Stressed and scared

PennysIntoPounds

Have you contacted businessdebtline as you mentioned before? If not absolutely get in touch tomorrow so hopefully you get clearer understanding of the possible routes and outcomes.

If your mum is offering a personal loan and you need to get your kid to sen school, then discuss with your mum when she would need to be paid back.

You don't know at this stage if you will have to get bankruptcy what with inheritance so please stop freaking out about that, this is a really horrible time for you but it will all be okay one way or another!

Do an SOA (statement of affairs) so you can see facts and figures laid out, then do another one with inheritance included. Share it here if you want feedback from us about what bills and outgoings could be trimmed or changed, but do it for yourself and keep it private if you prefer, but definitely get yer facts and figures down so they're not roaming free in your head!

I don't have the mse recommended SOA link, could @brie or someone else post it for beeteecee please?

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82037348#Comment_82037348

Thanks so much, I owe a huge amount to the HMRC and they aren't chasing it at present but of course they should be…they did once get to bankruptcy being mentioned in 2021/22 so I entered the IVA.

Businessdebtline are very very helpful and always recommend bankruptcy, I just haven't sorted myself out and I'm terrified of phonecalls, even with helpful folk, so it's becoming more difficult for me to do anything.

I can't have my mum finding out and if she did this, I'd have to pay her back and the official receiver would know and it'd all be revealed…I'm just in a mess I know.

Thank you so much for being so kind…my income/expenditure is awful and not in any kind of control, I think there's something wrong with me really that I can't get anything sorted.

Thank you again :) I will try and do the SOA if I can and try and get myself in order.

PennysIntoPounds

I also hate phonecalls and will put important things off and off because there's a phone call involved, but please call them tomorrow so you have some advice about the specifics of your situation, ask if bankruptcy is the right thing given the changed situation

This can be your one brave thing you do all week, you don't have to do any others, but you said they were helpful before so I think it would be so good to get their input.

Wear a brilliant outfit or at least accessory, pretend you're an exec in the City doing a business conversation 🥂

You are already in order. You have acknowledged the situation, you are posting here, you're gonna call them tomorrow and make an SOA, you're doing grand, especially in the midst of all the life emotions

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82037373#Comment_82037373

Thank you so much for your advice again, I should make sure I call them ASAP somehow. Everything is so up in the air without my car now, on top of all the dad stuff, I've got 5 kids to ferry places and very little spare cash to sort them out - plus I need to try and work 8+ hours a day if I can, but how can I? The stress is huge but you've been unbelievably helpful thank you!

ManyWays

It is a pity you did not go bankrupt years ago, but you are where you are now, and I think you just have to wait until you have some idea how large your dad's estate is and who else will inherit some of it.

It is not a good idea to go bankrupt, or to make any other major decision, until you have some idea of those numbers

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82037426#Comment_82037426

It is, I've really messed up - it all started going wrong when I opted for the IVA over the bankruptcy and I haven't been able to recover or sort anything out, everything just keeps getting worse. My dad's estate, if anything comes to me at all, will not cover this mess for certain. He has a wife with no dependents so best case scenario (sounds horribly clinical) is that everything is hers so I don't feel like I've ruined something else.

PennysIntoPounds

You won't have ruined anything if you inherit money, your dad's finances were his business just as your finances are your business

beanielou

Please please be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over what’s done. Concentrate on now & the baby steps that you can take to help yourself even just a wee bit. Remember and this is so important that our lovely Martin Lewis says there is no debt that cannot be dealt with. Hold onto that thought x

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82037467#Comment_82037467

It just feels so awful but I understand this is more true than the way I'm thinking and seeing everything!

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82037505#Comment_82037505

Thank you so much for being so kind…it's so hard to know what to do and then another thing happens and I'm knocked even further down. Continiuing to do nothing is not an option so I really have to act. Thank you so much again :) x