Sharing the cost of living with a partner

HelloBello

I live with my girlfriend in a house which I own without a mortgage. I was lucky to be able to buy it with savings from a previously high earning career. It is a small house and was bought cheap in a cheap part of the country.

Due to change of circumstances I now have a low paid job which no longer covers the bills. My girlfriend has lived with me for 2 years and does not contribute financially. She keeps saying she will but has not done. I didn’t mind at first because I could cover the cost of living but prices have now out priced my earnings. I have also spent more than a year’s salary this year on repairs to the house. It is now fully repaired so hopefully no more extensive expenses will be needed.

I pay all bills and cover the big supermarket shop weekly. I allow her to pay when we eat or drink out to try to compensate but we don’t go out often. To make matters worse she has now bought a buy to let flat and is making money from that.

We earn about the same money or I think she earns a small bit more than me.

In my one other previous relationship we did everything 50/50. I know she has lived with several other partners previously and had issues.

As I own the house is it reasonable for me to ask her to pay half?

And should I put her on the deeds of the house to reflect that contribution?

oldernonethewiser

"She keeps saying she will but has not done."

What reason has she given for not contributing?

flaneurs_lobster

I would suggest that this post would be better off in Marriage, relationships & families, any issues here have very little to do with budgeting or bank accounts.

asp746

Never put her on the deeds as if you split you could lose your home.

born_again

Sit down together & explain that as you have had a drop in income, that she needs to step up & cover 50% of the costs.

blue.peter

You need to discuss the subject with her. Explain your financial situation, and invite her to pay towards the joint expenses. Yes, it is reasonable to ask her to pay towards the joint ongoing expenses (energy, broadband, Council Tax, water, groceries and so on). You might think that a separate bank account, to which you both contribute for these purposes, would be helpful. (But beware of the associated risk if you set it up as a joint account.)

Don't put her on the deeds as part-owner unless she buys a share - i.e., pays you a capital sum towards the value of the house. If you do, make sure that it's set up as tenants in common, not a joint tenancy, and have a contract setting out exactly what proportion of the value of the house is hers (based on the present value of the house and the amount that she pays). If it was my house, I wouldn't do it: I'd want the security of owning my home.

Having said that, I agree with @flaneurs_lobster that this board isn't really the right place for this subject.

gwynlas

It would appear that she is taking advantage especialy if she's been able to buy another property whilst with you.

She sjhould be contributing towards weekly food shop and pay a share of utilities and the 25% of council tax that you would be saving if there alone.

Unless you intend this relationship to lead to marriage or civil partnership I would not change the status of ownership as she;s contributed nothing so far. Even then be aware that you could get divorced and lose half of your home etc.

She might argue that she is contributing by doing all household chores, cleaning laundry cooking etc but you could employ a cleaner and presumably managed okay before she came on the scene

Jemma01

I wouldn't just ask her to contribute towards the bills, food and council tax 50/50, but to also pay rent, since she's living there whilst earning money from another place! You're not making a profit out of your house; why should she not share her profits while living at yours? You're sharing your house 50/50, she needs to share her profit in a form of rent.

She shouldn't contribute anything towards fixing your house; otherwise, she can claim an interest in the house.

itsthelittlethings

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81982734#Comment_81982734

He doesn't say she is doing all household chores, are you assuming that just because she is female?

gwynlas

Yes, there was a very similar thread during the past week where partner was paying £600 per month towards household expenses, again had another property rented out claimed to be doing majority of chores as semi retired. She was asking for advice after being asked to contribute half of removal costs

Statistically women in heterosexual relationships carry out larger percentage of housework

DREKLY

Long story short; you are being taken for a ride. Sorry.