niblings have a half share and either of them can move in, inheriting the right of residence when your sister dies?

Bobbysoxx29

Thanks again for the advice.

I have discussed the situation with my sister and it seems that she thinks I am the one letting her down. She is visiting on Sunday so we shall see what happens.

The only regret I have is that I promised my mum that I wouldn't sell the house and that I would buy my sister out and keep it which looking back now was a very rose-coloured spectacles view of life.

Now it seems to be that I want to sell and she wants to keep it.

My hubby and my nephew (my sister's son, who I am close to) have told me that my mum would understand, that circumstances change and its time for me and hubby to live our lives, which I have to say I am so looking forward to.

Technosaurus

I wouldn't personally worry about what you promised your Mum.

I'm in the "after-death industry" if you like and the amount of times people either have huge fallouts or plunge themselves into wholly avoidable situations based on a promise to a now-deceased person is a source of constant bafflement to me. After all, and I'm sorry if this sounds cold and clinical, they won't know…

In this instance, you made a promise but on closer inspection it's going to be a financial headache for all concerned, so it would be madness to continue. It's not like you're riding roughshod over her wishes, you've considered it fully and it probably won't work. Throw in potential sibling fallout over the finer details and an almost certain collision course over money later - no mother would want a vague promise to trump the rational decision to 'cash in' and live your lives exactly as you would want independently.

thegreenone

I do hope you can stop the Land Registry change. Have you spoken to them today?

I agree with everything the others have said said above, about not letting your sister takeover the house, because that is what she will do.

Please make sure all discussions on Sunday are conducted with everyone present. Not usual as it's just you two as executors but to make sure everyone hears everything.

Sea_Shell

I agree with @Technosaurus

Don't let your Sis use that promise as a stick to beat you with.

Just state that things have changed, and you can no longer keep it.

Don't beat yourself up with it either.

Cubicsrube

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82056120#Comment_82056120

You can reassure her that no-one is letting anyone down: now that you have looked into the legal side of things, it has become clear that one sister living in the property while the other one still owns a share of it (either way round, so it's not just about her!) is an absolute quagmire and to be avoided at all costs.

If she gets emotional, you calmly acknowledge her feelings and just keep restating that keeping the property in joint ownership with one owner living there is not a viable option. Keep restating the viable options: one sister buys the other out, or someone else buys you both out.

Per thegreenone and others, it is vital you stop the house being reregistered in both your names. You want to sell it from the estate. Don't keep waiting for your sister to accept the big picture before taking that action.