We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Advice needed please

My Mum passed away in July 2025 and as it is now almost sorted legally and financially, I would like some independent advice.

My sister and myself are joint executors and beneficiaries of my mum's Estate and I had a wonderful plan to keep the house and to renovate and to rent it out.

It was my childhood home and the location has a connection with the family going back to when they were first built (circa 1910). My Great grandparents were the first people to live in one of these houses and there had always been an ancestor living there up until my Mum died last year. My dad passed away in 2015.

Now we have settled everything, Probate has been granted and we are waiting for confirmation that the house is now registered at Land Registry in mine and my sister's names.

Now I am starting to realise that it will take more money to renovate it than we have available.

I work, I am married and we have our own place and looked after my money, whereas my sister has not. Her and her husband have squandered their way through his parents £200,000 estate and now live in rented accommodation and she is working full time at the age of 70 to make ends meet.

She has told me that we should put £10,000 in a joint account for renovations and split the other £20,000 between us. I have told her that the renovations would cost more than that and she wasn't best pleased with me.

As I am writing this,I am realising that although I am reminiscing magically about the house, I actually do not want to spend any time there as when my dad passed away, myself and my husband became Mum's carer's in a way. I took her for hospital/ doctors/ hearing aid appointments, any time she thought we were going out, she would expect to accompany us, we helped her to garden and took her shopping. For 12 years, we never really had any time to ourselves. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Mothering Sunday, Bank Holidays, she came to our house and eventually it pushed me over the edge and I went onto anti-depressents. All the while my sister enjoyed her life and only visited very occasionally.

Perhaps I have just written the answer to myself !!

«1345

Comments

  • Smudgeismydog
    Smudgeismydog Posts: 730 Ambassador
    500 Posts Third Anniversary Photogenic Mortgage-free Glee!

    As you noted, you’ve probably answered your own question. It doesn’t sound like you want to remain tied to the property, working through renovations with your sister.

    Particularly after having spent so many years caring for your mum, my advise would be to sell the property, take your half of the proceeds and for you and your husband to have some very overdue, and deserved, time off together

    Best wishes to you x

    I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Pension, Debt Free Wanabee, and Over 50 Money Saving boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the Report button, or by e-mailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
  • Jemma01
    Jemma01 Posts: 1,015 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 23 June at 9:56PM

    It does sound like the joint account is a good idea with someone who's financial views differs to yours.

    I would sell the house asap, and put the money in my pension and live a happy life, you are not young seeing your sister's age. Get the money and book yourself a holiday and rekindle your relationship with your partner.

    I'm FTB, not an expert, all my comments are from personal experience and not a professional advice.
    Mortgage debt start date 11/2024 = 175k (5.19%)... Q1/2026 = PAID (3.94%)
  • MarzipanCrumble
    MarzipanCrumble Posts: 447 Forumite
    Third Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper

    Beware joint accounts - money can be taken out by either one or the other.

  • Bobbysoxx29
    Bobbysoxx29 Posts: 23 Forumite
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Posts Photogenic

    Thanks for all your input. I think I had already been going down the 'sell it' route but I just needed a little independent advice to quell any fears.

    just for the record I am 57 and the house has been valued at £275,000 for Probate.

    I live 10 minutes drive away and my sister lives on Mars ( well you would think it was Mars the amount of times she has visited over the last 12 years), so you have also confirmed to me that I do not wish to be tangled as joint Landlords with my sister even though she now delights in telling people she is a home-owner.

    I will talk to my sister ASAP and we can get things moving and hopefully myself and my husband will be able to enjoy life going forward.

    Thank you

★ ★ ★ Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 355.6K Banking & Borrowing
  • 254.8K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 456.1K Spending & Discounts
  • 248.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 605.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 179K Life & Family
  • 263.5K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.7K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.