Stressed and scared

PennysIntoPounds

Maybe contact StepChange or a similar organisation to talk things through with them and perhaps get a better idea of what likely outcomes /routes are available.

If at the end of the day, a large chunk of debt gets paid off then that's a good outcome and if you have to say to family 'just to let you know, sorry there's no inheritance, I got a walloping great bill from HMRC, so thank you to my Dad for helping with that!' then that is absolutely fine, it's no-one else's business and certainly no-one else's inheritance

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82015936#Comment_82015936

This sounds like a rational way to approach it - thank you so much. I have spoken to businessdebtline previously so I will contact them again.

I'm worried about being made bankrupt (almost guaranteed) and everyone finding out because of this. It's a silly fear but I can't seem to get past it.

beanielou

There’s no need for anyone apart from your creditors to know that you go bankrupt. Keep plodding 🤗

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82015953#Comment_82015953

Thank you 🩷 I'm scared of the inevitable questions when my dad's estate is settled but it is really no one's business.

PennysIntoPounds

Good plan 👍

Hopefully they will be able to give you a clearer picture on whether you will be made bankrupt now you're getting the amount you're likely to get, and there might be options to put it off or negotiate if there's some money available to pay back once probate has cleared.

But there are people on here who would advise that in some situations it can be better to go bankrupt rather than struggle so much, so make sure to check for advice before making any major decisions, and don't see it as the worst thing that can happen

It's completely normal to feel upset at the thought of people knowing your private business but nothing you've said points towards that happening other than close people might ask about your inheritance, in which case as I said just smile and roll your eyes and say 'HMRC', if there's one thing everyone understands it's 'HMRC' and an eye roll!

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82015971#Comment_82015971

Thank you for being so rational and level headed and understanding! All I can see is my mum's reaction if she finds out about my years of terrible financial stupidity. But I will try to refocus 🤞🏻

beanielou

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82015993#Comment_82015993

There’s no need for her to know unless you choose to tell her. All she needs to know is that you owed HMRC 🤗

Jemma01

Oh babe I felt the stress in your post. What your family inherits after you pass is your least concern, no one is entitled to any inheritance in the first place, if something is there great, if not, oh well. Don't let these thoughts get to you, they'll bring you down for nothing. Just focus on how you can move forward. I don't have context of your situation, but I do hope it resolves the way you hope 😔

beeteecee

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82016143#Comment_82016143

Thank you 🩷, honestly I can imagine any positive outcomes but there will surely be an end point at some point. I should be brave enough to take control 😬

beeteecee

My car has now also given up today and things keep getting worse. If I were able t get finance for another vehicle it's going to look terrible when bankruptcy happens isn't it…My mother is offering a loan but she cannot find out about the bankruptcy so I can't do that, the idea of her knowing is too much on top of everything, I just can't cope.
I feel like everything is just getting worse by the day. I need to be able to drive for my youngest child to get to school safely as they have to attend a SEN school…I'm doing nothing about my debts at all…heard nothing from anyone since IVA failed & new HMRC debt is growing too, I can't sort it out and I don't know what to do…I'm so stuck.